Motherhood or Success?

A lot of moms don’t want to talk about this. Either it is too cliché or too touchy. The demands on the mom who wants to have a successful career is REAL. The judgments are excruciating and the work that has to be put in is exhausting. We all know that parenting is not easy anyway. It is rewarding and equally challenging.  We have to put on our capes and become Superhero’s. We have to be brave, but honestly most of us are still scared little children who are walking by faith.

Being a mom in corporate America, I have always notice the silent demands placed on me since I wanted to do both. Declaring that I could raise a family successfully and have a career seemed a little far-fetched to most; especially, as a single mom. On one hand it is highly respected, but on the other folks are unsure that you can live out the task. Someone will get cheated right? Most think that the kids will be neglected or your job will constantly have to take a backseat.  Despite the numerous examples of Mom Moguls, there is still this stereotype of “The Working Mom”. One day off because the kids are sick makes some bosses question will you ever be fit to handle the CEO role or the more demanding roles that most career moms seek.

Well let me tell you something about moms…

We have learned how to make it work. I believe we are best in positions of power because we are natural leaders. We have just enough empathy to relate to the mass of workers. Plus our multitasking skills are nothing short of amazing. Did I mention we can do 100 things at once successfully? LOL

Think about it, we are natural nurtures and we can breastfeed on demand. I call it Meals on heels. I have typed reports, made dinner and got dressed all while nursing a baby. I have learned how to maneuver through life with a kick ass attitude while having throw up on my shirt. I have learned the art of distracting a whining kid while payiing a bill or two on the phone. I have helped an older child with homework while teaching my younger one how to count. Listen, when it comes to success most mothers are built for this. Now I am not saying it will be easy, but motherhood is not easy. So with that being said we don’t want to choose. We are coming for them both. We want a healthy and happy Motherhood and we want Success.

From a Mom who wants it All

-Tahnee Cole

“It’s ok, Mama”

“Heaven, we don’t have time today.” I said as I pointed to either toast or a Pop-tart.

My morning had started off crazy already.

My alarm clock was on mute and I was about 10 minutes thrown off my schedule. It was by the Grace of God that my 2 year old woke up crying needing cuddles from his zombie nightmare. That frantic cry lead me wake up and look at the clock. While trying to console him I realized it was way after time for me to have my ass up.

“Dammit.” I said getting up frantically. But Jr still wanted to be held, so off we went. A toddler in one arm and my face towel in the other.  A heavy ass toddler I might add, and me running to the bathroom to  turn on the shower. Then running like a Track Star downstairs to the dinning room to turn on my iron. I usually had all my clothes ironed the night before, but for some reason I was a little lazy. Maybe it was because it was Mother’s Day yesterday and so I felt entitled to take a break.

All I could think to myself was: This is why I don’t take breaks, I can’t afford too. Who is going to do stuff when I don’t? 

But really I didn’t have time to even think. I rushed to the shower. Made it a two for one and put Jr in too. Still managing to yell at Heaven to get her butt up so she could take her turn. I felt like I was going to have a mild heart attack looking at my invisible morning to do list and glancing at the fast moving clock.

Then something happened that changed my approach on the morning rush. My toddler looked up at me while I was drying him with a towel and gave me a big smile. Then he said, “it’s ok, mama”.

It was the sincerity and kindness in his little voice that made me pause. Something as simple as that made me stop, look around and realize it was not the end of the world. I had days like this before and I made it through them. Hell, I had days way more hectic than this.  I was going to get to work like I always did and there was no need to kill myself or anyone else in the process.

Some days are just rough. No matter how early or late you get up. No matter how much motivation or preparation you have, some days things just don’t work. It is ok because you are human. Just take a deep breath, do your best and stop being so hard on yourself. It’s ok, mama.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

I have never been the type of person to give up. However, my ambition, perseverance, and desire to be successful has increased. I  attribute that to my children. They are the faces I see at the end of my tunnel. I imagine them cheering me on like the fans do LeBron James on the court. I always think of how disappointed they would be if I don’t be the best person I was designed to be. I picture the look on their faces if I give up.  I am their first example. I am a household leader and their role model. And obviously if I treat  myself or others poorly there is a  chance they will do the same.  Now does that mean put unrealistic goals and pressure on myself? No, it means I can show my kids that I’m a human and not without error, but everyday I am striving and seeking to live the life I desire. Achieving the goals I want to achieve. As well as living the life I want to live. Enjoying life and molding them into individuals who seek purpose, balance and true happiness.

Being a mother has taught me not only a lot about how to treat others, but how to treat myself. Leading my children to be successful means I must first take care of myself. I think of the countless sacrifices my mom made from my birth leading me into adulthood. Some days I wished she would have focused on some of her dreams and deepest desires. If you ask her, she will say she would not change a thing and that all the sacrifices was worth it. She is another reason I refuse to give up. I am very thankful to have had a mother who supported me as a child and still supports me as an adult. It shows that despite our children’s age a moms job is truly never complete. I had an awesome example and I am satisfied if I am half the mother to my children, my mom was to me.

With that being said Happy Mothers Day to all my Mamas, biological, step, foster, etc.  Plus a special prayer to moms who have loss a child, or people who have loss their mom.

Love your Motivated Mama

-Tahnee Cole