I did not stress about Thanksgiving. I will not stress about Christmas.

I refuse to stress myself, especially with all that I have been through this year. Holidays are supposed to be for enjoyment. You should not be stressed. Holidays are mainly meant for reflection, cheer, family and memories. With the pandemic taking lives, bringing changes to routine and the economy. The primary focus should be the value of life. The pandemic has forced me to focus on what really matters and to take nothing for granted. What matters most to me is family and memories.

I made sure that when it came to Thanksgiving I did not stress. The same will take place for Christmas. If you celebrate those holidays then you know that they can become stressful. You got to make sure that the food and the gifts are perfect It is as if, we are constantly in a competition with the last year. With Covid knocking everyone down a tad bit, we need to put our focus on things that will not make us stress. The memories I make with my kids are so important to me. The simplest memories by far always mean the most. Today, I want to share with you five tips on how I make sure I do not stress during the holidays.

5 TIPS ON STRESS FREE HOLIDAYS!

  1. We gon’ eat Yeah, straight like that. That means, I am not stressing over food. I am not spending long hours in the kitchen because I cook everyday, all day. The cooking has increased even more since my kids are mostly homeschooling. People spend Thanksgiving stressing about food and it can truly take away from the meaning of the Holiday. My kids ate and we are blessed to have food, but I am not going to go crazy trying to be a chef. Nor do I expect anyone else stressing themselves out. My mom and I worked out Thanksgiving together, but we did not make a big thing out of it. It was more like a traditional Sunday dinner. Keep it simple, keep it cute!
  2. I help others– Giving back always keeps you grounded and makes you remember the true meaning of the Holidays. There is nothing more real than seeing people struggle with real life. Meanwhile, your spoiled ass is complaining about what you want to eat. There are people who do not have a choice and we are complaining over choices. In order to keep yourself grounded, we must always put ourselves in a position to help others. Give old coats or buy a coat and donate it to a coat drive. Donate toys to a shelter. Help prepare food for a food bank. Do something to make you remember what life is about. Count your blessings.
  3. We make memories and create new traditions– Covid has made many of us more creative. Many places we love to go to is now closed. Plus, we just don’t feel comfortable going to places we use to, because we don’t want to put ourselves at risk of catching Covid. The holidays is for creating new memories and traditions. Being creative will make your creative memories that can last a lifetime and become regular traditions. Make some holiday treats, crafts, decorate the house or come up with a totally unique way to celebrate.
  4. I am buying meaningful gifts– Some people just want to have 800 boxes wrapped under the tree . It makes your look rich right? Now you are broke because you bought six hundred toys for your kids. Meanwhile, they can’t even fit in your home. Plus, they will collect dust because they don’t even play with them. Too many to catch their attention. Stop that now! You are stressed because you are living above your means. A bunch of gifts do not equate to love or wealth. Some of the most wealthy people buy their family bathrobes, meanwhile the broke people are buying Gucci socks! Honestly, the older I get, the more meaningful my gift-giving.
  5. I Don’t do, what I don’t want to do– Parties and events can stress you. Even before Covid I had this mentality. If I don’t want to go somewhere I kindly decline the invite. There are still some people having events despite Covid and if you don’t feel comfortable, don’t go. Explain to them your concerns and if they don’t understand, peace! When you feel stressed about doing things you don’t want, it takes away the joy from the holiday. I say do what makes you feel good. Even family events, don’t feel compelled to go in environments that steal your peace.

I hope that you can use some of these tips to make your life more enjoyable. Share some tips that you use with me. I would love to hear traditions, tips or even holiday horror stories, LOL. Thanks for reading!

Tahnee Cole

Career Mom Motivator!

After Work… Unwind

My music selection was Toni Braxton. Matter of fact, it was her latest featuring HER called “Gotta Move On”. How befitting to how I felt. I had cut off a man who I was on the verge of being in love with last week. He was an emotional liability. To be all the way honest, I am emotionally handicap. I can’t feel the way I use to. Nor, can I contain another persons insecurities while trying to reach my goals, survive during this pandemic and raise solid successful kids.

I needed a spiritual and physical detox.

I had my phone on low. Since my kids were away I couldn’t put it on do not disturb. I laid back in the tub and let the bubbles touch my ears. Candles lit, darkness and wine.

Just me, myself and I.

I had hit 35 and refused to settle for less. Inadequate relationships whether platonic or romantic, was a hell no for me. Hell, I wasn’t even eating anything that wasn’t bring me satisfaction. My expectations were high and I wasn’t letting that shit change for anything.

As I set back I thought, damn, I need to do this more often.

It felt good to relax. Of course my phone ranged. I glanced to make sure it wasn’t important. it wasn’t. I closed my eyes and drifted into relaxation again.

On most days I was moving around. Cooking and cleaning like a slave. Trying to make sure the house was blogger mom perfect. It felt damn good to unwind. I deserved it. I needed it. My mind, body and soul had been craving it. Why was it so difficult to put myself first? Why had I got to a point where I felt guilty about doing for me? Why was I so damn concerned about everyone’s needs, but my own? When it came to fulfilling my needs, I was hesitant.

All of these thoughts in the tub. To some people a simple bath is just a bath. To me it was as sacred as a baptism. The Most High provided us with water. Water is the most powerful force on earth. Being immersed in this water was providing me major healing. It was revealing to me how dehydrated I was. Not in a sense that my thirst was quenched. But that my physical body needed to unwind. To release. To replenish. To be fulfilled.

The need to unwind after work was definitely needed…