Love Again?

I recently made a vow that I did not want to date again until I accomplished all of my personal goals. I truly feel like every time I come close to accomplishing a huge goal, some gorgeous man comes into my life and gets me a little off track. Now, I’m not saying everything falls apart, but I do notice that I find myself losing more of “me” to become “we”. I think that is the typical life of a “hopeless romantic”!

Let’s be clear, I am not anti-love or expressing that I do not want to be in love. Nor am I speaking against having a fulfilling relationship, but time is precious and not recycle-able. I have no time to waste. This year is already coming to a close and I still feel like I have not come close to completing everything I want to. Ironically, when you don’t want to be in a relationship here comes Mr. Handsome craving your time and attention. So you give in because he is tall, beautiful and everything you desire in a man, LOL.

So what’s next and how do you balance it all?

I had been dating a guy for several months. He seemed to be everything I desired. This man is well educated, has one daughter that he takes very good care of,  he is 4 yrs older than me, handsome and we both work in finance. Anyway, we had great chemistry, family values and spent a lot of time together. Then the minor conflicts surfaced. Instead of working through them, I decided to walk away. I did not want to waste time putting effort into a situation that could possibly be a waste of time.

I looked at it from a narrow perspective, that is: first sign of trouble, run!  At first I had mixed emotions. I began to wonder if this was Mr. Right that I was walking away from, and if I had made a mistake. Maybe Mr. Right had a few things I did not agree with, but maybe we could work out the kinks and resolve the minor disagreements.  However, I got exhausted just thinking about the effort it takes to invest in a relationship. Truth be told, I had not even fully invested enough in me. I decided that I wanted to spend at least a year fully investing in myself to reach my full potential.

My only advice to moms who are tying to balance life and a life partner is to find someone who is willing to support your vision. The person who is for you will  give you the space that you need to grow into your greatness. It is ok though to make a decision to focus on yourself before you put a huge focus on someone else.

From A Mom, Trying to Balance it All…

-Tahnee Cole