Today at my daughter’s school they did a training drill if an intruder entered the school. Hearing my daughter explain the fear she felt while blocking the doors and hiding in the coat room made my heart sank. I don’t want to discuss this too much, but it saddens me that we have to prepare our children for situations like this. I really wish life was different but we live in a very cruel world with a lot of tormented souls. Everyone kids your children, try to prepare them for the worst and stay prayed up. Goodnight!
I stand outside your bedroom door and I pray for you.
A special kind of prayer only a mother can do
I pray for your protection
This same prayer since birth
I dread that some days you will not look at your brown skin as a gift,
But more like a curse
I pray for the stereotypes you will have to endure daily
And I cry inside praying nobody will ever hurt my baby
I don’t buy toy guns, not even water guns for play
I am afraid you might play with the wrong person on the wrong day
I’m watching how I dress you
Is this too hood for the police?
Please son, don’t get caught up in these streets
I’m watching what shoes you put on
Are these too fresh for the poor?
I don’t want you to get attacked because the boys want some shoes like yours
I don’t want you to wear a hoodie and be accused as a thief
Because I know to some your life is less valuable than the police chief
I know you are a baby but these are my fears
I can’t help but say I’m sorry, I can’t help my tears
I’m praying for your success
I know it will be tough being you
But I know you can succeed those labels aren’t true
You aren’t a deadbeat dad and you will not abandon your children’s mother
You will have love for humanity and always respect your father and mother
You will protect your sisters and have integrity
You will accomplish your goals and still have humility
But there will still be those who don’t like you and make you feel you aren’t good enough
But mommy wants you to stand firm, believe in yourself and be tough
And I’ll continue to support you, protect you and teach you the right things to do
And I pray a special prayer only a mother can do…
I was just thinking about all my oldest child has been through and I am very proud of her. Sometimes we are so focused on our daily lives we forget the things our children experience. They are people too and they have feelings. Situations can affect them and life can truly make an impact on them in ways we can’t comprehend.
For the longest it had only been my daughter and I due to her father’s incarceration. My daughter was a little over a year when her dad received a 25 year life sentence. Although, they still have remained pretty close from phone contact, mail and occasional visits life is still different. I think for years I was over compensating for her missing dad by making sure that she never feels like she is raised in a single parent home. I found myself often over exerting myself with buying more than what she needed. My biggest concern was the she never missed out on anything especially when it came to entertainment and extracurricular activities. My daughter is a very resilient and observant girl. She refuses to give up which is one of the reasons why she learned how to ride a bike in two days. Despite any circumstances she looks at the bright side of everything and continues to put effort into being the best she can be.
Now that my daughter is 8 going on 9 I talk to her about a lot. I explain to her that she has a divine purpose. I never sugarcoat anything. I explain to her that there will be evil and obstacles that will try to prevent her from attaining her goals. However, I assure her that if she keeps her mind, heart, body and soul in balance that she can do anything. I describe to her the importance of keeping only people around her who are concerned about her being her best self. As well as I try to lead by example by being selective with who I bring around.
As I have gotten older I have made more of an effort to focus on making sure that I spend more time helping my daughter in life with words of wisdom and giving her things that money cannot buy. I am trying to instill in her integrity, courage, wisdom, common sense and humility. I believe that if she has those traits along with her gifts and talents she is unstoppable. I have also taught my daughter that life may not always be the way you want and circumstances can be difficult. However, nothing last forever! The best thing to do is focus on what you have to get what you desire. I think my daughter is going to be more than a conqueror and I cannot wait to see her achieve all the things I did not.
My daughter told me that she loved being a sister. Yes, she said this with enthusiasm! I totally believe her because she absolutely adores her brother. Although, she wanted a sister in the beginning she adjusted to her brother extremely well. I can honestly say despite their age different they are the best of friends. Here are some things I did to help their bond grow naturally so far…
- Don’t FORCE it– Let the bond grown naturally and uniquely. They will have their own unique relationship and they don’t need you to try to force it upon them. Stop trying to force them to cuddle or spend time together. They will bond when the time is right!
- Be Upfront– Let the older sibling know what will and will not change. I always remind my daughter that my love for her has not diminished because I have another child now. I did let he know that I will have to divide my time, but there is enough mommy to go around for everyone.
- Alone time– I find time for each child by themselves. For example, when LJ has “boy time” with dad I spend time with just my Heaven. During this time we do something that she wants, we eat what she likes and focus all our time on her needs and wants. Having multiple children incorporates a lot of sharing, so alone time gives them a chance to not have to share.
- Emphasize the benefits of being the BIG one– I let my daughter know how important her role as the Big sister is. She is the “Head Honcho”. I let her know that her brother is watching everything she does and is inspired by her. I have also made her feel even more special by increasing her Chores and allowance!
- Ask Advice- it’s important to get feedback from your child. Ask them how things are going and how they are feeling. Open communication helps everyone. It is very important to make sure that your children are content and they know that you care. Change is not always easy but it is necessary in life. Once your kids realize that you are making a huge effort to include them in your decisions the transition will be a lot easier.
As I began to transform my life into a more positive mindset my food choices started to change. Things that I craved before just didn’t satisfy me anymore. I didn’t want processed foods. I didn’t and I still don’t want fast foods. Coming from a woman who used to live at McDonalds during my college years, I thought I would never hear the day that I say Mickey D’s disgust me. Now I am not putting down anyone who wants to indulge in French fries or a MC Flurry, but you are what you eat. If you feel sluggish and sick don’t be surprised if it happens as soon as you eat those darn fries.
I have slowly transitioned from not only eliminating fast food and processed food to a more plant based diet. I still eat chicken and fish and hopefully one day I will totally eliminate meat. The better I eat the more mental clarity and energy I have. If I happen to mess up and eat something processed my body can tell instantly and my mind will recognize it as well. I am on the road to eat better so that I can preserve my body. We are not here forever and our bodies are not here to last for eternity. However, we should do whatever we can to make sure that we treat our bodies with care. I have made it a habit to transform my lifestyle by making sure I keep my mind, body and soul balanced. Daily mediation/prayer, exercise and good healthy food keeps me going strong and long.
After a hard day it is helpful to SMILE. There are 5 things I do when I feel like a hard day of work is intervening with the happiness of my home life.
- Leave my troubles at work– It is ok to be upset and tired from work, but don’t carry it home. My daughter always asks how my day was and I keep it brief. Me having a bad day is not her problem. We have to learn to separate work from home and not focus on the day we had.
- Unwind– I usually take a hot shower and recommend that the children do the same. I tell the kids to take off the work and school day germs. Water rejuvenates you and a refresh body helps refresh the mind.
- Enjoy dinner– eating a hearty dinner with light conversation always eases the tension of the day.
- Get off Social Media– I work on the computer all day so I try to minimize technology usage after work. I am not perfect and yes I still use my social media, but it’s getting much better. I’m still a work in progress!
- Do something Fun– I make it a habit to do something fun with the kids such as: baking cookies, going for a walk, going to the library, playing a board game or watching a movie. Doing something fun distracts you from thinking about the work day.
- Lastly, Laugh– laughter is good for the soul and when I want to get rid of a hard day of stress my children and I laugh. We are all goofy so anything can get us going!!!
On June 1, 2016 my children and I moved into a new home. A rented home with a huge backyard. The home has 3 bedrooms, a dining room, an office space (YAY for me!) and a basement. We are still in the same suburb which is great because my daughter still attends the same school. My old apartment was 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and on the second floor. When my son came the plan was for him to have his own room.
It was very exciting creating his own room. So my DIY project was to make sure that everything in his room clearly stated that a little boy lived here. A Thomas the train bed, and balls all over. What are some themes that you use for your kids rooms? I would love to hear some ideas for organization and comments.
Nature walks are great for exercise and entertainment. My kids and I do a nature walk Thursday evening and early Sunday morning. We don’t just do any old ordinary walk though. We do an “I SEE” walk. I think of a list of things that we might see on our walk.
Today’s list is:
- Blue car
- Green leaf
- Red flower
- Black dog
- Brown Bunny.
The kids love this game. Try it out and let me know if that spruced up your nature walk!