Working Moms & Guilt…

Being a career mom can feel rewarding.

My children take pride in saying my mommy works here and she does this for a living.

I have always wanted to be a mom. I was born to be a mom.

However, I also wanted to pursue my personal passions. Such as: obtaining multiple degrees, starting some businesses, writing and working for a reputable corporation. I have done all of those things, but being a mom has beat all of those accomplishments.

The pure joy I receive when I am with my children is unmatched. Yes, they drive me crazy some days, but I would not trade them for a million bucks. Matter of fact, on most days I would rather spend time with them instead of discussing customer trends and financial statements in long meetings.

There are times that I feel a ton of guilt and I know I am not the only mom to feel this way. Unfortunately, mom guilt for working moms is pretty common.

Imagine the mom who is guilty because she missed her daughter’s ballet recital due to an all day networking event. The amount of guilt she feels could not only impact her quality of work that day, but also her self-esteem. It is possible that mom might feel inferior to a stay-at-home mom who appears to be able to attend all her children’s events.

So a ton of moms over exert themselves and over-compensate for their children to mask the embarrassment and shame we call “mom guilt” .  In reality, no mom is perfect and no mom has to always be at every event to be a great active mom.

The simplest of things can spark up a guilty feeling. Like being tired after work. Even though it is normal to be tired after working an 8hr plus shift. I have beat myself up, as if being tired is a sin. I fault myself on the days that I told my children to go in their rooms for a while, so I could get a little peace and quiet. Or when I locked myself in the bathroom just so that I could take a ten minute shower.

I fault myself on not making one event out of the 20 that I attended on my lunch break. Not to mention making those events on my lunch break and forgetting to eat after. I fault myself simply because I was at work and did not feel like I was giving my best work, why? Only because I missed my babies. Guilt is overwhelming, it can consume your life. Yet, we must learn to stop letting guilt control us.

I had to be honest with myself and ask myself these questions:  Why am I working ?  Who am I working for?  What am I working towards?

The extracurricular activities the kids are involved in requires money. The nice clothes they wear requires money. The great nutritious meals they eat are far from free.  I go to work to support my children and to supply them with a good quality life.

Nothing is free!

Even though I am a supporter for family time and finding ways to expand the balance to lean more in favor of home/life. I would like to encourage all moms to stop beating yourself up and remember you are doing the best you can.

Let go of the guilt. Let go of the fear. Embrace the journey!

From a Mom who is Proud and Becoming Guilt Free

Tahnee Cole




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