BLACK PUMPS PINK SLIPPERS

It’s nothing new to me. I mean at one point I was getting together with one of my best college buddies for cocktails. Happy hour was the best thing to do, but that was after making arrangements for who would pick up or watch the kids, trying to sneak in quickies and getting stuck at work to finish up one last project. Then sometimes canceling and having to reschedule.

“Can you meet me at The Cheesecake Factory?” Those words were like,  “you’ve just won a millions dollars”!!  I mean let me not exaggerate, but getting together with my adult friends is so necessary. My other professional mom friends especially. They feel me. They understand when I have to cancel at the last minute and they understand me when I cry during our tipsy girls night out. They get my exhaustion. They relate to the love I have for my family and my babies, but they also understand when I am f*cking tired.

I absolutely love being a mom, but I am human. There are times that I just want to be free. No meals on heels. No teaching. No referee moments. Just me sliding down a pole with my girls, drinking mimosas and being plain little me,Tahnee. The balance of still feeling like me is everything. No demand from work or home. That is the value of having a social life.

However, most moms don’t even know what that is. The strong roles of mom and career life makes it hard to see where personal and professional life begins and ends.

I was making it a habit to create a social life for 2020. It was my goal. Then the Coronavirus showed up like, “nah, heffa”!

 This pandemic has made something that was already damn near unachievable, a distant dream. The fear of never being able to be around your friends,  but to also be comfortable around them. I thought about my best friend who is a nurse. Would I go in to hug her like I usually do?  

Unfortunately, many moms are already distant from their social life. They have traded their wild nights for housework. The majority of our days when trying to get out with our friends or significant others depends on: finding reliable babysitters and getting on a schedule that is conducive to both parties. We have side hustles, varying schedules and our kids activities. In other words, we are just busy. 

What are we doing now? Well, just recently I have learned to get creative. I’ve been spending some time with my friends on Zoom. Interacting on social media via LIVES. More phone conversations versus texting. I’m getting closer to my mom tribe via Instagram. We are sharing recipes and DIYS to improve our homes. We are drinking Mimosas over Zoom and learning new skills like, gardening.

And as far as dating, Netflix and chill has gone to a whole different level, but it’s acceptable now.

Tahnee Cole