Let me be candid, and keep it funky about co-parenting.

Everything is picture perfect now.

You get on social media and the portrayal of a perfect life is the new norm.

The influencers at times, can influence people to live a lie or contribute to insecurities.

Insecurities about fantasies.

A spotless home (usually a mansion), a perfect faithful husband, perfect well-manner kids and my favorite:

Perfect co-parenting relationships…

Look, I am sure there are some very healthy, team player type co-parenting relationships out there. And trust me when I say, I’m proud of them. However, there are a lot of couples who are constantly a work in progress. Co-parenting can be a roller coaster journey, because it can often depend on what the parent is dealing with in his or her own life. Co-parenting can often be difficult for a number of reasons.

Here are a few I have heard outside of my own journey:

  1. Maybe you didn’t get along when you were together . So trying to come to agreements apart can prove to be even more difficult.
  2. Emotions could still be there. Some people don’t want to admit it, but the love they still have for their partner could affect how they raise the kids. The feelings can be  one -side or on both sides. To be honest, many times it is on both sides, but one person is usually in denial.
  3. Still sleeping around and causing confusion. Sex with the ex can be a big “no,no”.
  4. Or you flat out can’t stand each other. So raising a kid together is now another burden and you simply wish the other person would get lost.

Well co-parenting is not something that can be forced or suddenly changed. Depending on how the situation ended, that usually dictates the dynamic of the relationship. It is rough and some days it takes the energy out of you. There will be ups and downs, good days and bad ones.

So yes, it is ok and you do not have to be picture perfect. Do not text you ex and expect them to want to do a photoshoot for social media. Just to prove that you are both mature individuals raising your kids.

Let it flow and pray about it. Be your best self and realize that time will heal everything. Things will change and force people to change.  I am all for broadcasting healthy examples and trying to promote peace and prosperity. However, I am all for people being honest about where they are in life, and not feeling judged or belittled because their family structure does not resemble another.

So live life on your terms and be able to accept where you are at that moment.

Trust me, it will bring you peace and worse case scenario, you and your ex are never able to meet eye to eye. You can be satisfied knowing that you tried, but able to accept that you can’t control anyone, but you.

And honestly, there is more to life than social media facades.

From a Mom, who is just being honest…

Tahnee Cole

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