Stop Stereotyping Career Moms… (Don’t play with us)!

I recently seen a post about career moms not making good homemakers. This led me to create this post. It is assumed that if you have a career and you are a mother, you are more prone to neglect every other aspect of your life, bullshit. I even loss interest in this creators content after seeing the negative post about career moms. I started to single her out and tell her to speak for herself. All I could think was, “Bitch it’s 2021, Women are raising businesses and babies.”

I am learning that there are many insecure people, and they will push off their inadequacies amongst others to validate why they cannot accomplish what others simply can. Due to their laziness and insecurities, they find it impossible to believe that women like me have the zest to fulfill many roles. Especially, since they are barely maintaining the one role they are supposed to be managing. These women are still waiting for a man to save them and discrediting women who are getting off their ass and getting it themselves. In a perfect world, we could sit at home, barefoot and pregnant with the “ideal husband” taking care of us. However, that it not the reality for many women.

And even if that were the case, would we all be content with that position? Are all women meant to stay home and take care of children without an identity? Should we give up on our dreams and aspirations because of our gender? Or the gender boundaries and roles we are supposed to fit in? If that was simply the truth, why did some woman break that cycle and desire to do more?

Do I agree that it is challenging being a career woman and maintaining a home, yes. Yet, it is far from impossible. It’s called prioritizing and strategizing. Honestly being a homemaker has less to do with your occupation, either you have it or you do not. Either you will do it or you will not. Maintaining a home, creating meals and being a mother takes effort. If there is anything that you desire to do, you will put the effort in to do what needs to be done. I go above and beyond for my children. My career doesn’t take top preference over my family, but it is also apart of why I am an ambitious mother. I support my children to go after whatever it is that they desire to do in life by example.


Although, I respect full time SAHMs and homemakers, I go hard for my mothers who are balancing career life and their responsibilities in the home. I can only speak for myself, but I keep a well maintain home and nutritious meals on my kids plates. I make the bread and I butter it. So before you speak on career moms and what we can and cannot do, analyze your own life.

The fact that people can generalize a group of people due to their ignorance or insecurities doesn’t amaze, but amuses me. I have read so many negative comments about mothers who continue to pursue their professional passions while continuing to maintain their homes and nurturing relationships with their kids.

 For the people who say it cannot be done, or cannot be done successfully. I have proved them wrong every single time. Can I get a purrr… or whatever the young folks say!!!

Tahnee Cole

Motivating my Teenager with braces

This year has been dedicated to staying on top of health maintenance.

Due to covid, we were all behind on our dentist visits so I invested in a waterpik. But there is something about seeing your dentist and orthodontist. This year, Heaven received her braces. She was so excited, since her gap has been her biggest insecurity.

I wanted my daughter to be content with her smile so I shoved out the dollars to get her teeth corrected. With that being said, tremendous diet changes have to be made. We already knew gum was out of the question, but we didn’t consider things like corn on the cob or Texas toast. Then there were some tough blows like popcorn which is Heaven’s favorite. She now has to replace popcorn with Pirate booty.

We have learned that it takes a team to help a family member on her journey. So here are 5 tips that we use to help keep Heaven encouraged during her braces journey!

  • Follow the list- We are not cutting corners. If the dentist or orthodontist says “NO”, there is a reason and we stay away from it. We want Heaven to feel good while wearing her braces with as little discomfort as possible. Eating the wrong foods and creating bad habits can cause harm to her. We do not want a diet that will slow the process down or cause issues with her braces.
  • Find alternatives- For every little thing that Heaven cannot eat, there is something that she can eat. Daily, we are replacing some of the junk food with healthier alternatives that will keep her teeth strong and healthy. It is not easy giving up your favorite foods, but finding something else that you like can be a plus as well.
  • Don’t tease- Heaven has a younger brother who does not have braces, so there are things that they use to enjoy together that she can no longer eat. I encourage Lj to not tease her and to not eat things in front of her that she cannot eat. This does not always work, but I will continue pushing this so that Heaven will not feel tempted to revert to pre-braces life, LOL!
  • Remind her of the goal- When Heaven is feeling discouraged or disappointed about changes that have to be made. I remind her that she wanted the braces to correct her smile, and that this sacrifice temporarily on some of the foods that she loves will be worth it.
  • Stay on top of the progression- Heaven’s teeth are already moving beautifully and her gap is closing. Seeing the changes only motivates her to keep going. The positive reinforcement and seeing results reminds her that she is on the right track and that we will support her every step of the way!

Changes and Children

I had to explain to my son that life would always be changing. Rarely will everything be constant, but change can be beneficial. My son is six, a very smart six year old, but like most children change can be difficult. Family structure, new schools, new living situations, etc are always to be expected as years pass by.

But like six year olds, when we don’t initiate the change we feel uncomfortable, we feel vulnerable. I explained to my son that just like him, change whether voluntary or involuntary can also take its toll on me.

For example, I am adjusting to going from corporate savvy career woman to work at home mom. Yes, I am still a savvy, corporate career woman, but now I have the opportunity to stay at home and nurture my children, my home and work in my profession. It’s a blessing and a challenge at the same time.

Have I struggled with the change? Yes. However, I have learned to adjust to those changes by seeing the positive out the situation. Also, making adjustments and working to improve what I can around the change to make the best out of it.

After having this discussion with Jeremey we talked about the perks of some of the new changes, we even discussed some new goals we were going to make as a team. I am happy that my son can confide in me when he is uncomfortable about anything and trusts me to give him encouragement and words of wisdom.
I assured Jeremey that as long as I am breathing, I will be there to help him with all of life’s changes and challenges along the way!

Does your child struggled with change?

Planning a fun and eventful 6th Birthday for my son!

I can’t believe my littlest is 6 years old and going to first grade. Time is flying. Birthdays are always celebrated at my house. The key is to keep it fun, stress-less and affordable. Of course, I always go over my intended budget, LOL.

This year, I took off a week to celebrate with my kids. We started eating at some new places. Condado was our favorite restaurant of all the places we visited this past week. Even though we are not huge taco fans, there are days that we enjoy rice bowls, burritos, nachos and tacos. Nachos are LJ’s favorite. Something about the awesome atmosphere whenever tacos and fruity drinks are around. We were able to kick back, eat good and enjoy some laughter.

Next, we went to Fun-N-Stuff! Fun-N-Stuff is an indoor and outdoor amusement park for all ages. Rides, golf, go-kart racing, skating, bumper boats, and laser tag are some of the fun activities that you can participate in at this amusement park. Not to mention, that they make funnel cake sticks. The servings of the funnel sticks are small, but boy do you receive a sweet taste. The kids thoroughly enjoyed themselves and even did all the activities at least twice. I even participated in most activities. I was least successful at wall climbing!

Me over confident thinking I was going to tackle this wall with ease. Little did I know! lol

Visiting family, taking family photos, having a picnic and allowing the kids to spend time with the grands all led up to Lj’s big day. We wanted to make sure Lj ate good and had a fun party on his actual birthday. It was a Monday but who cares because his birthday is the first day of Summer. Meaning all of his friends are out of school and most people are happy to celebrate a little Summer Soiree. We did not invite a ton of people to his party since we are still trying to be mindful of Covid. We enjoyed lunch at Olive Garden. Lj ordered his favorite food, chicken fingers, spaghetti and fries. He was blessed with a delicious cheesecake in honor of his birthday from the Olive Garden staff!

Then we came home. I changed my dining room into Jurassic park. Lj loves dinosaurs and I couldn’t get the Fornite cake he wanted so I picked the next best thing. He was so excited when he saw the beautiful green dinosaur theme. He was blessed with his family, gifts, music, cake, ice cream and his favorite gummy bears (well dinobears)!

Overall, my baby was smiling so I would say his birthday and days prior were a success.

Hyperemesis Gravidarum

“This ain’t no regular morning sickness. I’m sick all damn day.” I said frustrated.

I couldn’t get out the tub. Work started at 7:30 am and I was still in the tub at 7:10 am. I was crying because I knew I was going to have an awful day. I would be throwing up all day and then given extra work which added more stress on me. I would be taking trips to the bathroom to throw up my insides as discreetly as possible, wash my face and then return to do it again. My days were rough.

My son’s father was staring at me. I could tell he felt helpless, there was nothing he could do. I knew there was nothing he could do, but he was the only person I could vent my frustrations to. I mean hell, it was his baby I was carrying. I looked down at my bump and I immediately started feeling sick. I barely made it out the tub and into the toilet bowl. He stood behind me to hold my hair back. I can say a lot of things about my son’s father, but one thing I can never say is that he deserted me during my pregnancy. He was at every doctor appointment and with me every step of the way. He held my spit cups, he wiped my tears, he bought all my crazy cravings, rubbed my back every night. I suffered from sciatica.

I didn’t know what hyperemesis was. I thought this was just an unlucky curse for pregnant women. I thought there was something wrong with me. I was also sick with Heaven, but after my first trimester I was back to normal. With Jr., my sickness lasted longer. I was extremely sick. I was passing out at work. None of this was a good mix for a corporate America working mom. I attributed most of the ongoing sickness to being a tad bit older (29) and then finding out I was having another gender.

On top of the physical chaos, I was working for a company that did not understand that productivity was going to be low when a woman was throwing up every twenty minutes. I wasn’t the same worker they had knew. I was a new woman, pregnant with her second child and not feeling her best. My life had changed and I felt isolated. I did my absolute best, but it wasn’t enough. As I look back now, I pat myself on the back for what I did. I salute myself for coming back to work after being in Emergency on liquids to help my dehydration from the night before. I salute myself for not cursing people out for asking me to extend myself beyond my pregnant capabilities.

However, as a mom advocate, I will never tell a mentee to accept what I accepted. I will never tell a woman to extend herself beyond her capabilities just to stay employed. I tell women to run at the first sight of ill treatment in the workplace during pregnancy, if you possible. Especially, if HR is also in alignment with the improper treatment. I always say choose yourself first. Never stress or drain yourself out trying to do what you are incapable of doing.

Hyperemesis is a real struggle to deal with and needs to be discuss more. I will never forget about my experience. Despite the circumstances, I was blessed with beautiful babies. I am proud to overcome my obstacles and share my journey with other career moms to encourage them to keep striving.

Tahnee Cole

the WAHM and SAHM confusion…

Ditch the WAHM being a SAHM CONFUSION. 

Since March I have been working remote due to the pandemic. It has been a mix of pleasure and testing my patience.

Due to personal and professional time constraints, I have learned that I can’t do it all and I’m content with that realization.

While I respect and commend moms who stay at home, because it is no simple task raising children all day. There is a huge difference between being a work-at-home mom and a stay-at-home mom. It seems easy to confuse the two.


Working at home with your children is different. I had an issue with a teacher due to me having to explain to her that I couldn’t be as present with my five year old son during a zoom lesson. I manage a high profile portfolio that requires meetings and my attention. Most of my meetings at work are arranged and facilitated by me so I have to be attentive. I tried to make arrangements for Zoom lessons to be at a more convenient time for working parents, such as lunch blocks, but it wasn’t possible. Luckily, my son was able to attend school in person and that resolved that issue.

It is as if, people tend to forget that working remote is working, but just not at the designated office. I have even had to explain to family members to not disturb me during my work hours. 

It is possible that work-at-home moms will feel extreme stress, because being at home will make you feel like a stay-at-home mom. You might even feel as though you should be showing your children more attention. While it allows you more access to your children, you still have a job to do and are doing double work. You have to make sure that you are not over extending yourself. It is important to establish rules for yourself and your family so that they understand that there are work requirements.

I am excited my kids are off for summer break soon. I am reading for vacations and no back and forth trips to school, but I will be making sure that I am not stressing myself out. This summer I will be doing major snack and meal prepping. You know that kids will eat all day if you allow them to do so. So I will be trying my best not to do too much unnecessary cooking and buying. I will be setting boundaries for when the kids can step into my workspace. My kids are usually good about doing their own thing, but there are times when I have to remind them. I will also make sure that at least a few times out the week they will be involved in some summer activities.

Being a WAHM can be challenging, but with preparation and positivity it can work out fine. Keep pushing #WAHMS !

Confidence is Key : Ways i ENCOURAGE and motivate my black son.

In a world, where young black men are often downplayed as thugs, irresponsible baby daddies, drug dealers etc. It is important to teach our children about the images that are not often on the news. The positive images. Black people are thriving and there are many positive representations of “black boy joy” and “the black man can” to inspire our sons to be their greatest self. However, many times those positive images are hidden behind all the negative depictions. We must obviously educate our young kings about what is necessary to survive, but even more so on how to thrive.

Let me tell you about 5 ways that I am encouraging my son to be his greatest self. As well as, to celebrate himself with confidence!

BOOKS …

I love the fact that there are many positive books for young black boys. Some of my favorite books come from Hey Carter Books by Dr. Thomishia Booker. These books teach my son to be comfortable and proud to be in his beautiful brown skin. They show positive representations of strong, gifted young boys. I adore the message presented to young children. My son is five and we have been reading these books since the beginning of the pandemic. We end our day with a book to help encourage him through tough school weeks and to keep reminding him of his greatness.

KNOWLEGE OF PEOPLE WHO CHANGED THE NARRATIVE…

I think it is so important to show my son examples of people who did the unthinkable. Showing him people who beat the odds. Life is not going to be easy and there will be obstacles. Showing your child a pretty perfect picture can often set them up for disappointments and defeat when they enter the real world. Instead, I show my son that obstacles can build character and that he can conquer the toughest of situations.

I also spent some time explaining to my son that even though I am his number one support system that it can be done without me. I try to teach my kids to rely on themselves, because we never know when we will only have ourselves. We must believe in ourselves when others do not. I also let them know that there are people who were successful without support so they will be a force to be reckon because they actually have support.

Lately, my son has been showing an interest in Science, but said other kids in the class thought he was weird for wanting to be a Scientist. I explained to my son that there are so many benefits of picking an unpopular purpose driven career choice. It is so easy to push our sons to athletic careers or the normal doctor, lawyer etc. These careers are also great, but I let my son know that it is possible to create a lane for himself and be damn good at it.

Extracurricular Activities…

Not only is it a great idea to keep your son in extracurricular activities for his health and wellness. It is a way to keep your child’s mind occupied with positive activities. Sports help with teamwork, leadership, focus, discipline and many other great values that will keep your child stay the course. Both my children are also following in their moms footsteps and wants to play musical instruments. I think it is very important to keep my children focused on their strengths and the positive talents that they can contribute to the world.

Positive males in his life…

My son is blessed to have a good active father in his life. He sees his dad multiple times a week and every other weekend. They have bonded since birth and he is pretty strict on how he raises Jr. I trust that he has Jeremey’s best interest at heart, and will keep him on the right path. Him having men in his life that show him how to value hard work, respect and morals will keep him focused. Many of the men in his life, dad, grandfathers, uncles, etc.. are hard-workers so he knows that nothing will just be given to him, but earned. I will also make sure that he is provided with mentors when it comes to different areas of his life. Mentors that are outside of the family that can help him with guiding him through his personal and professional life choices.

Positive self talk, Affirmations and compliments…

I am the mom to hype up her kids. I am also the mom to yell when I get upset, but I am learning that there is so much power in what you say. Giving your children positive reinforcement and positive affirmations will build them up. In a world where they will meet people who will deliberately cut them down, the last thing they need is you saying bad things about them. I definitely think this is something you have to work on daily, because as parents sometimes we tend to always correct and point out flaws, but we must focus on our children’s strengths. Especially, our young black boys who will always have to try a little Harder.

Tahnee Cole

Teaching awareness and ambition.

Since my kids have been home with me more due to the pandemic, I have more time to teach them the values and skills that will be useful for them to thrive in life. Not just survive but to live abundantly. My parents taught me a lot and with each generation we are supposed to become stronger, braver and richer. My parents raised me to reach heights higher than them and I am looking forward to my children doing the same. At their young age they have already been exposed to more knowledge than previous generations, however; it is about what they do with the knowledge they receive.

At times, as a black mom it can become very discouraging when all you see on the news is negative images and depictions of black people. Children not even making it to 18, due to police brutality, gang violence and all sorts of heinous crimes. Although, we can’t always predict what lies ahead of us, it is a must that we educate our children on practices that will help them stay as safe as possible. Whether that is watching their environment or discussing protocol when approached by an irate officer. I know hearing that sounds hopeless. In many situations, it seems like black people are doomed when it comes to being in contact with an officer especially a black man. Yet, I still want to encourage my children that bad stories does not directly tie to them. Just because you saw a story of a black man being killed by an officer does not mean your life will end that way. I’m suiting up my children to be brilliant, resilient but never ignorant. Ignorant to the fact that bad things and people are out there, but also to never be ignorant to the fact that they are powerful beings made in their Creator’s image.

It is important to stop allowing our children to feel hopeless, live in fear and not aspire to be the success story, but instead the failed one. Subconsciously, showing our children so many negative images will program them to feel inferior and discouraged. We must reprogram our children to feel like despite their obstacles they can achieve. No that doesn’t mean ignore or not acknowledge that there are bad things going on around them. There are certainly horrible events happening every day. However, manifesting is powerful. We can manifest negativity by speaking, thinking and internalizing. I know that what you speak can come to past. What you think can come to past and words are curses. We must teach our children to speak life over their life, to indulge into the positive aspects of what life has to offer and to know their strengths.

Once our young black children are encouraged and feel confident in who they are and their abilities, they will be a force to be reckon with. Every day I show my children a success story. I teach them all of the famous African Americans who have invented creations that has made life easier for humanity. They learn about their ancestors who were brave and paved the way for them. We don’t focus on slavery movies that only show us as helpless slaves who could not make a difference. A difference was indeed made. My children will make changes and difference. My children will thrive and they will live out their divine purpose with awareness, but an ambitious mindset!

Tahnee Cole

The Working Mom Chaos…

I recall a time I felt the entire pressure of being a working mom.

I felt judged. I was already late to the parent meeting. I know they heard my heels clicking as fast as they could down the hall. I got myself together, clutched my purse and controlled my breathing. I found a seat in the front. There were no chairs in the back that would save me the embarrassing feeling of being late.

Most of the moms were in sweats, so they may have just thought I was fashionably late. But no, my fancy ensemble was because I was a career mom. What they didn’t know is I had damn near killed myself to get to this meeting. I was on the highway screaming, “Move b—–, get out the way” In my best Ludacris impersonation.

I had made a promise to attend these meetings to show that I was more than concerned and all about my daughter’s progression and education. These meetings though were unrealistic to my schedule. Most of the meetings for working parents were unrealistic. I called my son’s dad to let him know that I was at Heaven’s school and that he could meet me in the parking lot to drop LJ off. He worked third shift and needed to get to work. The meeting was still going on and by now I had warmed up and was giving my input. The parents were actually enjoying what I was suggesting. Partly because they trusted my judgment. I just looked the part of a professional, so it wasn’t hard convincing people that I knew what was best. The meeting was getting good. Heaven was off to the side playing with her classmates.

Jeremey called and said he was outside with little Jay. I had to excuse myself and go get my baby. At the time LJ was about 5 months. When I came back of course people were ranting and raving about how adorable he was. Even mentioning that I didn’t even look like I had a baby that small, let alone 2. I was holding LJ and trying to still participate in the meeting. That was until he realized the breast he adored were concealed with a sweater that went all the way to my neck. Why the hell did I wear a damn turtleneck with this suit? I asked myself. He started tugging and twisting his body so that he could get to the milkies. I looked down at his baby bag to see if there was a bottle, but no. I looked down and his face looked distressed and then came that cry.

If give me the damn milk was a person, Jeremey was him. I gave in to avoid the cry. A little breast never hurt anyone. I was sure they had all seen one before. I discreetly lifted up my shirt, stuck LJ in and under my shirt. I then closed my blazer and went on taking. LJ didn’t like the blazer so he took it off his head and made sure my breast was exposed. Then he had the nerve to look at me. By this time I was like F— it. I was exhausted. I just fed him and finished the meeting. When the meeting was over, I had to gather his car seat, baby bag and my purse. I had to bargain and beg with Heaven to stop playing with her friends so that we could go home. I held her hand, carried LJ in his car seat and walked across the long parking lot. Feeling exhausted from work and parent life this day, I knew it would be some challenging days ahead of us.

Tahnee Cole

The Pandemic and Corporate America Working Parents

It was nothing new to me. Being a working mom can be rough. I’m always making adjustments. When the babysitter couldn’t make it to watch Jr, I had to adjust. When Heaven had early days out of school or snow days, major adjustments. There was usually always some weekly or monthly inconvenience for me. Now the whole world was making an adjustment.

Ironically, just before the Pandemic hit my department had just discussed the new rules for remote working. They were allowing us to work from home more often, little did they know Covid would be forcing us to work remote a lot more than they anticipated. My son was currently in his first year of preschool and Heaven had just started middle school.

Ironically, before this occurrence I was already thinking about summer camp plans. Plus, I knew soon Jr. would be starting kindergarten in the fall. So, I was already worried about how I would arrange my schedule to pick up and drop off both my kids, to and from school. It seems like as a mom, you are constantly thinking ahead. No days off, even in your head.

But when Covid hit, it hit different. Large companies were requiring workers to stay home and if permitted to work from home. The pandemic had forced many corporate companies to be flexible . Or should I say, allow their workers to be flexible. It was now the CEO that had no place to send their children. They were suddenly like the lower level workers. It was a must to let working parents have flexibility.

Covid, had no discrimination and for once, we all felt helpless. It is very unfortunate that it takes major events to realize that working parents need flexibility. This may have been new to many, but working parents go through struggles often with balancing family and career life. Especially, workers who are not paid top dollar or have a spouse that can stay home and tend to the children. Many parents need remote working options and more flexible schedules. This flexibility should continue regardless of Covid dying down. Despite the fact that we have a vaccine created to help us manage to coincide with this nasty virus, our need for balance is still the same. Human Resources should still make sure there are policies in place that will help working parents have schedules that are conducive to family life.

Overworked and stressed parents do not work efficiently and effectively. Yes, working from home is not the easiest while children are at home or doing virtual lessons. However, think about the convenience and flexibility when children are able to go back to school. There will be less PTO used for snow days if parents can stay home, and work when weather conditions prove to be too hazardous to commute. Think of the parents who can use their flexibility to provide their children transportation to and from school. Or get a chance to make sure they are on and off the buses and home safe. Think about the parents who will be able to attend after school programs, teacher conferences, etc. Flexibility is a must and the pandemic showed us that.

Although, there were many parents who worked in industries that could not work from home, there are many parents who had the opportunity. Many of those parents admitted that even though remote working had it’s difficulties, there were many perks. Covid created a lot of chaos, but helped put into perspective how we have been living our daily lives.

Tahnee Cole

The Mommy Motivator!

Too Sexy for work. Are black women criticized more?

“Girl they told me to go home and change my shirt. And I could possibly get written up for having to leave. I don’t get it, the other girls wear shirts just like this, but nobody says anything.”

I was packing my lunch and trying to get Apollo settled as I listened to my friend complain. See Alana is built like a stallion. About 5’8 and curves like a back road. Blessed with long athletic legs, big melons for breast and a gorgeous face to match. She can’t hide in a crowd if she tried. It seemed like no matter what she wore it was an issue. Unfortunately, since she is blessed with this body, she can’t hide it. It doesn’t matter what she wears. Her body is going to stand out.

I listened before I agreed that I thought she was being centered out. She was the only black woman in her department. The other women wore mini skirts and low cut tops, but for some reason they were never called out about their appearance. The chaos about clothing always got started when Alana showed up. I asked Alana to send me a picture of her in her top.

Hmmm, it looked regular to me. No cleavage. No tatts. Just perky double d’s in a blouse. She couldn’t help that. No sweater would hide it.

Alana is not the only black woman I know who has gone through this type of treatment. I myself have been victim of discrimination and nitpicking for my clothing. Especially, when I was younger and always turning heads. It was as if I was penalized if a man stared too long, or if I received compliments. I noticed a bunch of struggles when I worked with the public. Plus, I had the bubbly personality to match.

I do believe that you should be mindful and dress appropriately for work. No super low cut tops or skirts up your butt . But a form fitting dress, paired with a blazer on a black woman is still seen as sexy. It seems at times that no matter what we wear, it does not fit the professional standards.

I know how it was. Being a woman who wanted to add some sassiness to a business suit. I totally understood Alana. Although, I don’t have as many curves as Alana. Being a petite woman I have an ample backside. So my pencil skirts stand out and eyes will notice. Comments will be made and oh the shade…

As I sit around with my female friends with rich melanin, we compare corporate notes and it is amazing the stories. If not discrimination for our hair, it is our curves. Then it is how we talk. It is our swag. It forces so many women to try to conform to an image that is not authentic. It forces women of color to try to dim their light in order to blend in. Knowing damn well, we cannot blend in.

Fortunately, I have not personally experienced this in the current corporation that I am employed. Because honestly if I did, I would be looking elsewhere. I suggest that to any woman of color or woman period who feels that they can no longer be themselves. It is one thing to be conservative and to be mindful of your image. It is another to have to be played down and treated unfairly, because of your unique and God-blessed beauty.

-Tahnee Cole

What I did when I was laid off…

If you have been following me for awhile, then you will know about my story in 2017.

I got laid off in April, 2017.

Yes, two kids, single and I was back hitting the ratchet streets of job search avenue. In the beginning,

I felt scared. Scared to start over and start something new. Then I felt relieved…

Honestly, I had grew tired and stressed at the corporation where I worked. I was at the point in life where I didn’t really fit in. Having a second child had added to my discomfort. Not uncomfortable as a mom, but as a career woman. Being set free had created fear and relief at the same time.

During my time off, I had great pleasure in being able to spend more time with my kids. At the time, my daughter was 9 and my son was almost 2. That year gave me extra time with them and I soaked up every moment.

Then I felt pressured to find something new and solid. I had responsibilities, a home, a car, growing children and we needed medical care. So as you can see, being laid off can bring on a ton of emotions. I am in no way saying it will be easy at all. Especially, depending on your financial situation. I was lucky enough that I had a severance cushion, unemployment and a decent savings account. Some people are not as lucky, but I want to share with you some things you can do to help sustain your well-being. Especially, since many people have experienced lay-offs during the pandemic. Take a look at some of my tips below.

10 things to do when laid off…

  1. Seek a mentor– I met my mentor during my layoff and she gave me a pep talk. Not only did she talk me into returning to Corporate America, but to also create a solid business plan before I exited stage left. She also encouraged me to put a portion of my severance pay in an emergency fund. A mentor is there to encourage you, but also to give you tough love and solid advice. We have to seek counsel outside of our own thoughts. This is the time you need to seek help to make well thought out decisions.
  2. Update Resume- My resume went from basic chick to Rockstar. I made sure that I emphasized everything I had accomplished and contributed the last five years. It was no time to be modest. No more listing basic job functions, my resume set me apart. Straight, to the point and highlighting your strengths is what your updated resume should look like. Make sure to get someone to help or research ways to improve your resume.
  3. Attend job workshops– I attended a job workshop that not only helped with interviewing and resume writing. It also sent me direct job leads. Look for workshops that will help you improve your job skills and connect you to valuable resources.
  4. network– Now is not the time to be shy. LinkedIn, word of mouth, email, reach out to recruiters, etc. Its time to put yourself out there and connect with people who will help you achieve your professional goals. Networking can put you in places that sending just your resume online cannot. Get out there and get social.
  5. create a business or hOBBy– This is the time to go ahead and launch your idea or business. Not only is it a way to bring in money, but you have more time. Many people develop businesses during times that seem inopportune. Also, a new hobby could help activate your mind and hinder your job loss depression.
  6. spend time with family– In 2017, I spent so much time with my children. We spent time going to events. Being laid off is no fun and can be stressful. But as a mom, you want to make the best out or any situation. Don’t waste years and moments being depressed. Try to find joy in capturing moments with the kids.
  7. load up on positive self careAffirmations, vision board events and self care practices will help your cope with job loss. This is the time that you need to take extra care of your mind, body and soul. That your chances of into depression and develop anxiety is lessened.
  8. Take classes– If you can go back to school or take classes, take advantage. I took free PowerPoint classes at the library to sharpen my skills. I even enrolled in some free exercising classes. I know some moms who have finished degrees during times of being laid off. Anything is possible.
  9. Save money and downsize– Even if you received a huge severance pay, not is not the time to overspend. It is time to save, invest and watch your spending. If you can downsize where you live or move in with a family member, do it. There is no sense trying to stress yourself when you have the option to reduce some heavier burdens,
  10. Apply for the career you desire– Now is the time to go after what you truly want. Apply to the company you desired to work for. You were set free to go to the next level. Learn about your desire career, make connections and then go for it.

I used all of these tips, and before I knew it I was working for a better corporation. I hope these tips will help you. Please share any tips that I have missed. Thanks for reading!

Tahnee Cole

The Mommy Motivator