HAPPY HALLOWEEN

I thought I would start Halloween off with a funny story. So my kids love dressing alike for Halloween.  No, I didn’t force them. They decided after looking at Jeremey’s poster in his room that they would be Superman and Wonder Woman.

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So of course, I went to Halloween City and found them matching outfits. Now it was time to decide where we would go to celebrate. The temperature around Halloween can be very tricky. Last year, it was very hot the week we celebrated and the kids were able to show their costumes and enjoy outdoor fun at our local  Zoo. This year the weather seemed like it would be a lot cooler. Well, we happened to find a decent 50 degree evening and we went to a local Candy Crawl.  It is a neighborhood event close to my dads home. The kids are invited to walk down a strip with local bakeries and boutiques. The store owners come out and pass the kids candy. It was an awesome event.

While Heaven, Jeremey and I were walking,  Jeremey was saying, “there better not be another Superman here, I am the only Superman.”

He was so serious that I was afraid that if he did see another Superman he would challenge them to a battle.

Every time we would see a red and blue costume he would stop. Then he would proceed to ask,  “is that someone trying to be me, Superman?”

Fortunately, for them it would be a Spider-Man costume. To make a long story short we did not see any other Superman costumes. I was very happy. I didn’t want Lj to activate any of his Superman powers and cause a commotion.

We did see another Wonder Woman, but she was more than half Heaven’s age.  Perhaps due to the age difference she was safe…

From A humorous mom with equally humorous kids

-Tahnee Cole

THE GET UP

I know how it feels to feel overwhelmed, distressed, depressed and confused.

Where the hell is my happily ever after? My Prince Charming?  Where is my good Karma? It seems like I have done good by folk and I can’t even find a good companion to save my life. All the hours I wasted listening to friends vent and invade my happiness with their sob stories. And I listened… because that is what a good friend is supposed to do right?

But what about me? Can somebody pat me on my back and tell me it will be ok?

Shit, can they at least call me and see if I am still breathing?

Where is my durable umbrella when it rains?

It feels like my world is crashing around me. I am drowning financially. I am suffering emotionally. I am confused spiritually and now its affecting me physically. I can’t sleep well. I can’t eat without feeling sick. My back hurts and I got a headache every other day. I’m trying to stay up to work on my business plan, but my mind is wandering. It is hard keeping my eyes open at 10pm after being up every morning at 4:30 am. Working an 8hr shift, then coming home and working again. Plus, I am mentally drained.

I can’t help but think about the unfairness I am feeling. Plus the News got me feeling some type of way. Police brutality, my peoples negative mentalities, abductions and drugs. I’m depressed because I got a young black boy. I love him, but the streets don’t. Now I can’t think of my plan because I got thoughts of how I got to keep my son out of the streets. I got to raise my son to wear certain clothes so he won’t look threatening. I got to help him debunk the stereotypes of thug, baby daddy, lazy, thief, womanizer and murderer all because of his melanin.

And my daughter…

Yes, she is gorgeous and getting more gorgeous by the day. A gift and a curse. I pray she makes better decisions than me. I’m hard on her because I want her to use her beauty and talent to be a virtuous woman. I want her to stay in school and avoid the slums. I want her to see her true value and self worth at a young age. I want her to be all that she was created to be.

My babies got to be the best version of themselves. Then all the stress I endure will be worth it.

I try to focus again on my plan to change my reality, but my kids are yelling. My kids are my everything, but they are annoying the hell out of me right now. I stop to see what the problem is. I can’t push them away because I have been away from them all day. My son is mad because my daughter won’t give him the last Pop-Tart.

“The last Pop-Tart? Dammit, didn’t I just buy a box?” Another expense I thought to myself.

I see my kids a couple hours a day. Most of our time together is spent eating, getting ready for the next day and then sleeping. I have to get up and go to a job I hate to make ends meet. I thought when I graduated college life was going to fall in place. Three degrees and triple struggles. I shouldn’t be ungrateful though because that job I hate puts food on my table. And for a regular person, they would consider it to be a great job.  It’s not enough though. I have talent. I have ambition and I am on a mission. I wasn’t built for this average life. I never felt average. Yet, I been making some average ass decisions.

I might as well die because everything around me has been crashing down. But hell no, I can’t die because my babies need me. I would haunt the hell out of someone who tries to hurt them even if I was dead.  I just need a long sleep. Just enough time to rejuvenate. I need to revitalize my heart. It’s hurt.

I have just learned how to manage while the pieces of my broken heart has come together.  I feel defeated. I feel like everything I attempt to do turns against me. Friends have left. Family dismissed my pain. They say it is going to be ok when I don’t agree.

I’m not a drinker and I have never smoked before, but stress got me contemplating both.

They tell me to Just pray about it.  But shit I’ve been praying.  My knees are sore from praying. I have had faith like a mustard seed. I have fasted. I called on the prayer warriors.  Matter of fact, I stand tall and I get knocked down constantly. Did God forget about me? I guess me breathing means he still cares about my existence. My prayers are relentless.

I run to my bedroom and fall on the bed. The tears in my eyes. I want to hide my face. I want to hide from myself. I am stronger than this. I been through so much I am a champion right? At least my kids think I am. I even think my family feels that way. I can’t have a breakdown in front of my kids. I am their superhero.

The mere fact that my kids see me crying is embarrassing. They looked shocked that mommy is crying. But unbothered by my weak moment. They have faith in me. More than I have in myself. My son handed me a tissue. My daughter brushed my hair from my face and helped wiped my tears away. I tried to cover my face. Then I heard my son say, “Get up mommy”

So I got up.

And I stood to fight another day!

You don’t have to… it’s ok

They tell us to fake it until we make it. I say that it is time for us to be honest and transparent about how we feel. It is the only way that we can tackle and resolve our issues. I am done covering my wounds instead of properly healing them. I have spent years covering my blemishes with MAC makeup. However, I should be finding the proper topical treatments to get rid of them. I am not talking about beauty or makeup right now though. I am talking about the facades that we put on out of embarrassment for our mental and emotional struggles.

I am saying this for all the moms who are saying they are ok, even thought they are dealing with mental depression and anxiety. For the mom who is saying she is alright, when she had been up all night with a feverish child. That mom is now working off two hours of sleep at work and struggling to keep her eyes open.  For the new mom who has been told all the right ways to be the right mom. When all she wants is someone to offer to hold the baby while she takes a shower.  I am writing this for the single mom who is not ok with missing her sons t-ball game again. Yet, due to her overwhelming work schedule and being the sole provider she has to let him down. For the stay at home mom who is judged that the house should be cleaner, but she has been cleaning all day to no avail. This is for the mom who is grief-stricken after her miscarriage, but keeps hearing that she can try again. It seems that no one understands that she is still mourning the loss of what she never had a chance to have. You don’t have to fake it anymore. Be honest with how you feel. Acknowledge that you are not ok. It’s ok.

From a Mom Who knows…

Tahnee L. Cole

#GOALS

If you follow me on Instagram at blackpumpspinkslippers you will see that I post #MomConfessions and #MomGoals daily on my page. While #MomConfessions are humorous little nuggets of hidden mom truths. #MomGoals are my desires to help my children attain success and happiness.

One of my #MomGoals is to teach my children that generational curses is just a belief and a way of getting yourself off the hook for not being successful. I would rather call it generational diseases simply because it can transpire into poor habits and thinking that spreads. Our lives are not predestined to failure. Most of us select failure by not learning from our mistakes, refusing to take a new approach and keeping the same poor mindset. We also fall into so called family curses not because of voodoo placed on our family, but because we follow the same practices from the previous generations. Those same agendas and practices either did not work for them or due to change they no longer work for us.

My duty as a mom is to provide my children with resources to show them abundance is possible. I am here to connect them to mentors who are more intelligent and talented than me. I would never want my children to think due to their last name or the blood running through their veins that they are doomed. I want to help them broaden their thoughts and allow them to see that their opportunities are limitless.  #MOMGOALS!

 

From a MOM who believes in #MOMGOALS

Tahnee Cole

Millennial Moms Think Different

I am not afraid of winning or losing anymore. Probably because nine times out of ten I am winning, and the things that are gone are no longer beneficial to me. I have replaced them with better. My mind has changed and my energy has changed. I represent the Millennial Mom who teaches her children a totally new way. And yes, I embrace the awkward and uncomfortable feeling it brings. Yet, it is not as unpopular as it use to be. Keep in mind that good morals and integrity is still taught. However, most “Millennial Moms” are guiding our children into financial freedom, teaching them about self care, entrepreneurship, free thinking and self development.

The old “American Dream” is nothing other than a nightmare for most. We demand more. We demand more for our children. Quite frankly, we desire more for our parents. We want to give them a glimpse of our “better life” approach before they perish. We want to show them how our formulas for life, and our ideas would have freed them from the bondage their minds had them trapped in many years ago. We want to show everyone a way out of limited thinking. We desire to show and prove that abundance is possible and necessary. We are encouraging flourishing.

Millennial moms are teaching our children that the only way out is to understand that there is a way out. There is no one way, there are many ways. The ultimate way to freedom is to understand that there is freedom. The only way to success, is to understand and to believe that you can achieve it. It all starts in the mind. We are not the same moms from the past. In no way am I degrading the thoughts and minds of the moms of the past. I am sure they also wanted the best. The millennial moms are just able to understand that times are changing and we are growing with them. We want different, we think different!

From a Millennial Mom with goals…

Tahnee L. Cole