New Year Parent Goals

Most of us come up with New Year Resolutions but it is important to work on our parenting skills. Great parents are created from hard work and dedication. I thought it would be neat to collect 17 parent goals to work on for 2017.I collected ideas from wonderful moms from work, school, church, online etc. Check them out and don’t hesitate to add your goals in the comments below.

1.Lindsay Perez

My kids are  Matthew 8, Elijah 5 Samuel 2

Goal: Spending more time with my husband coming up with plans for our kids future.  My goal is for us to start being team players more.

2.Saniyah McRoth

My kids are Tiffany 5, Taylor 3

Goal: Spending more time teaching my kids about giving back to the community and being more grateful for their many blessings.

3.Elois McElrath

My Kids are Zuri 5, Zaria 2

Goal: Finding more programs to teach my girls about their culture and starting traditions related to our culture.

4.Ebony Glass

My kid is Vassel 5

Goal: To prepare my son for Kindergarten (homeschooling) and working on his speech.

5.Taneisha Peterson

My kid is Marlo 3

Goal: Emphasizing the importance of self love and respect for himself and for others.

6.Christina Bates

My kids are Jacob 5, Caleb 3

Goal: Teaching my boys the importance of saving and investing money.

7.Melonee Sumlin

My kids are Camryn & Christian 10, Cai 3

Goal: Teaching my kids to take pride in everything they do and strive for greatness.

8.Chanel Antionette

My kids are  Marie 13, Amia 8, Mariah 7, Brayden 6

Goal: To continue to work on positive emotional development and help them deal with the changing digital age to become successful teens.

9.Broke Venici

My kids are Mark 9, Levi 7

Goal: To be a more hands on mom. Less time with the babysitter and more time with me.

10.Trinity Jones

My kids are Sammie 3, Layla 18 months

Goal: Stressing the importance of reading even though they are still young. I want to start them early!

11.Daphne Lewis

My kids are Delonte 8, Damian 7, Diomini 6

Goal: Having time with each of my boys separately to focus on their individuality.

12.Ashly Jones

My kids are Angelo 15, Kenneth 6

Goal: Having more organization.

13.Maple Roberts

My kids are Sky 7, Journee 5, Jimani 3, Oscar 1

Goal: More focus on social skills. More play dates!

14.Lithia Howard

My kids are Lewis 9, Xavier 7

Goal: More family vacations. Teaching my kids that there is more to life than just work all day.

15.Mosaic Jones

My kids are Tamia 10, Tatianna 8

Goal: Teaching my girls the importance of great hygiene and self care.

16.Krystal Robinson

My kid is Milania 4

Goal: I want to teach my daughter the importance of Spirituality and the power of prayer. It is important to me that she has a relationship with God. I also want to travel the world more and show my daughter different places and cultures.

Finally 17 Me

My kids are Heaven 9 Jeremey Jr. 18 months

Goal: I want to continue teaching my children a mindset that will lead them to live an abundant and successful life. I want to raise entrepreneurs who understand the power of their purpose and gifts to offer to the world!

Thanks to all the Super Moms who shared their 2017 goals! It is going to be a great year!

 

MY BOOK PICK OF THE MONTH

I can not stress how important it is to stay grounded in your spirituality. Finding peace within will get you through a lot of storms. I have been a Christian for a long time, but my faith has waivered countless times. I am glad that I started my spiritual life when I was younger because the foundation was set. Even though I stray away I always return remembering what God has brought me through time and time again.

On my journey to be the best version of myself  I read a lot.  I study many people who were distressed; however, they found the power within themselves to create the life that they desired. I  dedicate each morning to nurture my spiritual life. I meditate, I pray and I show gratitude for all I have and all that I will have. I try to make it my business to read books that uplift me and help me continue on my journey to be the best I can be.

My book of choice this month is: Change me Prayers by Tosha Silver.

I love this book! This book helps the reader to stay grounded and evolve. Rather than praying to change a situation your prayers involve changing  your perspective.  The book puts a major focus on gratitude, confidence and surrendering all your cares to a high divine power.  Tosha did a great job of demonstrating that sometimes situations are made to strengthen our patience, wisdom and tolerance. Also to teach us to show mercy in order to receive mercy. This book is great if you are experiencing trials and want to know how you can find peace in the midst of a storm. It’s a great read!

change-me-prayer

X MAS PICTURES

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Yes, Christmas family photo time. I love family photos and since my little family is changing everyday I enjoy capturing every moment. Usually I go to Portrait Innovations or Target, but this year I wanted something more personal and different. I decided to support one of my high school buddies photography business. You can search her on Facebook under Creatively Cleveland Photography- Liz Healey.  Boy am I glad I did. Not only did we have a blast catching up we took some very classic photos at the location of our choice. We selected the Rockefeller Cleveland Greenhouse which was decked out in Christmas trees and Poinsettia plants. There were so many gorgeous displays that helped make the pictures look very festive. The kids and I went for a dressy look for our photos since we usually do a more casual look. I really enjoyed myself. I will be showing the photos in the next blog when I receive them, but the featured image is a sneak preview. I encourage all families to take pictures. Find the time no matter how big or small your family is. The days are long but the years are short. Happy Holidays!

another-christmas-pic

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEAVEN!

Today is my first born baby girl’s birthday. My first child and my first headache. Just kidding! I am reflecting on today and amazed that nine years has passed. Amazed that this is the last year that my daughter is in her single digits.

However, I am thinking a lot about the years and what my daughter and I have been through. I remember when I first had her and how I envisioned life to be so different. Things started out great. She was welcomed by two parents who adored her and wanted her before she was even born. Her dad and I were starting our lives together. Looking for a proper home, me trying to juggle college and then suddenly he was incarcerated when she was a little over one.

But life goes on…

I had to pick up the pieces, finish college and raise her on my own. I remember when I even took her to college with me during my interior design class. There were so many days that I didn’t think I could go on. I was exhausted trying to study and nurse a baby.  I remember some days only getting a couple hours of sleep because of work, studying and trying to raise her. Thank God for my support system which was mostly my mom watching her while I studied and went to night classes.

Then I remember when I finished college. My baby girl was in the audience when I walked across the stage and got my degrees. She was in the audience clapping and rooting me on sitting on my moms lap.

Life continued…

I entered the corporate world and got a banking job. Then my daughter and I began to spend more time together enjoying the fruits of my labor. I was able to provide for her and life was starting to look up. There has been even more changes with my career, and Heaven is now a big sister now. However,  I just had to reflect on how much my daughter and I endured together. From watching her say her first word, take her fist step, start her first day of school I look at Heaven and I feel proud. I am really hard on myself but looking at how much she has accomplished in school and the type of young lady she is I feel secure that we are on the right path. I know we can do anything! My baby reads my blog everyday. She is my number one fan.

So to Heaven: I really love you and mommy is really the woman she is today because of you. Everyday I strive to be better because you push me to. Happy Birthday Doll!

 

Be a Motivator. Don’t be Nag.

It is so easy to become a strict disciplinarian when it comes to raising your children. The fear is  that if we are too lenient our children will get caught up with the wrong crowd. The truth is even if we are strict they still may make poor choices.  Sometimes we impose unrealistic expectations out of fear which causes miscommunication, self esteem issues, and a lack of individuality. All of these internal issues are very harmful to your child’s personal development .

I would describe myself as straightforward no nonsense mom. My parenting style can be a bit tough because I am a single mom and sometimes I feel I have to work twice as hard to make up for the missing parent in the household. However, not only did I start evaluating changes that needed to be made in my financial life, emotional and physical life. I also realized I need to revaluate some things I was doing as a parent as well. A lot of us (including myself) live by the ‘do as I say not as I do’ rule. This rule is definitely not helpful when trying to give your child proper guidance.

As I was evaluating my parenting style I found myself being a little harder on my eight year old than I should. Mostly because I think my daughter is brilliant and has unlimited potential; however, there are times I do not think she applies herself as she should.  Although, I thought I was doing everything correct as a mom, something shifted when I started making some changes in my parenting style. I started motivating and not nagging! Who like a nag? I’ll wait…

Once I started to use motivational  techniques to help my daughter in school and even doing her chores I saw positive results instantly. There is nothing wrong with firmly correcting your children when they are wrong; however, you have to find the fine line between instructing and nitpicking.

Below are some techniques and Ideas I use to help my children and I plan to improve on them over time!

1.Easy on the Criticism– You do not have to criticize everything your child does wrong. We do not like people picking on everything we do as adults. Imagine your boss standing behind you telling you what you did wrong every second of the day. Yeah, pretty annoying right? Do you think your child like constant criticism? Of course not so give them room for error. If they make mistakes they will learn. Obviously prevent them from making mistakes that will cause them harm, but let some things go.

2.The Cause and Effect Principle- After they make a  mistake that you feel needs correcting explain to them why it is helpful to make a better choice. If they understand the possible outcomes they can do better at not making the same mistake again. Also, help with giving them examples of alternative decisions they could have made for more positive results.

3.Open Communication– Not only should you express how you feel, but allow your child to do the same. Both parties should do so respectfully. No yelling. No cursing. No judging and interrupting. Just clear communication. Talk to your children rather than at them. I have learned that even though I am the parent my children do not need me to talk down to them as if they are less than. They deserve respect and should not feel belittled. Let your child explain how they feel when they are in trouble. Communication makes things a lot easier between you and your child. You want to establish trust and trust is key to having a healthy relationship. Clear communication allows your children to understand cut and dry what is expected from them.

4.Reward Do something fun! All work and no play makes everyone uptight and boring. Let them know they did a great job. Of course we expect our children to do the right thing, but they also appreciate getting a reward. You don’t work for free do you? You work to be compensated. When they do a good job let them know it by doing something they love. Even an acknowledgment and a hug is a wonderful treat to give.

Keep the MOTIVATION flowing!

From the Desk of Tahnee Cole

 

 

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Super Readers!

The majority of my life has been spent in the Library. My dad was a librarian for 32 years so my winter breaks and days off I spent a great deal of time at the library. I was never a reading fanatic but I love to write. I read enough to know what type of writing style I wanted to imitate. I also read enough to know a variety of things of different topics.

However, I knew when I had children of my own I would want them to be great readers and to be involved in many of the activities in the library. If you don’t take your children to the library you are really missing out on something. Stop worrying about them being too loud because the library is not as uptight as back in the day. Here are five good reasons why the library is a wonderful place to take your children of all ages.

  1. It’s free– No admission to get in and you don’t have to pay for the items. All you have to do is return them in good condition. Having a library card and taking care of the items helps children with responsibility. My daughter was so happy to receive her first library card. She thought it was like mommy’s credit cards.
  2. You can learn about different cultures if you can’t travel. Let’s be honest most of us will never be able to travel to every place in the world but that shouldn’t stop us from exploring by reading and virtual tours. I try to teach my daughter about a different culture and country as much as I can.
  3. The community– I go to different libraries but mostly the one in my neighborhood. We attend the 6:30 reading hour on Wednesday where we listen to stories. Very often important figures of the community stop by the library to interact with children. It helps to strengthen the bond between individuals and their community/neighborhood.
  4.  They have toys now– The library looks like fun now. There are so many toys for all ages, puzzles, games, computers and many other interactive tools to keep your children entertained. The colors of the library are children friendly and there is so much to keep your little ones amused.
  5. Consistent visits promotes reading. My daughter has always been a great reader but I am noticing how much my son who is only 1 enjoys going to the library. His big sister reads to him and he enjoys the toy stations. I can only imagine how far he will be in picking out words and sounds by the time he is two next year. You will notice how much your child’s reading and interest in the library improves with each visit.

    The Picture above is my children at a local library. It is beautifully decorated with interactive toys.

Fundraising Frenzy

Is it just me or do other moms get stressed over the fundraisers? Gone are the days of the $0.50 cent or $1.00 candy bars. My daughter is selling gourmet sauces, cookie dough and pastries. The cheapest item you can purchase is $13.00!  Now that may not seem like much but when you are on a budget every dollar counts. What is even more stressful is that it seems like the deadline approaches two minutes of receiving the order form. So the pressure is on me to sell as soon as my daughter hands me the magazine booklet.

Obviously since I spend the majority of my waking hours at work I target my co-workers. Typically, most of them have school aged children and they are selling items as well. So now my co-workers are all bombarded with multiple orders. So I try to find a balance with being able to get some orders for my child without being a nag. Not to mention if someone buys from your kid you feel awkward if you do not support their child. So I find myself selling and buying a lot during the school year.

Now that Heaven is older I also allow her to target our neighbors, family and friends. It is hard for them to say no to such a sweet angelic face. This teaches her to be responsible and to support her own mission without mommy doing all the work. Nevertheless, I always manage to sell as many items as possible. Our goals are always met because it helps a worthy cause, my co- workers are pleased with their sweets and Heaven gets a prize! Mission Complete.

 

 

 

10 FALL SEASON MUST DO’S

I LOVE THE FALL SEASON. THERE ARE SOME THINGS I LOVE DOING WITH MY KIDDIES AND YOU SHOULD TRY THEM TOO!

  1. Jump in a Pile of Leaves
  2. Make fall Sweets- My favorites are Candy Apples, Pecan Pie, Pumpkin Pie Rolls and Anything Pumpkin and Apple Spiced!
  3. Go to A Pumpkin Patch/ Fall Festival
  4. Drink Some Apple Cider
  5. Carve Pumpkins
  6. Wear a Cozy Sweater and Scarf
  7. Go for A Hayride
  8. Eat a Big Pot of Something Hot- ex. Soup, Chili, Gumbo!
  9. Watch A Halloween Cartoon
  10. Go to a football game

Trying Is Winning

 

I am so proud of my daughter. She was very disappointed when she got home because she ran for President of her class; unfortunately, she did not win. I had no knowledge that my daughter wanted to run for President.  If I did I would have helped her with her speech. I was a little upset that she didn’t inform me. My first reaction was to get upset at why she did not tell me.  I could have perfected her speech. I could helped her with persuasive and politically correct words!  We would have run a real campaign! LOL

I ask her to read her speech to me and she did. Her speech was about the impact she would made by helping her class turn in all homework on time and eliminating bullying. Instead of being upset, I listened to the effort and the authenticity my child delivered from her speech to her classmates. I was impressed. I instantly gave my daughter a hug and praised her on making her own decision. She had a goal and worked on achieving it independently. I was ecstatic thinking that my daughter thought about this all by herself. She even showed me a web chart she made to brainstorm her ideas.

After the recognition and praise Heaven let me know that she was disappointed. She explained that now that she is not the President her ideas would not come to pass. So I had to ensure my daughter that the President is only the voice for all voices. I explained to my daughter that it is her responsibility to voice her concerns. She can also help support the President. I told her that instead of taking this as a loss, she should be proud for trying and now focus on being a team player.

Unfortunately, if the president does not do his/her job properly I gave her a little information on Impeachment!