Being a single parent has many challenges, but so does co-parenting. Co-parenting takes a large amount of maturity on both ends. It takes more teamwork than some parents actually want to engage in. I disagree when they say co-parenting is all about the child and that you have to immerse your feelings in the child’s needs. Yes, the child comes first, but sometimes trying to hide feelings or act like there is no problems between you only makes the situation worse. Essentially, there is a need to discuss amongst each other the issues, get some type of understanding and then move on with the co-parenting journey. Unfortunately, some situations will never be resolved regardless of the effort. If you are dealing with a dead-end co-parenting relationship or a resistant partner, you have to do the best that you can on your end. Despite the other parent’s actions be the best that you can be for your kid(s).
Here are 5 tips to use for your co-parenting journey!
Weekly Check-ins– It is a must that both parents are up to date with what the child/children are doing regarding their progress in school or childcare. A lot of parents don’t want to communicate with each other due to personal reasons, but communication is a must when a child’s success and development is involved. Pick one day to communicate, whether it is by email summary or a phone call. Just remember to keep it professional and only about the child.
Document– Keep a record of conversations, appointments and updates so that each parent is clear on what is going on. If everything is documented then there will be no need for misunderstandings.
Establish boundaries– Establish clear boundaries between each other so that there is complete respect and clarity. Establish boundaries between parenting time, joint time, rules and what you both are comfortable with during your parenthood journey.
Don’t talk bad– It is so easy for you to get upset and start showing your disapproval of the other parent in front of the kid(s). Nobody is perfect and we have all done it, but it frustrates the child and makes them feel awkward as if they have to choose a side. Your child should not be in a situation where they feel like their parent is disrespected. Try to keep comments positive or say nothing at all.
Seek Counseling– I am an advocate for therapy. I believe it is very helpful to let an experienced outside source assist with helping resolve and mend situations. If you have a very toxic and hostile relationship it may be helpful to seek therapy. Also, take advantage of co-parenting classes in your local area to build good communication and hopefully an even better relationship.
Good luck to all my moms on your co-parenting journey. Remember with time comes change and you are still a family!
From a Mom who cares