Stop Stereotyping Career Moms… (Don’t play with us)!

I recently seen a post about career moms not making good homemakers. This led me to create this post. It is assumed that if you have a career and you are a mother, you are more prone to neglect every other aspect of your life, bullshit. I even loss interest in this creators content after seeing the negative post about career moms. I started to single her out and tell her to speak for herself. All I could think was, “Bitch it’s 2021, Women are raising businesses and babies.”

I am learning that there are many insecure people, and they will push off their inadequacies amongst others to validate why they cannot accomplish what others simply can. Due to their laziness and insecurities, they find it impossible to believe that women like me have the zest to fulfill many roles. Especially, since they are barely maintaining the one role they are supposed to be managing. These women are still waiting for a man to save them and discrediting women who are getting off their ass and getting it themselves. In a perfect world, we could sit at home, barefoot and pregnant with the “ideal husband” taking care of us. However, that it not the reality for many women.

And even if that were the case, would we all be content with that position? Are all women meant to stay home and take care of children without an identity? Should we give up on our dreams and aspirations because of our gender? Or the gender boundaries and roles we are supposed to fit in? If that was simply the truth, why did some woman break that cycle and desire to do more?

Do I agree that it is challenging being a career woman and maintaining a home, yes. Yet, it is far from impossible. It’s called prioritizing and strategizing. Honestly being a homemaker has less to do with your occupation, either you have it or you do not. Either you will do it or you will not. Maintaining a home, creating meals and being a mother takes effort. If there is anything that you desire to do, you will put the effort in to do what needs to be done. I go above and beyond for my children. My career doesn’t take top preference over my family, but it is also apart of why I am an ambitious mother. I support my children to go after whatever it is that they desire to do in life by example.

Although, I respect full time SAHMs and homemakers, I go hard for my mothers who are balancing career life and their responsibilities in the home. I can only speak for myself, but I keep a well maintain home and nutritious meals on my kids plates. I make the bread and I butter it. So before you speak on career moms and what we can and cannot do, analyze your own life.

The fact that people can generalize a group of people due to their ignorance or insecurities doesn’t amaze, but amuses me. I have read so many negative comments about mothers who continue to pursue their professional passions while continuing to maintain their homes and nurturing relationships with their kids.

 For the people who say it cannot be done, or cannot be done successfully. I have proved them wrong every single time. Can I get a purrr… or whatever the young folks say!!!

Tahnee Cole

Uncomfortable conversations

My daughter was amazed that even at 13 she could possibly be approached with offers of sex, drugs and liquor.
One day you are playing with Barbie, the next you are built better than Barbie and getting attention from the opposite sex.
Growing up can bring on a mix of emotions for parents and children.

I am thankful my daughter doesn’t want to grow up too fast, but I have to warn her of the kids who are anxious to try things they are not mature enough to handle.

Dealing with a teen can be tricky. It’s important to establish trust and a strong relationship with your teen. You want to be open but remain respectful. You want them to be able to talk to you while being respectful of your place in their life. You want to guide them as a parent, but discuss topics with them like a friend or mentor. You want to put the rules down without sounding like a Judge or overbearing.
Hell, we have all been teens. We have all made choices our parents may not have agreed with, but most of us can say that those disagreements early on gave us more insight than we will admit. We realized our parents were right, regardless if we want to admit the truth. Now, we are scared as hell that some of our karma will come through our kids.

To be honest, I was a pretty good kid, honor students, not sneaky, stayed out of trouble, but like any other teen I enjoyed my independence and found happiness in making my own choices. The guidance I had through both parents allowed me to think before I made choices. No I wasn’t perfect, but at least I had common sense. Even when I made unfavorable choices, I was able to take accountability and do better the next time.

As I embark on this journey with my daughter, I have been making an effort to keep an open relationship, explain to her critical thinking and give her insight on why she should and should not make certain choices.

Even though some conversations are difficult to have , it is best to lay everything on the table so she will be prepared to handle any situation. Keeping our kids naïve in hopes they will just ignore the chaos will leave them defenseless and more prone to making naïve choices.

As Heaven grows into the intelligent, young boss that she is, she can always depend on me to keep it real and to put her best interest a top priority!

Sending all my parents of teens positivity as they face many challenges!!!

Tahnee Cole

Motivating my Teenager with braces

This year has been dedicated to staying on top of health maintenance.

Due to covid, we were all behind on our dentist visits so I invested in a waterpik. But there is something about seeing your dentist and orthodontist. This year, Heaven received her braces. She was so excited, since her gap has been her biggest insecurity.

I wanted my daughter to be content with her smile so I shoved out the dollars to get her teeth corrected. With that being said, tremendous diet changes have to be made. We already knew gum was out of the question, but we didn’t consider things like corn on the cob or Texas toast. Then there were some tough blows like popcorn which is Heaven’s favorite. She now has to replace popcorn with Pirate booty.

We have learned that it takes a team to help a family member on her journey. So here are 5 tips that we use to help keep Heaven encouraged during her braces journey!

  • Follow the list- We are not cutting corners. If the dentist or orthodontist says “NO”, there is a reason and we stay away from it. We want Heaven to feel good while wearing her braces with as little discomfort as possible. Eating the wrong foods and creating bad habits can cause harm to her. We do not want a diet that will slow the process down or cause issues with her braces.
  • Find alternatives- For every little thing that Heaven cannot eat, there is something that she can eat. Daily, we are replacing some of the junk food with healthier alternatives that will keep her teeth strong and healthy. It is not easy giving up your favorite foods, but finding something else that you like can be a plus as well.
  • Don’t tease- Heaven has a younger brother who does not have braces, so there are things that they use to enjoy together that she can no longer eat. I encourage Lj to not tease her and to not eat things in front of her that she cannot eat. This does not always work, but I will continue pushing this so that Heaven will not feel tempted to revert to pre-braces life, LOL!
  • Remind her of the goal- When Heaven is feeling discouraged or disappointed about changes that have to be made. I remind her that she wanted the braces to correct her smile, and that this sacrifice temporarily on some of the foods that she loves will be worth it.
  • Stay on top of the progression- Heaven’s teeth are already moving beautifully and her gap is closing. Seeing the changes only motivates her to keep going. The positive reinforcement and seeing results reminds her that she is on the right track and that we will support her every step of the way!