the WAHM and SAHM confusion…

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Ditch the WAHM being a SAHM CONFUSION. 

Since March I have been working remote due to the pandemic. It has been a mix of pleasure and testing my patience.

Due to personal and professional time constraints, I have learned that I can’t do it all and I’m content with that realization.

While I respect and commend moms who stay at home, because it is no simple task raising children all day. There is a huge difference between being a work-at-home mom and a stay-at-home mom. It seems easy to confuse the two.


Working at home with your children is different. I had an issue with a teacher due to me having to explain to her that I couldn’t be as present with my five year old son during a zoom lesson. I manage a high profile portfolio that requires meetings and my attention. Most of my meetings at work are arranged and facilitated by me so I have to be attentive. I tried to make arrangements for Zoom lessons to be at a more convenient time for working parents, such as lunch blocks, but it wasn’t possible. Luckily, my son was able to attend school in person and that resolved that issue.

“It is as if, people tend to forget that working remote is working, but just not at the designated office. I have even had to explain to family members to not disturb me during my work hours. “

It is possible that work-at-home moms will feel extreme stress, because being at home will make you feel like a stay-at-home mom. You might even feel as though you should be showing your children more attention. While it allows you more access to your children, you still have a job to do and are doing double work. You have to make sure that you are not over extending yourself. It is important to establish rules for yourself and your family so that they understand that there are work requirements.

I am excited my kids are off for summer break soon. I am reading for vacations and no back and forth trips to school, but I will be making sure that I am not stressing myself out. This summer I will be doing major snack and meal prepping. You know that kids will eat all day if you allow them to do so. So I will be trying my best not to do too much unnecessary cooking and buying. I will be setting boundaries for when the kids can step into my workspace. My kids are usually good about doing their own thing, but there are times when I have to remind them. I will also make sure that at least a few times out the week they will be involved in some summer activities.

Being a WAHM can be challenging, but with preparation and positivity it can work out fine. Keep pushing #WAHMS !

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Confidence is Key : Ways I Encourage & Motivate My Black Son.

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In a world, where young black men are often downplayed as thugs, irresponsible baby daddies, drug dealers etc. It is important to teach our children about the images that are not often on the news. The positive images. Black people are thriving and there are many positive representations of “black boy joy” and “the black man can” to inspire our sons to be their greatest self. However, many times those positive images are hidden behind all the negative depictions. We must obviously educate our young kings about what is necessary to survive, but even more so on how to thrive.

Let me tell you about 5 ways that I am encouraging my son to be his greatest self. As well as, to celebrate himself with confidence!

BOOKS …

I love the fact that there are many positive books for young black boys. Some of my favorite books come from Hey Carter Books by Dr. Thomishia Booker. These books teach my son to be comfortable and proud to be in his beautiful brown skin. They show positive representations of strong, gifted young boys. I adore the message presented to young children. My son is five and we have been reading these books since the beginning of the pandemic. We end our day with a book to help encourage him through tough school weeks and to keep reminding him of his greatness.

KNOWLEGE OF PEOPLE WHO CHANGED THE NARRATIVE…

I think it is so important to show my son examples of people who did the unthinkable. Showing him people who beat the odds. Life is not going to be easy and there will be obstacles. Showing your child a pretty perfect picture can often set them up for disappointments and defeat when they enter the real world. Instead, I show my son that obstacles can build character and that he can conquer the toughest of situations.

I also spent some time explaining to my son that even though I am his number one support system that it can be done without me. I try to teach my kids to rely on themselves, because we never know when we will only have ourselves. We must believe in ourselves when others do not. I also let them know that there are people who were successful without support so they will be a force to be reckon because they actually have support.

Lately, my son has been showing an interest in Science, but said other kids in the class thought he was weird for wanting to be a Scientist. I explained to my son that there are so many benefits of picking an unpopular purpose driven career choice. It is so easy to push our sons to athletic careers or the normal doctor, lawyer etc. These careers are also great, but I let my son know that it is possible to create a lane for himself and be damn good at it.

Extracurricular Activities…

Not only is it a great idea to keep your son in extracurricular activities for his health and wellness. It is a way to keep your child’s mind occupied with positive activities. Sports help with teamwork, leadership, focus, discipline and many other great values that will keep your child stay the course. Both my children are also following in their moms footsteps and wants to play musical instruments. I think it is very important to keep my children focused on their strengths and the positive talents that they can contribute to the world.

Positive males in his life…

My son is blessed to have a good active father in his life. He sees his dad multiple times a week and every other weekend. They have bonded since birth and he is pretty strict on how he raises Jr. I trust that he has Jeremey’s best interest at heart, and will keep him on the right path. Him having men in his life that show him how to value hard work, respect and morals will keep him focused. Many of the men in his life, dad, grandfathers, uncles, etc.. are hard-workers so he knows that nothing will just be given to him, but earned. I will also make sure that he is provided with mentors when it comes to different areas of his life. Mentors that are outside of the family that can help him with guiding him through his personal and professional life choices.

Positive self talk, Affirmations and compliments…

I am the mom to hype up her kids. I am also the mom to yell when I get upset, but I am learning that there is so much power in what you say. Giving your children positive reinforcement and positive affirmations will build them up. In a world where they will meet people who will deliberately cut them down, the last thing they need is you saying bad things about them. I definitely think this is something you have to work on daily, because as parents sometimes we tend to always correct and point out flaws, but we must focus on our children’s strengths. Especially, our young black boys who will always have to try a little Harder.

Tahnee Cole

Teaching awareness and ambition.

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Since my kids have been home with me more due to the pandemic, I have more time to teach them the values and skills that will be useful for them to thrive in life. Not just survive but to live abundantly. My parents taught me a lot and with each generation we are supposed to become stronger, braver and richer. My parents raised me to reach heights higher than them and I am looking forward to my children doing the same. At their young age they have already been exposed to more knowledge than previous generations, however; it is about what they do with the knowledge they receive.

At times, as a black mom it can become very discouraging when all you see on the news is negative images and depictions of black people. Children not even making it to 18, due to police brutality, gang violence and all sorts of heinous crimes. Although, we can’t always predict what lies ahead of us, it is a must that we educate our children on practices that will help them stay as safe as possible. Whether that is watching their environment or discussing protocol when approached by an irate officer. I know hearing that sounds hopeless. In many situations, it seems like black people are doomed when it comes to being in contact with an officer especially a black man. Yet, I still want to encourage my children that bad stories does not directly tie to them. Just because you saw a story of a black man being killed by an officer does not mean your life will end that way. I’m suiting up my children to be brilliant, resilient but never ignorant. Ignorant to the fact that bad things and people are out there, but also to never be ignorant to the fact that they are powerful beings made in their Creator’s image.

It is important to stop allowing our children to feel hopeless, live in fear and not aspire to be the success story, but instead the failed one. Subconsciously, showing our children so many negative images will program them to feel inferior and discouraged. We must reprogram our children to feel like despite their obstacles they can achieve. No that doesn’t mean ignore or not acknowledge that there are bad things going on around them. There are certainly horrible events happening every day. However, manifesting is powerful. We can manifest negativity by speaking, thinking and internalizing. I know that what you speak can come to past. What you think can come to past and words are curses. We must teach our children to speak life over their life, to indulge into the positive aspects of what life has to offer and to know their strengths.

Once our young black children are encouraged and feel confident in who they are and their abilities, they will be a force to be reckon with. Every day I show my children a success story. I teach them all of the famous African Americans who have invented creations that has made life easier for humanity. They learn about their ancestors who were brave and paved the way for them. We don’t focus on slavery movies that only show us as helpless slaves who could not make a difference. A difference was indeed made. My children will make changes and difference. My children will thrive and they will live out their divine purpose with awareness, but an ambitious mindset!

Tahnee Cole

The Working Mom Chaos…

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I recall a time I felt the entire pressure of being a working mom.

I felt judged. I was already late to the parent meeting. I know they heard my heels clicking as fast as they could down the hall. I got myself together, clutched my purse and controlled my breathing. I found a seat in the front. There were no chairs in the back that would save me the embarrassing feeling of being late.

Most of the moms were in sweats, so they may have just thought I was fashionably late. But no, my fancy ensemble was because I was a career mom. What they didn’t know is I had damn near killed myself to get to this meeting. I was on the highway screaming, “Move b—–, get out the way” In my best Ludacris impersonation.

I had made a promise to attend these meetings to show that I was more than concerned and all about my daughter’s progression and education. These meetings though were unrealistic to my schedule. Most of the meetings for working parents were unrealistic. I called my son’s dad to let him know that I was at Heaven’s school and that he could meet me in the parking lot to drop LJ off. He worked third shift and needed to get to work. The meeting was still going on and by now I had warmed up and was giving my input. The parents were actually enjoying what I was suggesting. Partly because they trusted my judgment. I just looked the part of a professional, so it wasn’t hard convincing people that I knew what was best. The meeting was getting good. Heaven was off to the side playing with her classmates.

Jeremey called and said he was outside with little Jay. I had to excuse myself and go get my baby. At the time LJ was about 5 months. When I came back of course people were ranting and raving about how adorable he was. Even mentioning that I didn’t even look like I had a baby that small, let alone 2. I was holding LJ and trying to still participate in the meeting. That was until he realized the breast he adored were concealed with a sweater that went all the way to my neck. Why the hell did I wear a damn turtleneck with this suit? I asked myself. He started tugging and twisting his body so that he could get to the milkies. I looked down at his baby bag to see if there was a bottle, but no. I looked down and his face looked distressed and then came that cry.

If give me the damn milk was a person, Jeremey was him. I gave in to avoid the cry. A little breast never hurt anyone. I was sure they had all seen one before. I discreetly lifted up my shirt, stuck LJ in and under my shirt. I then closed my blazer and went on taking. LJ didn’t like the blazer so he took it off his head and made sure my breast was exposed. Then he had the nerve to look at me. By this time I was like F— it. I was exhausted. I just fed him and finished the meeting. When the meeting was over, I had to gather his car seat, baby bag and my purse. I had to bargain and beg with Heaven to stop playing with her friends so that we could go home. I held her hand, carried LJ in his car seat and walked across the long parking lot. Feeling exhausted from work and parent life this day, I knew it would be some challenging days ahead of us.

Tahnee Cole

The Pandemic and Corporate America Working Parents

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It was nothing new to me. Being a working mom can be rough. I’m always making adjustments. When the babysitter couldn’t make it to watch Jr, I had to adjust. When Heaven had early days out of school or snow days, major adjustments. There was usually always some weekly or monthly inconvenience for me. Now the whole world was making an adjustment.

Ironically, just before the Pandemic hit my department had just discussed the new rules for remote working. They were allowing us to work from home more often, little did they know Covid would be forcing us to work remote a lot more than they anticipated. My son was currently in his first year of preschool and Heaven had just started middle school.

Ironically, before this occurrence I was already thinking about summer camp plans. Plus, I knew soon Jr. would be starting kindergarten in the fall. So, I was already worried about how I would arrange my schedule to pick up and drop off both my kids, to and from school. It seems like as a mom, you are constantly thinking ahead. No days off, even in your head.

But when Covid hit, it hit different. Large companies were requiring workers to stay home and if permitted to work from home. The pandemic had forced many corporate companies to be flexible . Or should I say, allow their workers to be flexible. It was now the CEO that had no place to send their children. They were suddenly like the lower level workers. It was a must to let working parents have flexibility.

Covid, had no discrimination and for once, we all felt helpless. It is very unfortunate that it takes major events to realize that working parents need flexibility. This may have been new to many, but working parents go through struggles often with balancing family and career life. Especially, workers who are not paid top dollar or have a spouse that can stay home and tend to the children. Many parents need remote working options and more flexible schedules. This flexibility should continue regardless of Covid dying down. Despite the fact that we have a vaccine created to help us manage to coincide with this nasty virus, our need for balance is still the same. Human Resources should still make sure there are policies in place that will help working parents have schedules that are conducive to family life.

Overworked and stressed parents do not work efficiently and effectively. Yes, working from home is not the easiest while children are at home or doing virtual lessons. However, think about the convenience and flexibility when children are able to go back to school. There will be less PTO used for snow days if parents can stay home, and work when weather conditions prove to be too hazardous to commute. Think of the parents who can use their flexibility to provide their children transportation to and from school. Or get a chance to make sure they are on and off the buses and home safe. Think about the parents who will be able to attend after school programs, teacher conferences, etc. Flexibility is a must and the pandemic showed us that.

Although, there were many parents who worked in industries that could not work from home, there are many parents who had the opportunity. Many of those parents admitted that even though remote working had it’s difficulties, there were many perks. Covid created a lot of chaos, but helped put into perspective how we have been living our daily lives.

Tahnee Cole

The Mommy Motivator!

Too Sexy for work. Are black women criticized more?

Tahnee Cole2 Comments

“Girl they told me to go home and change my shirt. And I could possibly get written up for having to leave. I don’t get it, the other girls wear shirts just like this, but nobody says anything.”

I was packing my lunch and trying to get Apollo settled as I listened to my friend complain. See Alana is built like a stallion. About 5’8 and curves like a back road. Blessed with long athletic legs, big melons for breast and a gorgeous face to match. She can’t hide in a crowd if she tried. It seemed like no matter what she wore it was an issue. Unfortunately, since she is blessed with this body, she can’t hide it. It doesn’t matter what she wears. Her body is going to stand out.

I listened before I agreed that I thought she was being centered out. She was the only black woman in her department. The other women wore mini skirts and low cut tops, but for some reason they were never called out about their appearance. The chaos about clothing always got started when Alana showed up. I asked Alana to send me a picture of her in her top.

Hmmm, it looked regular to me. No cleavage. No tatts. Just perky double d’s in a blouse. She couldn’t help that. No sweater would hide it.

Alana is not the only black woman I know who has gone through this type of treatment. I myself have been victim of discrimination and nitpicking for my clothing. Especially, when I was younger and always turning heads. It was as if I was penalized if a man stared too long, or if I received compliments. I noticed a bunch of struggles when I worked with the public. Plus, I had the bubbly personality to match.

I do believe that you should be mindful and dress appropriately for work. No super low cut tops or skirts up your butt . But a form fitting dress, paired with a blazer on a black woman is still seen as sexy. It seems at times that no matter what we wear, it does not fit the professional standards.

I know how it was. Being a woman who wanted to add some sassiness to a business suit. I totally understood Alana. Although, I don’t have as many curves as Alana. Being a petite woman I have an ample backside. So my pencil skirts stand out and eyes will notice. Comments will be made and oh the shade…

As I sit around with my female friends with rich melanin, we compare corporate notes and it is amazing the stories. If not discrimination for our hair, it is our curves. Then it is how we talk. It is our swag. It forces so many women to try to conform to an image that is not authentic. It forces women of color to try to dim their light in order to blend in. Knowing damn well, we cannot blend in.

Fortunately, I have not personally experienced this in the current corporation that I am employed. Because honestly if I did, I would be looking elsewhere. I suggest that to any woman of color or woman period who feels that they can no longer be themselves. It is one thing to be conservative and to be mindful of your image. It is another to have to be played down and treated unfairly, because of your unique and God-blessed beauty.

-Tahnee Cole

Saving Money… DIY

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I got up at 5:30 am. I took Apollo outside and then I had a craving for a frozen coffee at Dunkin. Oh, what I wouldn’t do for a frozen coffee. The memory of it made my mouth water. It soothed my tired soul and cheered me up. I felt like a prisoner to a new addiction. How did I even get this started? I was very disciplined at one point when it came to any caffeinated drink. I was that mom who did not drink caffeine while pregnant or breastfeeding. Now, I was suddenly depending on this drink to start my morning. And even though the drink is not super expensive, weekly trips add up. As I was working on my budget, I thought it would be funny to check my account and add up all the frozen coffees I had for a month.

65 dollars I said? Naw, this can’t be right. I went back and counted again. Yep, I was spending 65 dollars on coffee a month. And even though it is not much, compared to my salary, it was 65 dollars I could be saving.

Perhaps, I could make my own. Sure, it wouldn’t be like Dunkin, but it would be a great substitute. Plus, I would be saving money. I googled frozen coffee recipes and coffee smoothies. To my surprise I had all the ingredients in the kitchen. Coffee, ice cream, milk (almond milk), ice cubes and a mug. I put a table spoon of coffee, poured in a half cup of milk, two small scoops or ice cream and added a few pieces of ice. The texture looked very similar to what I had ordered at Dunkin.

Yeah right. I bet it will taste like crap, I thought before pouring the mixture in my mug.

I decided to put it in the freezer for a minute. I ran to the store and picked up a bottle of whipped cream. When I got back the mixture was a little frozen. I smiled because it looked so much like the little drink I ordered daily. I put the whipped cream on top and took a swig.

Wow, this was good. It tasted just like the drink I had been obsessing over. Hell, it might even taste better. I looked at the drink and remembered that I had plenty of ingredients left to make this treat daily. That would be 65 dollars I would be saving this month.

The moral of the story is: DIY. When you are saving for a goal, look up ways to do things yourself. You might just be pleased with the results. And if you get a chance, try this drink, its good!

-Tahnee Cole

What I did when I was laid off…

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If you have been following me for awhile, then you will know about my story in 2017.

I got laid off in April, 2017.

Yes, two kids, single and I was back hitting the ratchet streets of job search avenue. In the beginning,

I felt scared. Scared to start over and start something new. Then I felt relieved…

Honestly, I had grew tired and stressed at the corporation where I worked. I was at the point in life where I didn’t really fit in. Having a second child had added to my discomfort. Not uncomfortable as a mom, but as a career woman. Being set free had created fear and relief at the same time.

During my time off, I had great pleasure in being able to spend more time with my kids. At the time, my daughter was 9 and my son was almost 2. That year gave me extra time with them and I soaked up every moment.

Then I felt pressured to find something new and solid. I had responsibilities, a home, a car, growing children and we needed medical care. So as you can see, being laid off can bring on a ton of emotions. I am in no way saying it will be easy at all. Especially, depending on your financial situation. I was lucky enough that I had a severance cushion, unemployment and a decent savings account. Some people are not as lucky, but I want to share with you some things you can do to help sustain your well-being. Especially, since many people have experienced lay-offs during the pandemic. Take a look at some of my tips below.

10 things to do when laid off…

  1. Seek a mentor– I met my mentor during my layoff and she gave me a pep talk. Not only did she talk me into returning to Corporate America, but to also create a solid business plan before I exited stage left. She also encouraged me to put a portion of my severance pay in an emergency fund. A mentor is there to encourage you, but also to give you tough love and solid advice. We have to seek counsel outside of our own thoughts. This is the time you need to seek help to make well thought out decisions.
  2. Update Resume- My resume went from basic chick to Rockstar. I made sure that I emphasized everything I had accomplished and contributed the last five years. It was no time to be modest. No more listing basic job functions, my resume set me apart. Straight, to the point and highlighting your strengths is what your updated resume should look like. Make sure to get someone to help or research ways to improve your resume.
  3. Attend job workshops– I attended a job workshop that not only helped with interviewing and resume writing. It also sent me direct job leads. Look for workshops that will help you improve your job skills and connect you to valuable resources.
  4. network– Now is not the time to be shy. LinkedIn, word of mouth, email, reach out to recruiters, etc. Its time to put yourself out there and connect with people who will help you achieve your professional goals. Networking can put you in places that sending just your resume online cannot. Get out there and get social.
  5. create a business or hOBBy– This is the time to go ahead and launch your idea or business. Not only is it a way to bring in money, but you have more time. Many people develop businesses during times that seem inopportune. Also, a new hobby could help activate your mind and hinder your job loss depression.
  6. spend time with family– In 2017, I spent so much time with my children. We spent time going to events. Being laid off is no fun and can be stressful. But as a mom, you want to make the best out or any situation. Don’t waste years and moments being depressed. Try to find joy in capturing moments with the kids.
  7. load up on positive self care– Affirmations, vision board events and self care practices will help your cope with job loss. This is the time that you need to take extra care of your mind, body and soul. That your chances of into depression and develop anxiety is lessened.
  8. Take classes– If you can go back to school or take classes, take advantage. I took free PowerPoint classes at the library to sharpen my skills. I even enrolled in some free exercising classes. I know some moms who have finished degrees during times of being laid off. Anything is possible.
  9. Save money and downsize– Even if you received a huge severance pay, not is not the time to overspend. It is time to save, invest and watch your spending. If you can downsize where you live or move in with a family member, do it. There is no sense trying to stress yourself when you have the option to reduce some heavier burdens,
  10. Apply for the career you desire– Now is the time to go after what you truly want. Apply to the company you desired to work for. You were set free to go to the next level. Learn about your desire career, make connections and then go for it.

I used all of these tips, and before I knew it I was working for a better corporation. I hope these tips will help you. Please share any tips that I have missed. Thanks for reading!

Tahnee Cole

The Mommy Motivator

Teaching young ones to read…

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Both of my parents worked at the Cleveland Public Library. That is how they met and after marriage a legend was born, (ME) LOL. My dad went on to work there and retire. So, I grew up extremely involved in the library and I grew a passion to read and write. It was also very important for my kids to learn how to read. Unfortunately, since the pandemic, we have not been able to go to the library. We are use to going to the library at least 2 to 3 times a week. I have a kindergartener who is still learning to read. He has an awesome vocabulary, writes legibly, but is in the process of learning to read.

Career moms, please don’t feel guilty. It is hard to work and put the extra time in with the kids. Especially, the consistency needed to help your child with a fundamental part of their growth. Reading is one of the most important things we all have to learn. I often wonder, if you can’t read, how will your survive? If you are a busy mom like me, I provided a few tips that I am using to help my littlest read. It worked wonders for my daughter, who currently reads on a college level. So, here we are again. Remember to develop some routines. Plus, stay consistent, patient and positive.

5 TIPS

  1. Read Daily– Kids learn by routine. Our reading time is usually at night when it is time to settle for bed. Nighttime stories are great for bonding. Sometimes we cuddle with snacks and knock out four books. When you make reading time enjoyable, kids want to do it often.
  2. Sight words- I use flashcards daily with Jr. Seeing the same words over and over helps to stay in his memory. Repetition is the quickest way to retain information. As we read books, Jr. is able to pick out the sight words. The more words he learns, the more sentences he can complete while reading.
  3. Reading programs– Jr.’s dad enrolled him in a phonics reading program. I definitely saw some results. Look up some online programs. It may take a little time to find free or low cost programs, but it is definitely worth the time and effort. If you don’t mind spending an extra buck try enrolling your child in a reading program. Most reading programs are successful at using techniques that can help encourage your child to read more.
  4. Older Siblings– Younger kids learn quick from their older siblings. They want to keep up. I remember watching my daughter show my son how to write his name. She used dots and it worked like magic. Before I knew it, he was writing his name without any assistance. The older siblings know tips and tricks. Most siblings love being involved. So don’t be afraid to ask for their help.
  5. Talk to your kids– It sounds weird, but children who are talked to are proven to have a more extensive vocabulary. I have never talked “baby talk” to my kids. As a result, they are little chatter boxes. My son uses very large words, that you would rarely hear from a five year old. Talking to them also helps with them picking up words and phrases. As well as, understanding sentence structure, which is all apart of reading.

I hope that you enjoyed my list, and can use this for your young readers. Remember, once the kids learn to read that it doesn’t just stop there. Encourage your children to always read and build their vocabulary. As they get older, we just have to motivate and encourage them in more creative ways.

Tahnee Cole

I did not stress about Thanksgiving. I will not stress about Christmas.

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I refuse to stress myself, especially with all that I have been through this year. Holidays are supposed to be for enjoyment. You should not be stressed. Holidays are mainly meant for reflection, cheer, family and memories. With the pandemic taking lives, bringing changes to routine and the economy. The primary focus should be the value of life. The pandemic has forced me to focus on what really matters and to take nothing for granted. What matters most to me is family and memories.

I made sure that when it came to Thanksgiving I did not stress. The same will take place for Christmas. If you celebrate those holidays then you know that they can become stressful. You got to make sure that the food and the gifts are perfect It is as if, we are constantly in a competition with the last year. With Covid knocking everyone down a tad bit, we need to put our focus on things that will not make us stress. The memories I make with my kids are so important to me. The simplest memories by far always mean the most. Today, I want to share with you five tips on how I make sure I do not stress during the holidays.

5 TIPS ON STRESS FREE HOLIDAYS!

  1. We gon’ eat– Yeah, straight like that. That means, I am not stressing over food. I am not spending long hours in the kitchen because I cook everyday, all day. The cooking has increased even more since my kids are mostly homeschooling. People spend Thanksgiving stressing about food and it can truly take away from the meaning of the Holiday. My kids ate and we are blessed to have food, but I am not going to go crazy trying to be a chef. Nor do I expect anyone else stressing themselves out. My mom and I worked out Thanksgiving together, but we did not make a big thing out of it. It was more like a traditional Sunday dinner. Keep it simple, keep it cute!
  2. I help others– Giving back always keeps you grounded and makes you remember the true meaning of the Holidays. There is nothing more real than seeing people struggle with real life. Meanwhile, your spoiled ass is complaining about what you want to eat. There are people who do not have a choice and we are complaining over choices. In order to keep yourself grounded, we must always put ourselves in a position to help others. Give old coats or buy a coat and donate it to a coat drive. Donate toys to a shelter. Help prepare food for a food bank. Do something to make you remember what life is about. Count your blessings.
  3. We make memories and create new traditions– Covid has made many of us more creative. Many places we love to go to is now closed. Plus, we just don’t feel comfortable going to places we use to, because we don’t want to put ourselves at risk of catching Covid. The holidays is for creating new memories and traditions. Being creative will make your creative memories that can last a lifetime and become regular traditions. Make some holiday treats, crafts, decorate the house or come up with a totally unique way to celebrate.
  4. I am buying meaningful gifts– Some people just want to have 800 boxes wrapped under the tree . It makes your look rich right? Now you are broke because you bought six hundred toys for your kids. Meanwhile, they can’t even fit in your home. Plus, they will collect dust because they don’t even play with them. Too many to catch their attention. Stop that now! You are stressed because you are living above your means. A bunch of gifts do not equate to love or wealth. Some of the most wealthy people buy their family bathrobes, meanwhile the broke people are buying Gucci socks! Honestly, the older I get, the more meaningful my gift-giving.
  5. I Don’t do, what I don’t want to do– Parties and events can stress you. Even before Covid I had this mentality. If I don’t want to go somewhere I kindly decline the invite. There are still some people having events despite Covid and if you don’t feel comfortable, don’t go. Explain to them your concerns and if they don’t understand, peace! When you feel stressed about doing things you don’t want, it takes away the joy from the holiday. I say do what makes you feel good. Even family events, don’t feel compelled to go in environments that steal your peace.

I hope that you can use some of these tips to make your life more enjoyable. Share some tips that you use with me. I would love to hear traditions, tips or even holiday horror stories, LOL. Thanks for reading!

Tahnee Cole

Career Mom Motivator!

After Work… Unwind

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My music selection was Toni Braxton. Matter of fact, it was her latest featuring HER called “Gotta Move On”. How befitting to how I felt. I had cut off a man who I was on the verge of being in love with last week. He was an emotional liability. To be all the way honest, I am emotionally handicap. I can’t feel the way I use to. Nor, can I contain another persons insecurities while trying to reach my goals, survive during this pandemic and raise solid successful kids.

I needed a spiritual and physical detox.

I had my phone on low. Since my kids were away I couldn’t put it on do not disturb. I laid back in the tub and let the bubbles touch my ears. Candles lit, darkness and wine.

Just me, myself and I.

I had hit 35 and refused to settle for less. Inadequate relationships whether platonic or romantic, was a hell no for me. Hell, I wasn’t even eating anything that wasn’t bring me satisfaction. My expectations were high and I wasn’t letting that shit change for anything.

As I set back I thought, damn, I need to do this more often.

It felt good to relax. Of course my phone ranged. I glanced to make sure it wasn’t important. it wasn’t. I closed my eyes and drifted into relaxation again.

On most days I was moving around. Cooking and cleaning like a slave. Trying to make sure the house was blogger mom perfect. It felt damn good to unwind. I deserved it. I needed it. My mind, body and soul had been craving it. Why was it so difficult to put myself first? Why had I got to a point where I felt guilty about doing for me? Why was I so damn concerned about everyone’s needs, but my own? When it came to fulfilling my needs, I was hesitant.

All of these thoughts in the tub. To some people a simple bath is just a bath. To me it was as sacred as a baptism. The Most High provided us with water. Water is the most powerful force on earth. Being immersed in this water was providing me major healing. It was revealing to me how dehydrated I was. Not in a sense that my thirst was quenched. But that my physical body needed to unwind. To release. To replenish. To be fulfilled.

The need to unwind after work was definitely needed…

5 TIPS TO HELP CAREER MOMS TO SUCCEED

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So, I know I joke on my social media platforms about my go to when surviving motherhood: wine. But wait, in all seriousness, there is so much more. Mom life will make you go through many trial and error lessons before you finally find a groove. Even then, situations are subject to change and then you will have to adjust accordingly. For instance, this pandemic. It had caused me to abandon some of my old routines and create a new set of systems.

Well, today I selected a few basic tips that should help you regardless of your routine changes. They are a basic set of principles that should help you manage #mommyhood and be successful.

A Solid Self Care Plan

Eating healthier, exercise, some type of mental and spiritual stimulation and spending time recharging. Your choice, your way.

 

love romantic bath candlelight
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Flexibility In Your Career 

Your employer or you (if you are your own boss) needs to understand that work life balance is mandatory and your family is priority. In order to effectively work, you need peace of mind when it comes to knowing your family is well cared for. A solid mind is more productive, that’s a win, win.
woman in white long sleeve shirt and overalls
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Quality Childcare

 That is school. After and before school. Summer camp, even extra-curricular activities. While your children are out of your presence, you should be at ease that they are being cared for.
closeup photo of assorted color alphabets
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Photo by Magda Ehlers on Pexels.com

Money Management

Career moms make money, but need to still make sure that their finances are in order. Due to busy schedules it may be harder to keep track of finances, but budgets and money managing professionals can be useful for career moms to maintain stability and meet financial goals.
bank notes bills cash currency
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A Solid Schedule/ Planner/Organizer

A career moms schedule can get super busy. So we need career moms to get their schedule in order. Once you have created a solid schedule. You are in control of your time and time management is a key to success!!!
personal organizer and pink flowers on desk
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As always remember that you are doing a great job. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Make adjustments and keep pushing!

Tahnee Cole