Usually, I never feel out of place because I don’t compare myself to others. However, I felt really weird after having a conversation with a group of moms at our kids reading time. One mom in particular.
We were all at a round table, drinking coffee and peeking in at our children to make sure they were behaving. I didn’t pay attention to me being black until one of the moms said, “it is so nice to see some color and not just moms like me.” I smiled and then there was awkward silence.
“Are you from around here?” she said.
One of the other moms who was also caucasian looked annoyed. I could tell she was thinking enough already with the awkward small talk.
I was wondering where she had been, because we attended this reading event frequently. I was not a newbie. If I was not mistaken, I had seen her a couple times and she usually never said anything.
Today, must have been a good day to be nosey. Maybe she had friendly intentions so I decided to entertain her a little, with very little info.
“I’m from a different suburb, but my mom lives over here.” I said after taking a sip of my coffee.
I pulled out my laptop and she wanted to continue the conversation. Instead, she just made a general comment amongst everyone.
“Isn’t it good to be out of the house ladies? Stay at home mom life can be something else.” She said as if she was sighing.
A few of the moms laughed in unison and shook their heads in agreeance.
She went on..
“Granted, we still have to chase them around the library, but at least it is nice to let the Librarian keep their attention for a moment.” she said.
She focused her attention on me. I was certain she could tell by my business suit and laptop that I was probably not a SAHM.
“I only know about career mom life, but I get you.” I said smiling.
“Omg, how do you do it? I would miss my kids so much and would not want anyone else raising them.” Her face was turned up as if I had given my kids up for adoption.
The other moms looked surprised that she had the nerve.
The irony of her just being happy having momentary freedom, but then speaking on missing her children if she had a career made me chuckle.
I smiled and remained classy.
“I wouldn’t say raise them per say. My definition of raising might be a tad different from yours though. I’m the sole provider so I have to make a living. Besides, having multiple strong influences, and individuals assisting me with taking care of my children is vital to my family structure. I love having a strong village to help support me, while I take on the world. I am dedicated to showing my kids I am multi-talented and capable of achieving my goals. Providing them with a living example of success and perseverance. Yes, I miss my kids, but I would be missing me if I was not living in my purpose. I spend plenty of time with them even when I am exhausted, like right now. The librarian is watching over my son now, but she is not raising him. It is great to stay at home, but that is not the life all moms desire. Nor do all moms have that opportunity, even if they did want to.” I said.
She smiled and looked a little embarrassed. Then spoke, “oh no, I meant no harm or offense, you are commendable. I wish I had the drive.”
I handed her the card to search my blog.
“Different strokes for different folks. All mom life is a challenge…
“Agreed” said another mom winking at me.
-Tahnee Cole
BLACK PUMPS PINK SLIPPERS 