Helping My Kids Cope With Changes

Some days I obsess about how I am going to work through my work at home days. But lately, I have taken a moment to think about my kids and what they are going through. It was all fun in the beginning, staying home and not going to school. Summer breaks are fun and kids look forward to not having homework assignments. Yet, at some point they miss their teachers, their friends and their routine. As a busy mom, I had to take a second and talk to my children about these changes.

I want to help them cope even if they were not verbally letting me know…

Some days they communicated with their body language. Some days I could see the fear in their eyes that things were changing and not for the better.

Would they be stuck in the house forever?

Especially, my five year old. He will be starting his first year of school and it will not be a normal year. I have been looking forward to sending him off to Kindergarten, but unfortunately life is not the same. We are not even sure if he will be attending school or just doing virtual learning as of now. It seems that I will be opting for the virtual option.

Through this challenging time here are a few of tips I use to help my kids cope with the changes. They might help you and your family!

1.Talk it out– Talk to your children about what’s going on. Explain to them the dangers and the precautious. Even explain to them why you are deciding on virtual learning if you are selecting that option. Let them express how they feel. This is the time to put all concerns, frustrations and suggestions together to help the school year go as smooth as possible.

2. Try to keep it normal as possible- I am still buying my kids new backpacks and school supplies, regardless. Kids gets excited about new school supplies, backpacks and lunch boxes. Even if they stay home and learn virtually I still want to provide normality.

3. Let them know that it is ok to feel disappointed- We sometimes get upset with our kids when they get disappointed. Especially, when it directly relates to something out of our control. Why? Because we feel helpless. We don’t want to disappoint our kids, but we have to allow them to be upset. We have to show them coping methods to help them get through this.  This a battle that they have to deal with and life itself will have many obstacles, and they need to learn how to deal with disappointments. They also have to learn to adapt to change. Allowing them to feel will help them heal.

4. Stay connected- Let your kids Facetime their friends and teachers. Allow them to interact with people on the daily so they won’t feel isolated. It is scary to interact in person  because of the risk, but it is ok to find creative ways to keep your kids interacting with friends and family!

5. Keep it fun- Look up creative projects and plans, share them with your kids to keep them motivated about the school year. My latest project is to create a media center in my home, specifically for my children to work through their virtually learning. I will be showing that to you in the Fall!

I hope all parents are confident in whatever decision they make for educating their kids.  I wish you and your babies safety and many blessings for this school year!

 

Tahnee Cole

 

The kids are about to wake up…

I don’t know what was putting me off and out my zone more, the headboard hitting the wall or his loud mouth. Should I stick my panties in his mouth or just be done?

“What’s wrong?” He said catching my vibe

”We are getting too loud.” I said in the nicest tone possible.

Switching positions so he could catch the headboard, but nothing was changing. The squeaking of the bed, moans escaping my mouth and him doing what most men do, slap my ass and talk sh*t.

Luckily, since it is the summertime fans are blowing and the air conditioning is drowning out most of the noise.

That’s sex, that’s life. It’s all good until you are sexing a busy career mom like me who is thinking about the kids, what her work day is looking like the next day and when you are going to get off her.

I wanted it too, but the anxiety is present. This moment is supposed to be pure relaxation and pure ecstasy.

You would think that it would help that I am  looking at a fine man. This man delivering all this pleasure is tall, dark, handsome, tattoos, well-endowed, but here I am in mommy mode.

See, I have a thing about having sex with my kids in the house. Makes me feel ratchet, disrespectful, just flat out weird, but same time new man means new needs. It was all fun and games when the kids were away, but what about when he needs it and the kids are home???

It was one thing when it’s the kids dad, but another man felt weird. So many moms constantly suppress their needs, because obviously the kids come first.

I always want to set boundaries with how I am as a mother and woman in my home.

So here I am, can’t even let go because I’m scared any minute I’m going to hear a knock at the door. Especially, from my five year old who finds his way in my bed at 3 am on most mornings.
But mama gotta have a life too, Jodi. Mama is still young and wants to enjoy herself before she falls over.

It is amazing that sexual liberation becomes a distant dream. Not only because of the busy demand of being a career mom. The limitations of your sexy because you are a mom. The parts of your body that make you feel insecure post baby. Or even parts of your body that you no longer identify as sexual.  For example,  many moms see their breast as non sexual because they have been used for nourishment. I’m not going to lie I had an issue with my breast being touched after nursing two kids. It felt weird.

So in order to even gain a healthy outlook on sex, most moms have to look at it as a must, apart of self care and a vital part of life.

You deserve a sex life. You should enjoy your sex life. You just have to make it work. Be considerate of the needs of others, but also your needs and wants. Put your face in the pillow, turn the music up, but by all means get it in!! Especially before the kids wake up…