Remember the bitter baby mama, yeah that’s what you called her.

You first saw her in the grocery store, right? She was standing there yelling at her kids, using all types of profanity.

“Don’t touch a motha…” Is how she started her first sentence. Telling her three kids to keep their hands to themselves.

She looked tired and worn out, but you didn’t give a damn. Even though you saw her five year old touch the M&Ms 10 times, after she said not to, you judge her. Harshly. You said she was a pathetic mama to talk to her kids like that.

And when you overheard her saying she was a single mama, you rolled your eyes.

You said to yourself, “how could she take it out on her kids? They didn’t ask to be here. Nobody should have to suffer behind her poor choices.

Another bitter baby mama.

You looked down upon her with disgust, as you guarded your children as if you were blocking them from some contagious rare disease. You watched her struggle to carry her baby, push the cart with several grocery bags and walk in her raggedy high heel shoes.

You even joked with your partner and said she was probably on the government’s assistance. She probably bought her groceries with her EBT card. You didn’t know that woman, but you threw so much dirt on her name you would have thought it was planting season.

Then you watched her grabbed all her groceries and walk to the bus stop. A baby on her arm, one barely walking and an older child trying to carry as many groceries as he could. He was filled with shame too.

“These kids deserve a mom they could be proud!” Is what you had the nerve to say.

You were looking from the outside in, thinking you had it all figured out. You saw her rolling her eyes defensively sitting with her three kids at the bus stop.

You stared at her and said, “How could she be so stupid” Nobody told her to open her legs and have kids before she got married. Why wasn’t she on birth control?

You even said she is probably one of those women who won’t let the man see his kids, put him on child support and hate any new chick he dates. The drama type. The bitter baby mama type.

You gathered that all in one trip to the store. Never spoke to this woman one time. Didn’t even know her name.

 

Well, Fast-forward…

It is funny how life flips. When you got home one day, the love of your life let you know that he wanted to move on.

After 15 yrs of playing house, he confessed he had not been happy in years, He wanted to find himself (whatever the hell that means) and you didn’t do it for him anymore.

He left and never looked back. You called to ask if he would drop money off or the kids, but he wouldn’t respond. Now you are contemplating on putting him on child support.

The kids are hungry and you have to go to the grocery store. Taking them to the store without help is not something that you are used to.

The trip to the store is a disaster.

Your kids are crying and grabbing items, the people at the back of the line are giving you the same looks you gave, well the bitter baby mama.

After the grocery store chaos, you sit down in your car exhausted. Putting groceries in the trunk and strapping kids in by yourself is no joke.  You open up your IG for a quick second and you see your ex with his new woman, you are furious.

Of all days, your car won’t start. Nobody can give you a ride, so you have to wait for triple A.

Now you are waiting for the tow truck, with crying hungry kids in the back. With tears in your eyes.

You stare intently at the same bus stop that sat the mom you judged. You finally felt remorse for your ignorance, you felt sorry. You became exactly who you judged. Finally, you understood her pain and sympathized for her story.

This made your understand the importance of never ever looking down or judging anyone, because the tables can turn.

As you focused on your kids, and the anger your felt in your heart, you realized that now you are also viewed as the Bitter Baby Mama…

Everyone has a story.

Tahnee Cole