Hyperemesis Gravidarum

“This ain’t no regular morning sickness. I’m sick all damn day.” I said frustrated.

I couldn’t get out the tub. Work started at 7:30 am and I was still in the tub at 7:10 am. I was crying because I knew I was going to have an awful day. I would be throwing up all day and then given extra work which added more stress on me. I would be taking trips to the bathroom to throw up my insides as discreetly as possible, wash my face and then return to do it again. My days were rough.

My son’s father was staring at me. I could tell he felt helpless, there was nothing he could do. I knew there was nothing he could do, but he was the only person I could vent my frustrations to. I mean hell, it was his baby I was carrying. I looked down at my bump and I immediately started feeling sick. I barely made it out the tub and into the toilet bowl. He stood behind me to hold my hair back. I can say a lot of things about my son’s father, but one thing I can never say is that he deserted me during my pregnancy. He was at every doctor appointment and with me every step of the way. He held my spit cups, he wiped my tears, he bought all my crazy cravings, rubbed my back every night. I suffered from sciatica.

I didn’t know what hyperemesis was. I thought this was just an unlucky curse for pregnant women. I thought there was something wrong with me. I was also sick with Heaven, but after my first trimester I was back to normal. With Jr., my sickness lasted longer. I was extremely sick. I was passing out at work. None of this was a good mix for a corporate America working mom. I attributed most of the ongoing sickness to being a tad bit older (29) and then finding out I was having another gender.

On top of the physical chaos, I was working for a company that did not understand that productivity was going to be low when a woman was throwing up every twenty minutes. I wasn’t the same worker they had knew. I was a new woman, pregnant with her second child and not feeling her best. My life had changed and I felt isolated. I did my absolute best, but it wasn’t enough. As I look back now, I pat myself on the back for what I did. I salute myself for coming back to work after being in Emergency on liquids to help my dehydration from the night before. I salute myself for not cursing people out for asking me to extend myself beyond my pregnant capabilities.

However, as a mom advocate, I will never tell a mentee to accept what I accepted. I will never tell a woman to extend herself beyond her capabilities just to stay employed. I tell women to run at the first sight of ill treatment in the workplace during pregnancy, if you possible. Especially, if HR is also in alignment with the improper treatment. I always say choose yourself first. Never stress or drain yourself out trying to do what you are incapable of doing.

Hyperemesis is a real struggle to deal with and needs to be discuss more. I will never forget about my experience. Despite the circumstances, I was blessed with beautiful babies. I am proud to overcome my obstacles and share my journey with other career moms to encourage them to keep striving.

Tahnee Cole

the WAHM and SAHM confusion…

Ditch the WAHM being a SAHM CONFUSION. 

Since March I have been working remote due to the pandemic. It has been a mix of pleasure and testing my patience.

Due to personal and professional time constraints, I have learned that I can’t do it all and I’m content with that realization.

While I respect and commend moms who stay at home, because it is no simple task raising children all day. There is a huge difference between being a work-at-home mom and a stay-at-home mom. It seems easy to confuse the two.


Working at home with your children is different. I had an issue with a teacher due to me having to explain to her that I couldn’t be as present with my five year old son during a zoom lesson. I manage a high profile portfolio that requires meetings and my attention. Most of my meetings at work are arranged and facilitated by me so I have to be attentive. I tried to make arrangements for Zoom lessons to be at a more convenient time for working parents, such as lunch blocks, but it wasn’t possible. Luckily, my son was able to attend school in person and that resolved that issue.

It is as if, people tend to forget that working remote is working, but just not at the designated office. I have even had to explain to family members to not disturb me during my work hours. 

It is possible that work-at-home moms will feel extreme stress, because being at home will make you feel like a stay-at-home mom. You might even feel as though you should be showing your children more attention. While it allows you more access to your children, you still have a job to do and are doing double work. You have to make sure that you are not over extending yourself. It is important to establish rules for yourself and your family so that they understand that there are work requirements.

I am excited my kids are off for summer break soon. I am reading for vacations and no back and forth trips to school, but I will be making sure that I am not stressing myself out. This summer I will be doing major snack and meal prepping. You know that kids will eat all day if you allow them to do so. So I will be trying my best not to do too much unnecessary cooking and buying. I will be setting boundaries for when the kids can step into my workspace. My kids are usually good about doing their own thing, but there are times when I have to remind them. I will also make sure that at least a few times out the week they will be involved in some summer activities.

Being a WAHM can be challenging, but with preparation and positivity it can work out fine. Keep pushing #WAHMS !

Confidence is Key : Ways i ENCOURAGE and motivate my black son.

In a world, where young black men are often downplayed as thugs, irresponsible baby daddies, drug dealers etc. It is important to teach our children about the images that are not often on the news. The positive images. Black people are thriving and there are many positive representations of “black boy joy” and “the black man can” to inspire our sons to be their greatest self. However, many times those positive images are hidden behind all the negative depictions. We must obviously educate our young kings about what is necessary to survive, but even more so on how to thrive.

Let me tell you about 5 ways that I am encouraging my son to be his greatest self. As well as, to celebrate himself with confidence!

BOOKS …

I love the fact that there are many positive books for young black boys. Some of my favorite books come from Hey Carter Books by Dr. Thomishia Booker. These books teach my son to be comfortable and proud to be in his beautiful brown skin. They show positive representations of strong, gifted young boys. I adore the message presented to young children. My son is five and we have been reading these books since the beginning of the pandemic. We end our day with a book to help encourage him through tough school weeks and to keep reminding him of his greatness.

KNOWLEGE OF PEOPLE WHO CHANGED THE NARRATIVE…

I think it is so important to show my son examples of people who did the unthinkable. Showing him people who beat the odds. Life is not going to be easy and there will be obstacles. Showing your child a pretty perfect picture can often set them up for disappointments and defeat when they enter the real world. Instead, I show my son that obstacles can build character and that he can conquer the toughest of situations.

I also spent some time explaining to my son that even though I am his number one support system that it can be done without me. I try to teach my kids to rely on themselves, because we never know when we will only have ourselves. We must believe in ourselves when others do not. I also let them know that there are people who were successful without support so they will be a force to be reckon because they actually have support.

Lately, my son has been showing an interest in Science, but said other kids in the class thought he was weird for wanting to be a Scientist. I explained to my son that there are so many benefits of picking an unpopular purpose driven career choice. It is so easy to push our sons to athletic careers or the normal doctor, lawyer etc. These careers are also great, but I let my son know that it is possible to create a lane for himself and be damn good at it.

Extracurricular Activities…

Not only is it a great idea to keep your son in extracurricular activities for his health and wellness. It is a way to keep your child’s mind occupied with positive activities. Sports help with teamwork, leadership, focus, discipline and many other great values that will keep your child stay the course. Both my children are also following in their moms footsteps and wants to play musical instruments. I think it is very important to keep my children focused on their strengths and the positive talents that they can contribute to the world.

Positive males in his life…

My son is blessed to have a good active father in his life. He sees his dad multiple times a week and every other weekend. They have bonded since birth and he is pretty strict on how he raises Jr. I trust that he has Jeremey’s best interest at heart, and will keep him on the right path. Him having men in his life that show him how to value hard work, respect and morals will keep him focused. Many of the men in his life, dad, grandfathers, uncles, etc.. are hard-workers so he knows that nothing will just be given to him, but earned. I will also make sure that he is provided with mentors when it comes to different areas of his life. Mentors that are outside of the family that can help him with guiding him through his personal and professional life choices.

Positive self talk, Affirmations and compliments…

I am the mom to hype up her kids. I am also the mom to yell when I get upset, but I am learning that there is so much power in what you say. Giving your children positive reinforcement and positive affirmations will build them up. In a world where they will meet people who will deliberately cut them down, the last thing they need is you saying bad things about them. I definitely think this is something you have to work on daily, because as parents sometimes we tend to always correct and point out flaws, but we must focus on our children’s strengths. Especially, our young black boys who will always have to try a little Harder.

Tahnee Cole