“MOMMY, WHY?”

Time with a two year old can be so precious. Their observation on life is so unique and the questions never seem to stop.

I thought my daughter would ask the personal questions first. However, she is a bit more reserved and just goes with the flow.  Yet, I could definitely depend on my son. He needs all the information on any situation and will not let me off the hook with a weak response.

I wasn’t prepared for this though. The sudden unexpected questions about dad…

He had asked me before, but I usually would distract him with another topic or a fruit snack. However, this time there was no room for avoidance.  Having an uncannily articulate child can be a gift and a curse.  LOL

Picture him sitting right next to me Indian style on our living room floor. We were still opening boxes from our basement storage and looking through photo albums. He was amused at how much he had grown and wanted me to stop and look at every picture with him.

As we opened the old box with a ton of photos he saw pictures of his dad with Heaven and I. Most of them were while I was pregnant with him. He was amused at how big my tummy was.  Then there were random pictures of us in our happier moments. He looked at the picture as though apart of him had truly missed out on something.

“That’s daddy, mommy!” he said enthusiastically.

“It sure is!” I said trying to sound just as chipper as he did.

“Why can’t daddy live with us?” he said looking at a picture in a photo album of me standing next to his dad at our baby shower.

I wanted to ignore the question, but as he went through the photo album and saw more and more pictures, the questions kept coming. It was obvious that he was not going to let me out of the hot seat.

I wanted to reply back with a smart sarcastic answer. Yet, I had to remember to be mature and do my best not to paint a negative picture of dad. Regardless, of the ill feelings I had due to the failed relationship, I had to present a positive response.

“Jr, your dad and I decided that we were not happy together anymore so it would be best that we just lived apart and love each other from a distance.”

“But why can’t dad live with me, you and Heaven? Don’t you like daddy?” he asked disappointed.

I paused again and tried to watch my tone.

“Jeremey, your dad and I are going to talk to you about this at a later date ok?” I said trying to keep my happy face on. I didn’t want him to feel bad about asking me a question. He had a right to know, but honestly I didn’t want to say anything else. Anything else would be fake, and I didn’t want to give him a watered down version of the truth. Kids can tell when you are not being sincere. However, he is way too young to know the details.  Plus, everything would be very biased and that is not fair.

The immature side of me wanted to jokingly say, “because daddy is a cheating bastard!”

However, that would be a horrible thing to say about his dad who is his hero.

Instead, I rather keep it simple and move off the topic.

Sadly, he would have to accept that dad and I are never getting back together.

And it would be best to just reserve our versions of the truth for the future…

 

-From A Mom Trying To Do Her Best

TAHNEE COLE

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