Helping My Kids Cope With Changes

Some days I obsess about how I am going to work through my work at home days. But lately, I have taken a moment to think about my kids and what they are going through. It was all fun in the beginning, staying home and not going to school. Summer breaks are fun and kids look forward to not having homework assignments. Yet, at some point they miss their teachers, their friends and their routine. As a busy mom, I had to take a second and talk to my children about these changes.

I want to help them cope even if they were not verbally letting me know…

Some days they communicated with their body language. Some days I could see the fear in their eyes that things were changing and not for the better.

Would they be stuck in the house forever?

Especially, my five year old. He will be starting his first year of school and it will not be a normal year. I have been looking forward to sending him off to Kindergarten, but unfortunately life is not the same. We are not even sure if he will be attending school or just doing virtual learning as of now. It seems that I will be opting for the virtual option.

Through this challenging time here are a few of tips I use to help my kids cope with the changes. They might help you and your family!

1.Talk it out– Talk to your children about what’s going on. Explain to them the dangers and the precautious. Even explain to them why you are deciding on virtual learning if you are selecting that option. Let them express how they feel. This is the time to put all concerns, frustrations and suggestions together to help the school year go as smooth as possible.

2. Try to keep it normal as possible- I am still buying my kids new backpacks and school supplies, regardless. Kids gets excited about new school supplies, backpacks and lunch boxes. Even if they stay home and learn virtually I still want to provide normality.

3. Let them know that it is ok to feel disappointed- We sometimes get upset with our kids when they get disappointed. Especially, when it directly relates to something out of our control. Why? Because we feel helpless. We don’t want to disappoint our kids, but we have to allow them to be upset. We have to show them coping methods to help them get through this.  This a battle that they have to deal with and life itself will have many obstacles, and they need to learn how to deal with disappointments. They also have to learn to adapt to change. Allowing them to feel will help them heal.

4. Stay connected- Let your kids Facetime their friends and teachers. Allow them to interact with people on the daily so they won’t feel isolated. It is scary to interact in person  because of the risk, but it is ok to find creative ways to keep your kids interacting with friends and family!

5. Keep it fun- Look up creative projects and plans, share them with your kids to keep them motivated about the school year. My latest project is to create a media center in my home, specifically for my children to work through their virtually learning. I will be showing that to you in the Fall!

I hope all parents are confident in whatever decision they make for educating their kids.  I wish you and your babies safety and many blessings for this school year!

Tahnee Cole

The kids are about to wake up…

I don’t know what was putting me off and out my zone more, the headboard hitting the wall or his loud mouth. Should I stick my panties in his mouth or just be done?

“What’s wrong?” He said catching my vibe

”We are getting too loud.” I said in the nicest tone possible.

Switching positions so he could catch the headboard, but nothing was changing. The squeaking of the bed, moans escaping my mouth and him doing what most men do, slap my ass and talk sh*t.

Luckily, since it is the summertime fans are blowing and the air conditioning is drowning out most of the noise.

That’s sex, that’s life. It’s all good until you are sexing a busy career mom like me who is thinking about the kids, what her work day is looking like the next day and when you are going to get off her.

I wanted it too, but the anxiety is present. This moment is supposed to be pure relaxation and pure ecstasy.

You would think that it would help that I am  looking at a fine man. This man delivering all this pleasure is tall, dark, handsome, tattoos, well-endowed, but here I am in mommy mode.

See, I have a thing about having sex with my kids in the house. Makes me feel ratchet, disrespectful, just flat out weird, but same time new man means new needs. It was all fun and games when the kids were away, but what about when he needs it and the kids are home???

It was one thing when it’s the kids dad, but another man felt weird. So many moms constantly suppress their needs, because obviously the kids come first.

I always want to set boundaries with how I am as a mother and woman in my home.

So here I am, can’t even let go because I’m scared any minute I’m going to hear a knock at the door. Especially, from my five year old who finds his way in my bed at 3 am on most mornings.
But mama gotta have a life too, Jodi. Mama is still young and wants to enjoy herself before she falls over.

It is amazing that sexual liberation becomes a distant dream. Not only because of the busy demand of being a career mom. The limitations of your sexy because you are a mom. The parts of your body that make you feel insecure post baby. Or even parts of your body that you no longer identify as sexual.  For example,  many moms see their breast as non sexual because they have been used for nourishment. I’m not going to lie I had an issue with my breast being touched after nursing two kids. It felt weird.

So in order to even gain a healthy outlook on sex, most moms have to look at it as a must, apart of self care and a vital part of life.

You deserve a sex life. You should enjoy your sex life. You just have to make it work. Be considerate of the needs of others, but also your needs and wants. Put your face in the pillow, turn the music up, but by all means get it in!! Especially before the kids wake up…

“Shit, we’ve been social distancing.” -Career Moms

It’s nothing new to me. I mean at one point I was getting together with one of my best college buddies for cocktails. Happy hour was the best thing to do, but that was after making arrangements for who would pick up or watch the kids, trying to sneak in quickies and getting stuck at work to finish up one last project. Then sometimes canceling and having to reschedule.

“Can you meet me at The Cheesecake Factory?” Those words were like,  “you’ve just won a millions dollars”!!  I mean let me not exaggerate, but getting together with my adult friends is so necessary. My other professional mom friends especially. They feel me. They understand when I have to cancel at the last minute and they understand me when I cry during our tipsy girls night out. They get my exhaustion. They relate to the love I have for my family and my babies, but they also understand when I am f*cking tired.

I absolutely love being a mom, but I am human. There are times that I just want to be free. No meals on heels. No teaching. No referee moments. Just me sliding down a pole with my girls, drinking mimosas and being plain little me,Tahnee. The balance of still feeling like me is everything. No demand from work or home. That is the value of having a social life.

However, most moms don’t even know what that is. The strong roles of mom and career life makes it hard to see where personal and professional life begins and ends.

I was making it a habit to create a social life for 2020. It was my goal. Then the Coronavirus showed up like, “nah, heffa”!

 This pandemic has made something that was already damn near unachievable, a distant dream. The fear of never being able to be around your friends,  but to also be comfortable around them. I thought about my best friend who is a nurse. Would I go in to hug her like I usually do?  

Unfortunately, many moms are already distant from their social life. They have traded their wild nights for housework. The majority of our days when trying to get out with our friends or significant others depends on: finding reliable babysitters and getting on a schedule that is conducive to both parties. We have side hustles, varying schedules and our kids activities. In other words, we are just busy. 

What are we doing now? Well, just recently I have learned to get creative. I’ve been spending some time with my friends on Zoom. Interacting on social media via LIVES. More phone conversations versus texting. I’m getting closer to my mom tribe via Instagram. We are sharing recipes and DIYS to improve our homes. We are drinking Mimosas over Zoom and learning new skills like, gardening.

And as far as dating, Netflix and chill has gone to a whole different level, but it’s acceptable now.

Tahnee Cole

Preteen Fashion?

Yes, I am also a girl mom and honey, when I say I struggle with finding my baby girl summer clothes, that is an understatement.

I usually end up buying her a bunch of summer dresses, joggers, and biker leggings to wear under long tank tops.

Her style is still girly and cute, she isn’t looking for Cardi B type clothing. We love Cardi B over here, but Heaven is 12.

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However, I feel as though shorts and tops now are so short. We basically shop everywhere and my go to stores are Childrens Place  and Justice .

Yet, it seems like whenever I am looking for shorts and cute summer tops, they are all not aged appropriate. The shorts are too short and the tops are way to cropped. The crop tops are cute, but I think they are a little too much for a twelve year old.

It is even harder as our girls gain more curves and it makes the outfits look even more revealing.

There was a shirt that Heaven wanted from Justice. I can tell by the look of it online that it will fit like a midriff, but it was super cute and bedazzled. I purchased it and we will have to see how it fits.

I figures to fix the belly being exposed too much, I will pair it with a cute matching tank top under.

I will update you when the shirt arrives.

Are you struggling with finding your preteen clothing or your children in general?

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Outfits from Children’s Place

With #mommyhood it is never a boring day!

Tahnee Cole

 

7 things I learned being a WAHM (Work At Home Mom) + Homeschooling during the Pandemic

I’m not going to lie…

I have always felt that WAHM (work at home moms) and SAHM (stay at home moms), had it EASIER than moms who actually had to work outside of the home. Not easy, but EASIER.

Yes, there are definitely perks to not having to commute and being with your children all day. Especially, if you are a WAHM who is also homeschooling.

But I realized this is HARDT ( Yes, HARD with a T) LOL!

Let me tell you why I wrote this post. I am currently at home with my 12 year old (yes a preteen) , my preschooler and my puppy.  I am trying to create an accurate report for a conference call that I am facilitating. Not just a regular meeting, a meeting with Several Account Managers to discuss financial debt for a very high profile business. I manage a financial portfolio for 170 customers.

Meanwhile, I am telling my 4 year old son that he CANNOT have another popsicle ( it is his 4th one).

I am bargaining with him to be quiet, so I end up agreeing to buying him a PS5 (when it comes out). Just so he will sit down and work on his alphabets on his tablet quietly.

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I have to WORK.

I have to be PRODUCTIVE

&

I still have to MOM!!

Our puppy Apollo joins in the chaos by whimpering. He’s pissed that I had to lock him in his crate for a few minutes to calm him down from his mid morning zoomies. Plus, I am yelling at my 12 year old to get up so she will not miss her Zoom lessons (currently all learning is virtual).

Yes, we are in the middle of a Pandemic and quarantine life, but either way this WAHM life is challenging.  I had a conversation with a homeschool/wahm and she said it takes major trial and error to get into a groove.

Aside from this being flat out challenging there are 7 things I have learned:

I HAVE TO SET LIMITS…

I have to set a schedule to complete all of my work duties instead of spacing everything out throughout the entire day. Simply because homeschooling and taking care of kids requires me to take more breaks, more often. Most nights I find myself working until 11pm to make sure I finish everything I want to complete during the work day. However, I still need to maintain work/life balance. So it is a must I create limits and boundaries to separate when I work and log off.

I MAY NOT BE THE MORNING PERSON I THOUGHT I WAS…

My mind is clearer, thoughts are together and creativity is flowing late in the day. Either it is just more peaceful in my home during the evening or I actually work better later. I am not sure yet. I do know that I have always been an early bird, so I have believed that I am more productive during early hours. But honestly, I feel I am way more alert and productive from afternoon to late evenings. It makes me wonder if I would be better working a later shift.

I EAT MORE AND I AIN’T MAD ABOUT THAT…

At work, I am not getting up to go into the kitchen all day.  I rarely pack myself anything when I go into the office. Working at home, I have access to the kitchen and I find myself eating more snacks throughout the day. However, I have been sticking to healthier choices and they actually feed my brain and help me function better. WAHM life has probably packed a few pounds on me.

I HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING MY KIDS THAT I HAVE A JOB TO DO…

Seeing mommy at home without her usual business attire has made my kids think we are on vacation. I have to remind them that yes I am at home, yes they can give me hugs and ask me questions, but at the same time they have to respect that I am working. They have to give me space to think and be quiet when I have meetings. I always give them a prep talk before conference calls. I also try to get things prepared so they don’t have to ask me many questions and I can focus. That means tablets powered up and loaded with activities.  Plus meals and snacks in reach.

PEOPLE ARE MORE FORGIVING THAN YOU THINK…

I thought people would be annoyed during a conference call/ video chat to see my 4 year old walk up and hand me something to open. But honestly, most people enjoy seeing the kids and encourage them to speak during the calls. I think people understand a lot more than you think they do. Many times we are harder on our situations that others are.

I”M NOT AS GOOD WITH MULTI-TASKING AS I THOUGHT

Trying to do everything at once puts me in a frenzy. It also makes me forget things that are important. Doing one thing at a time, while relying on my time management/ scheduling skills is the best way to tackle this new normal. Quality over quantity.

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I GOT TO BE A LITTLE MORE FORGIVING & RELAX…

I am learning to give myself and the kids grace. We are all dealing with a lot right now. Nothing is normal. So I let them have a cookie if they want, and I am ok about the house not looking perfect. Once, you realize that it is ok to just let things be and do your best, things will flow smoother.

I hope you enjoyed some of my learning lessons and can relate. As of now, stay healthy and safe.

XOXO

Tahnee COLE

 

Stupid Sh*t People Say to Career Moms

A lot of people look at the career mom as a Super- heroine. A lot of people make me laugh with their misconceptions and small mindedness.

`Many women are working outside of the home nowadays and maintaining lucrative careers.

Women are breadwinners and for many that is admirable. Women of today are being praised for duality and viewed as strong, resilient and examples of leadership. Slogans like, The future is her… is an example of the evolution of women.  Many of the most successful women also hold the title, “MOM”!

 However, there is a latter, and we know that no good deed goes unpunished, and no decisions comes without judgement.

The truth is, WE career moms are still ridiculed and talked about by others often. We are always asked how we balance everything, as if there is a definitive answer.  As soon as my child misbehaves in school I am blamed for my career taking top precedence in my life versus being a mother. We are accused of being selfish women, who are more concerned with our professional and monetary success instead of the well-being of our children.

The suggested well-being is for all moms to stay home and nurture their children ideally until they are able to attend school.

While I am for the idea of nurturing and spending time with your kids, I am sure that all moms would not benefit their child or themselves with this arrangement. Truth is, some moms work best when they get time away from their children to take care or fulfill their dreams. Is that selfish? Well that’s a personal opinion…

But how productive and how happy will a mom be if she spends days with her kids while feeling like she is neglecting her dreams financially and personally? Many women who do this often resent their life and sadly their children. With resentment comes triggers that may even cause mental health issues.

I made this post because I have been told some stupid things when found out I am a career mom and I’m honestly sick of the ignorance.

Below are 5 of the most stupid things I have heard and my response to the comments and questions.

1. Don’t you miss your kids?

Five words come to mind when I get asked this question, “you gotta be freaking kidding me!”  That is certainly a milder version of what is actually in my head. Honestly, what kind of question is that? Me being the smart ass I am, I usually say things like, “Absolutely not.”  Why wouldn’t I miss my kids and asking me does not make me feel any better. I am sure I am not the only mom to hear this foolery.

2. If you could have a million dollars, would you stay at home with your kids?

First of all, being at work does not always equate the need for money All career moms are not just money motivated. It may just be a personal desire of the mother to have a career. However, there are many moms who are concerned with financial compensation so obviously that is why they are working. If we had a million dollars we all would probably be making different choices but seriously…

3. Do you feel like someone else is raising your kids?

Of all the questions and comments this ranks high with disrespect. How dare could you compare raising, to me involving necessary helpful partners to accompanying me with my children’s development. First of all, it takes a village to raise a child and whether you like it or not, other sources will be necessary in the proper development of your child. Your child will need other people besides you at some point. Other perspectives and expertise to help them grow and be more multi-dimensional.

4. Do you feel bad when you miss out on events?

My first thought is: What makes you think I am missing out on all the events? Obviously, as a working parent there will be things that I miss. Honestly, I try to make as many events that I can. Me not showing up to support my kids is extremely rare. But seriously, no parent wants to be asked a question like that because the answer is pretty evident.

5. Do you feel like your kids would benefit better from you staying home vs working?

This question used to bother me a lot because growing up with a stay at home mom I could obviously see the benefits in how I was nurtured. It made me feel like I was slighting and depriving my children from a enriched life. However, I am learning to stop comparing my childhood and circumstances to my children. I also believe that whatever is best for my children will present itself and become our reality as long as I am aligned with my purpose.

With that being said, I hope all career moms understand you are not alone. People will support you and others will judge you. Keep going, you got this mama!

Tahnee Cole

A Preteen, A Preschooler, A Puppy & A Pandemic

“Have a kid” they said…

“Get a puppy” they said…

I’m joking!  I love my little family, but I will say the family dynamic has changed since we added our little PUPPY Apollo to our clan. Yes, he is a great little addition. All sweet and cuddly, but he Demands ATTENTION! I forgot how much work goes into having a dog since we haven’t had a puppy since 2013. Honestly, I am enjoying him and it is helping me stay on track with morning exercise.

Right now we are all stuck inside because of the Coronavirus, but this is forcing me to make changes with my routine. I am focusing on bonding and what matters most.

Homeschooling while working from home is no joke. It is so easy to complain, but honestly I have so much to be thankful for. My children being able to stay home with me and having a career that can transition to work from home is more than a blessing.

I have a PRETEEN who is going through major life changes and I have realized that she needs me more than I thought. See sometimes as our children grow older we set them free a little. We don’t want to seem like we are smothering them and we encourage more independence.  We just watch them from the sideline. However, I have realized that my daughter needs me more now, and with the daily rush of being a career mom I have very little time to just focus on her.

Our days are moving fast and this PANDEMIC has made us all slow down a little. I was able to sit down with my daughter as I worked from home and before my son got up and we just talked and talked. We discussed everything that was going on in school.  I was able to listen and give feedback without judgement. We both felt really good and relieve afterwards. We even set some personal goals together.

Plus, I have a sweet little four year old PRESCHOOLER who has been adjusting to PRE-K life. Days before our official lockdown his favorite preschool teacher passed away. Which was a major loss for our family and his school community. Even though he is happy to be home with his family, he misses his friends. And he is concerned if he will even start kindergarten this year. Everything is uncertain right now, but what I am certain of is that with every storm is a rainbow and every bad time births a blessing.

SO HOW AM I MANAGING LIFE NOW?

I am taking it slow, doing what I can and putting love at the center of all my days.

 

-Tahnee Cole

PEACE, LOVE & MOTHERHOOD

As I sit here and sip my tea, I think about what so many Mommy Bloggers contribute to my life. I am so inspired by this era of women. I am so proud of especially black moms, who are branching out and sharing their unique motherhood journey.

Whenever I go to THE MOM IN ME BLOG… https://www.themominmeblog.com/ I feel a sense of peace and connection to my higher self. I am not sure how I found Blogger Mom Princess, but honey she has blessed me!!! She is a wife, mom of 3 cuties, a planter, herbalist, yogi, business owner, and so much more. I got a chance to talk to her about how she incorporates PEACE into mom life. We know mom life can be chaotic.  So she spilled a little of her tea on how to enhance your motherhood journey and overall well-being.

PRINCESS SAID…

“Incorporating peace while juggling being a mom is not an easy task. Even I have days where I lose my shit, so I am most definitely not always in a peaceful mood.”

She explains that it starts from the moment you close your eyes for the night. This sets the tone for the following day. Sleep peacefully, wake up peacefully.

So not only is Princess concerned about the day, but also how she maintains her well-being the following day. Which is extremely important.

 

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“Meditation before bed is important to me. I actually fall asleep faster because of it. I often fall asleep before I even finish mediating. In the mornings, my routine consists of tea, meditation and yoga. And throughout the day, even if it’s just for 30 seconds, I meditate.”

 

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“Taking time to regroup and breathe is more important than people think. It only takes a few seconds to regroup. Those seconds make a huge difference. I took yoga in high school, and actually went to anger management (my high school had a health clinic inside, sponsored by the local hospital. They provide free services). That’s when it all began. I started meditating and doing yoga before I left for school. Then I’d do yoga at school. It was one of the classes offered for physical education. I had a lot of built up anger from childhood. I was angry ALL THE TIME, for NO REASON.”

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Blogger Mom Princess explains that at one point she actually got away from meditating and doing yoga. Life was too stressful for her to focus on it. She came back to it in 2013 and I’m glad she did. She has even created a bonus room upstairs in her home for her yoga space and a pole for fitness. So she is able to get away and have time for herself.  She jokes that she tells her husband Dwight that she is going upstairs and everyone knows not to bother her. Its another way for her to relieve stress and become one with nature.

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Some of her favorite hobbies are playing her guitar and writing poetry. I was interested to know this because I also have a love for writing poetry. Princess started writing poetry since 13 and often turned her poems into song.

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One of my biggest questions for Princess was how she represents healthy physical and mental well-being for her children and she said this…

“As far as my children when it comes to physical and mental health, I try my best to allow them to express themselves as they please. Of course with guided input from Dwight and I. But we don’t want them to do things just because it’s what we do. Freedom of expression is important for mental health. They like to join me during yoga sessions. They like helping in the garden. So I try to encourage them when I see they are interested. Make it fun and it doesn’t seem like work, if that makes sense. “

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Princess wants her blog and social media to be a  platform for people to learn how to be a better version of themselves. She has a lot of different projects that she is working on that will be on the blog soon. Including an intention journal, an eBook for blogging tips, and more free (and paid) videos on yoga and meditation. She wants people to know that they don’t have to put a limit on what they can do or learn.

Princess you inspire us! Keep doing what you do girl and we will be checking you out on https://www.themominmeblog.com/!

The Kids Are Off For 3 Weeks…

So I know if you are a working/career mom you may be in a bit of a frenzy. It is already a lot preparing for Spring break, Summer Break and unexpected days off here and there.  Yet, 3 whole weeks is a different battle!

Honey, parents all over the world are like, “WHAT IN THE HECK?”

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Well, I want to give you a few tips to help you prepare for this week. Some tips that can help you find reliable care for your children. To give you peace in your mind and help maintain your sanity.

 

LEGGGOOOOOO….

1. CO-PARENTING- This is the time to WORK TOGETHER! You are a family unit regardless of the situation. During a crisis families should stick together. Find a way to split time up so that the children can be in both of your care during this three week school hiatus. Be fair. Be fun!

 2. GRANDPARENTS- Most grandparents love spending time with the grands. This is the time to send the kids with the grands (if you can)! I  know a friend who is driving her kids a few cities away to be with their grandparents during this time.  I know that my kids will be spending time with their grandparents during this time. I will be packing them up some food though. I don’t want them to get put out for eating everything, joking!

3. YOUR MAMA TRIBE/ FRIENDS- Do you have some moms who are at home? Stay at home moms? Or moms who work a different shift that would be willing to help out? Sometimes if you pay for help the results are much quicker. Most people need a little extra cash and would be willing to help during this emergency time. Keep in contact with your mama tribe, even if that means asking for suggestions.

4. WORK FROM HOME- If you are like me and work in Finance/ Accounting, you probably take a laptop home every night. Ask your Supervisor if he/she can accommodate you to work from home a few days if not the duration of this extended break. Let them know that you are going to still be able to give 100%. We want to encourage them to be willing to allow this courtesy and convenience. Obviously, you still have to be a strong performer despite the circumstances.

5. COMPANY RESOURCES- You work hard and your employer provides compensation and benefits. USE THEM! Get in contact with your HR representative and ask about extended leaves of absence, time off and benefits to accommodate you during emergencies. THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!!  I know the company that I work for is very family friendly. They provide a resource called Bright Horizons. Bright Horizon helps you find quality child care, Nannies and Nursing home facilities (elder family members) at a discount. Especially, during emergency circumstances. Reach out to find out how the company you work for can help you.

As always, I know that this will not help everyone. I am praying that we all get through this time happy and healthy. I also hope that you all will have some peace knowing that this too shall pass. Remember to stay positive, stay focused and stay committed. Love you all!

Tahnee Cole

“The MOMMY MOTIVATOR”

 

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The Bitter Baby Mama…

Remember the bitter baby mama, yeah that’s what you called her.

You first saw her in the grocery store, right? She was standing there yelling at her kids, using all types of profanity.

“Don’t touch a motha…” Is how she started her first sentence. Telling her three kids to keep their hands to themselves.

She looked tired and worn out, but you didn’t give a damn. Even though you saw her five year old touch the M&Ms 10 times, after she said not to, you judge her. Harshly. You said she was a pathetic mama to talk to her kids like that.

And when you overheard her saying she was a single mama, you rolled your eyes.

You said to yourself, “how could she take it out on her kids? They didn’t ask to be here. Nobody should have to suffer behind her poor choices.

Another bitter baby mama.

You looked down upon her with disgust, as you guarded your children as if you were blocking them from some contagious rare disease. You watched her struggle to carry her baby, push the cart with several grocery bags and walk in her raggedy high heel shoes.

You even joked with your partner and said she was probably on the government’s assistance. She probably bought her groceries with her EBT card. You didn’t know that woman, but you threw so much dirt on her name you would have thought it was planting season.

Then you watched her grabbed all her groceries and walk to the bus stop. A baby on her arm, one barely walking and an older child trying to carry as many groceries as he could. He was filled with shame too.

“These kids deserve a mom they could be proud!” Is what you had the nerve to say.

You were looking from the outside in, thinking you had it all figured out. You saw her rolling her eyes defensively sitting with her three kids at the bus stop.

You stared at her and said, “How could she be so stupid” Nobody told her to open her legs and have kids before she got married. Why wasn’t she on birth control?

You even said she is probably one of those women who won’t let the man see his kids, put him on child support and hate any new chick he dates. The drama type. The bitter baby mama type.

You gathered that all in one trip to the store. Never spoke to this woman one time. Didn’t even know her name.

 

Well, Fast-forward…

It is funny how life flips. When you got home one day, the love of your life let you know that he wanted to move on.

After 15 yrs of playing house, he confessed he had not been happy in years, He wanted to find himself (whatever the hell that means) and you didn’t do it for him anymore.

He left and never looked back. You called to ask if he would drop money off or the kids, but he wouldn’t respond. Now you are contemplating on putting him on child support.

The kids are hungry and you have to go to the grocery store. Taking them to the store without help is not something that you are used to.

The trip to the store is a disaster.

Your kids are crying and grabbing items, the people at the back of the line are giving you the same looks you gave, well the bitter baby mama.

After the grocery store chaos, you sit down in your car exhausted. Putting groceries in the trunk and strapping kids in by yourself is no joke.  You open up your IG for a quick second and you see your ex with his new woman, you are furious.

Of all days, your car won’t start. Nobody can give you a ride, so you have to wait for triple A.

Now you are waiting for the tow truck, with crying hungry kids in the back. With tears in your eyes.

You stare intently at the same bus stop that sat the mom you judged. You finally felt remorse for your ignorance, you felt sorry. You became exactly who you judged. Finally, you understood her pain and sympathized for her story.

This made your understand the importance of never ever looking down or judging anyone, because the tables can turn.

As you focused on your kids, and the anger your felt in your heart, you realized that now you are also viewed as the Bitter Baby Mama…

Everyone has a story.

Tahnee Cole