Honest Mom Series: I am allowed to feel this way…

So I’m going to be honest, not many people will take me serious when I say that I often suffer from body issues. If you return to a small frame after having a baby, most people say you have great snapback. Or whatever you want to call your body returning to its similar pre-baby shape.

Most moms are aware of the differences from their prenatal and postpartum body. Whether the changes are dramatic or slightly noticeable. Many women have to overcome many challenges when it comes to accepting their body for what it is. Especially, if they are against surgery. And for those who aren’t against hard work, working out!

Yes, I get a ton of compliments daily on my post baby physique. Many people say I still look to be in my  20s and without any kids.

I slightly agree. I know the difference. I see the changes.

I will say that I am not disgusted with my shape.  I’m damn proud of being a mom, but it is natural to feel, different.

I think it happens when I compare how I use to look after staring at a photo from the past. Thanks a lot FB memories!

Even the smallest details makes me feel as though I don’t look as good as I use to. Not to mention I am moving into my thirties! The fear of totally falling apart scares the crap out of me.

I know that living a healthy life is helpful and genetics play a role.  I have great genes looking at my mom and dad. Yet, there is just something about watching your body transform over the years that can cause fear.

I know my biggest struggle has been my breast. I use to have beautiful 36 C size perky breast.  Unfortunately, after breastfeeding for the second time, I was left with flat breast that remind me of a Slinky!


Two little sad breast begging to be in a bra. In the past, it was not uncommon for me to walk around without a bra. The only way you would know is if the room was cold. But I can’t do that now. Although, they are slowly regaining mass and plumping up, I got to wear a bra every single day so that I will look pulled together. That bothers me.

I have always been proud of my breastfeeding journey and glad my sacrifice benefitted my babies. I was also very happy I was able to feed my babies without complications, but I often feel sad that my breast changed right before my eyes. And its ok that I feel that way, it is normal.

I know a lot of moms struggle with the discontentment of their bodies and are often riducled for the emotions that trail behind.

Many people say that while we are complaining, somebody is wishing that they could have a baby. And of course that woman would trade places to have those stretch marks of sagging boobs. But we are allowed to be upset. It is upsetting that a mom cannot just feel how she feels without all the unnecessary judgements.

We are human and we feel emotions. You’re allowed to feel this way. I’m allowed to feel this way.

From A Mom who is just being honest…

Tahnee Cole


Me and My kiddos are kicking off the Fall…

Fall is probably my favorite Season.

Not only is Fall a great time to dress in cozy fashionable sweaters, the temperature is still comfortable enough to go outside.

We kicked off the weekend going to our Neighborhood Fall Festival that we attend every year with my mom.



The Festival usually starts with me taking the kids to get their own pumpkin. Later, we take them home to design them!


Then we make our way around to the face painting area, where the kids can get their face painted. This area brings out their creative energy and they can become whoever they want to be. It kind of helps them with their Halloween Costume Decision. LJ was Green Lantern and Heaven just got a simple cross shape on her cheek. Heaven is out of her unicorn stage and now a VSCO girl!


The day is not complete without them taking home a special balloon from the Creative Balloon Makers. Again, Heaven kept it simple and requested a heart.  LJ went all out and got a huge Sword! I am always amazed at what they can do with those Balloons.

We usually walk around to the local stands. Most of the stands are filled with community leaders, targeting families that care about improving the community. There were also products and services to buy from the local businesses. This year I passed out a few of my business Cards and talked to some moms about parenting events. They were excited about meeting a local Blogger! Networking is always a must!


My favorite stand we visited signed the kids up for a chance to win free books for a few year. Then the kids played a game called, Guess how tall you are in apples! Heaven was 20 apples tall and Lj was 13! Amazing how fast my little one is catching up to his big sis!


We didn’t get on the Hay Ride this year, but we danced to the music and the kids had fun hoola hooping!

The Festival is a great way to connect with your family and community during the Fall Season.

Happy Fall

Love, Tahnee Cole

The Mommy Motivator 💋


Jeremey goes to Preschool

If you are like me, picking a preschool for my son was not easy.

Especially transitioning from a private home Provider who cared for him since he was eight months. I had looked into other facilities and I was just not satisfied.

Plus, making sure that one fit my budget was also very important. It was important for me not to receive cheap care though. So price was not my motivator, but looking into scholarships is always a must.

Change is never easy, but necessary. My son needed to be ready for school and in my opinion, he can only get prepared in a school environment.

With his current school, I was impressed with the curriculum, the bright classroom and caring environment. All the teachers seemed to enjoy being a teacher and embraced him immediately. I checked his vibe during an open house tour. He walked in as if he had been attending the center for years. That made me feel comfortable.

The administrators also let me know that I was free to stop in when I wanted, and has been sending pictures of him throughout the day since his first day.

So far, so good…

It is so easy for us to get comfortable, but we have to teach our children to abandon their comfort zones and elevate to success.

Unlike my daughters Montessori preschool (I loved it there too), which promoted independent learning styles. My son has more direct attention and structure. The teacher to child ratio is much smaller and their core curriculum includes foreign and sign language.



It seems like everyday Jr. comes home he is teaching me something new that he learned. It is easier for me to come home and sit down with him and go over his lessons to prepare him for a new day.

I will be visiting the school once a month to read to the children and to stay involved with his lessons.

Very proud of my sonshine!


Good Morning,

There is no Blog post today!

I am attaching my Fall/ Autumn Edition Newsletter for you to check out.

Read it, download it and share it.

Let me know if you like it.

This is the second time I have created a newsletter and I want to continue this seasonal newsletter.

So get out your coffee, tea, or whatever you like Mamas and enjoy some short news from your girl!

Nothing too juicy this edition, I didn’t want to scare my new readers away, LOL.

But beware they will grow to be more in depth and transparent.

I tend to save the juicy and deep stuff for the blog, but if you are here for it all.

Stay tuned….

Hit this link below…

Fall Ed. Newsletter Sep-Nov 2019 BPPS


Moms, I am an advocate for stepping up your professional brand.

You want to succeed. You want to do better, but you are unsure how…

Well, you are a brand!

You represent yourself!

If you do not make yourself look good, no one else will.

Here are my tips on how I made myself more marketable when I was looking for a career,  and what I am continuing to do to move up in my career.

Here are my 5 tips below…

  1. Take a Professional headshot– I always like a current picture of myself. In the past, I would always use my family photographers for my headshots. Yet, this time I was able to take photos at my current job. We got the awesome opportunity to take professional headshots for free. Winning! You have to realize that most recruiters are looking for a clear headshot with a friendly face, dressed like a Professional. Obviously, your photo depends on your career choice. Just make sure your photo is pertinent to the type of career that you want to obtain.
  2. Update your resume and social media-I always keep my resume current making sure to focus on my individual accomplishments that made me an asset to each company I have worked for. I stay away from listing the duties of each job. I also make sure that it is current and not listing every job I have ever had. I am mid-level in my career so I don’t need to list my teenage jobs.  It is not necessary.
  3.  A New email– Unfortunately, my email is always full. So periodically, I will change emails during my job search seasons. It is easy to miss out on opportunities when your email is too full. If you choose to do this, make sure that you add the email to your current resume, business cards and professional social networks.
  4. Business Cards– People only think business cards are for Business owners.  Yet, it is helpful to have a professional card with your information. It should list your job title, and any professional information you may want a Recruiter to know. I have a separate business card for my blogging business. However, I have a professional card with my information on my Accounting background on the Corporate level. Just in case I am looking for a new career and I run into a Recruiter.
  5.  Networking Events–  You have to get yourself out there. So far this month, I have two networking events coming up this month. One wine social for Accountants and a Meet & Greet for local Bloggers. It is important to be get to know others in your current or desired field. It is the only way you will find out about great opportunities. So the people that you need can recognize your face, talent and personality.

I hope these tips help you! Good Luck…


Tahnee Cole

“The Mommy Motivator”

My baby boy changed my perspective. Here is how.

They say a child shall lead the way.

My children always bring a different perspective to my daily thoughts.

How they look at the world is so innocent and so pure.  How they process rejection and hurt can be so beautiful.

At this point, I am tainted from life’s harsh cruelties, so it is scary to think that their beautiful minds will change one day.

To be more like, mine.

Well, my son made me think about my cry baby ways and totally adjusted my mindset.

I will never forget this day. It was last year. My son had just turned 3.

And when I say he is an old soul, that might be an understatement.

Honestly, when I say how smart my son is, people probably think I am exaggerating until you meet him. But, he is truly brilliant.

Like normal,  I had picked him up from his babysitter and he asked me how my day was.

I tried to brush him off because it was a horrible, frustrating day and I did not want to overshadow his day. He seemed to be in a good mood, but he would not let me rush him off that fast.

He smiled, “Mommy, how was your day? My day was good. Did you have a good day?”

“No, I had an awful day Lj. It was just awful.” I said reliving my frustrations from earlier.

“Why, what happened to you?” he said so innocently.

“Well Lj, to make a long story short, I was upset today.  I had my day at work planned out, but my Supervisor needed me to send out some emergency letters. Which is something I do not normally do. It took a ton of time setting up and sending them out. I spent all morning working on this project.” I said irritated.

I turned around and looked at Lj in his carseat at the light. For some reason, I didn’t expect him to even understand why I was upset.

He looked at me.

“Mommy, did you get it all done? he asked.

“Yes”! I answered.

“Good job mommy, don’t worry about the rest” he said looking at me seriously.


When I say, that spoke volumes and shut me up!

It taught me to stop worrying about things that were already complete and to move on.

Have your child/children ever taught you something?

And here I am thinking I’m the mom with all the wisdom.

Not at all.

Not at all.


From a mom learning from her kids…

Tahnee Cole

Moms, having a healthy romantic relationship is great.

Aside, from having someone to help you do stuff or having someone to spend time with.

It is important that your children can witness a healthy relationship.

A relationship with love and respect.

Too many people have zero examples on how to coexist with a romantic partner.

Or, they have only been exposed to negative examples.

Better yet, they have watched and absorb the thoughts of their bitter toxic parent or both, bickering about their past lovers.

Constantly, listening to them ramble about how they are done with relationships.

So quite naturally it will be hard to find your place; as well as, process how you feel when it comes to loving someone.

It is extremely important for my kids to see me love and treat a man with respect and in return be showed love and admiration.

I want them to understand that companionship is normal and vital to having a happy life.

I encourage all moms, more specifically single moms to invest your time into establishing a social and romantic life.

Your children will grow older and move away, are you going to just become a cat lady?
From a mom who is loving, love right now.

Tahnee cole

My Tweenager…

My baby is almost 12 and I can’t believe it. Where the hell is the time going and can someone slow it down, just a little?

I am thrilled to see her grow and excited to witness her personality evolve. We are best friends and shopping buddies. Same time, I miss my little baby girl, and I think about how me sending her off to college is less than ten years away.


Well, since she is getting older, I have been letting my guards down a little and letting her experiment with some styles that she likes. As long as, they don’t make her look as old as me. I am ok with her tapping into her Justice, Vsco girl, fancy chic and unicorn lifestyle.

It is funny because I have always looked at colored hair to be goofy looking.  Who walks around with pink or blue hair besides Nicki Minaj and Lil Kim? I’m a little embarrassed to say that I often looked down upon women who would wear colored wigs or weaves. Thinking they were attention seeking women who would never be taken seriously. So when my daughter started wanting to add colored hair to her braids, I was very skeptical.

Now here’s the thing, I am very fashionable. I switch up my hair often and I love clothes. Yet, there was something about color that made me feel very uncomfortable. I’m not referring to natural colors such as: blonde or red. I’m talking blue, turquoise, purple and pink.

Well, I decided to put my old ways away and stop being a boring bitch. I wanted to step out of my box. I started thinking about how telling my daughter that she had to wear her hair a certain way and not express herself was contradicting my daily advice. This was going against everything I had taught her about being an individual and secure with herself.

I always tell her to be confident in who she wants to be despite what others think, and here I was being judgemental over a few pieces of hair.  All because of me worrying about the misconceptions and judgements of others. Black girls are always ridiculed about their hair no matter how it is styled. We have even been programmed to believe that some of our fashion trends and expressions of style are “ghetto”. Meanwhile, other races mimic the same trends and are recognized as fashionable and trendy.

So I am releasing my old views and embracing some of the changes. Knowing that this is just a phase. A phase no different than my childhood phases. I had to remember I was her age once. I like what I liked and I was still a great student and indivudial.

As long as she is being respectful. I am ok with her doing the things that she likes. In moderation…


The above photo is of Heaven wearing jumbo twist done by me. A protective style that last about two weeks. This time I added purple hair.

Compromise or Keep it Moving?

The man you love does not have children and desires to start a family but…

You are unsure if you want anymore.

That is a huge issue for single parents starting over. To the point where you may even break up and take some space to figure things out.

Having children is a huge commitment. And even more scary when you have children and the previous situation(s) did not work out.

I’m starting to think less and less about compromise and focusing on what makes me happy. We can compromise and then if things go wrong end up feeling miserable. I have always been the one in the relationship to try to compromise due to my love and loyalty. I hate to say it, I often regret it.

I think when you are equally yoked with someone there will be a like-minded chemistry, no power struggles and you will want the same things.

But I don’t know…

Maybe that’s just me.  Have my single moms ever struggled with this?  Have you broke it off with a man because you knew he wanted children?

Tahnee Cole

”The Mommy Motivator”



You’re Exhausted, Own It!

Nobody understands parenthood until they are a parent. All of the demands from not only society, but the internal demands we place on ourselves. We have to be the best. We have to be at every event for our children. We also have to look our best, drink water and have a social life.


I think about my mornings and it seems like I put in 8 hours before I actually arrive at my place of employment. My childless colleagues have no clue the amount of work I do before sitting at my desk to view financial statements.

Beating it out the door every morning. Staring at the clock every five seconds. One eye on breakfast praying it does not burn. The other eye on the outlet making sure that I do not forget to unplug the iron. A basic morning consists  of me yelling multiple times for my daughter to get up and dressing my son while he is asleep. All the way to driving back home because I forgot my work badge or my briefcase.

Is every day like this? No. Some days and weekends I am fully prepared. The food is cooked, clothes are ironed the week prior and everything goes smooth. On the flipside, there are days when work was rough, and I neglect all responsibilities that may make my next morning easier. On those nights, everything that I was supposed to do the night before gets neglected. So that brings chaos the next morning.

With chaos comes stress. I was so stressed out that my immune system became weak and I became sick with pneumonia. Obviously, I explained in my previous post I caught pneumonia from my son who contracted during a camping trip.  However, I can’t help but think if I was not stressed I might have avoided being sick. I have a pretty durable immune system.

It seems as if, from week to week it is a constrant struggle. My latest struggle is finding reliable transportation for my daughter after school. It seems like you have everything figured out and then out of nowhere, a curved ball.

I was discussing my struggles with other moms and we all had one thing in common: we are exhausted! Yet, we feel guilty about it. We all felt like we needed to toughen up. Maybe even add some self-care to our routine.  The catch is, we are not adding it to feel better, but to make us stronger to do more. Do you hear what I am saying? Not to lessen our load, but to build ourselves up only to do more.

For instance, I will spend a weekend resting only to get up the next week and overwhelm myself with duties that need to be eliminated. There will need to be times that I say no. There will be days when the kids need to eat take out. I was telling my mom friends at work that we need to admit that we are exhausted, own it and do something about it.

What can you do to lessen your load? It is time to stop pretending that we are ok and ask for the help we need, outsource and find ways to make our lives as simple as possible.

My doctor haunted me with his last words during my visit.

“Tahnee, you can die from exhaustion. You do a lot. At the rate you are going, you won’t make it to see 40.”

Sounds harsh, but it woke me up. It forced me to realize that I need to make changes. I needed to admit I was exhausted, own it and do something about it.


From A Mom Who is Figuring it all out…

Tahnee Cole

Phenomenal Mom

No Blog would ever be complete without paying homage to a great mom. My mom is the epitome of a great mom.  It is quite amazing that just when she wins the great mom award she comes back and wins for best grandmom. She exudes class, strength and selflessness. I often feel guilty for the amount of sacrifices that my mom has made for me. I recently decided that I would spend now to the end of my days, making sure that she knows nothing that she ever did for me has went in vain. Now if you talk to my mom she will brag about how extremely proud of me she is and I think she over does it when she talks about my accomplishments. I don’t feel like I deserve the compliments and I still have a long way to go. Yet, I aim to make her proud.

I have so much admiration and respect for my mom. She is an extremely hard-worker and I have always felt like she deserved way more than she has received. Especially, when it comes to recognition at work. She goes over and beyond to get the job done. She is efficient and effective. Her work ethic is unmeasurable and damn near unattainable.  However, I want her to realize that she also deserves rest. She deserves a vacation and she deserves to be selfish.

My mom has taught me a lot when it comes to standing firm in your faith. When I am low and down on myself she always reminds me that faith in necessary to change any situation. She has unwaiverable faith and a solid relationship with her Creator. She is a woman of her word and has never made me question if she was in my corner. My mom is what one would consider: your ride or die. She is down with you to the end. Every day I pray for her to live out her years with happiness, abundance and prosperity. I always say if I am half the woman and mom that she is, I am pleased. I love you Mom, you are Phenomenal.

From a Mom, who loves her mom

Tahnee Cole

Lessons of Life

I’m writing this from my bed. It’s crazy how a few weeks ago I was perfectly fine and today I feel like I’m fighting for my life. I was diagnosed with pneumonia and realize that it is not even close to a common cold. In plain words: this shit sucks. The thought that my son who is 4 years old had this infection few weeks ago hurts me to my core. It is one thing to watch someone sick, but once you experience it yourself everything changes. They say you have to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes to even understand a third of their journey or to understand their reaction to life.

Funny thing is, this nightmare didn’t just stop with me. Not only did I have the pleasure of getting pneumonia, but my daughter who is 11 also contracted this nasty illness. She is healing up a lot better than mommy though. Thank God for healthy kids because my baby is doing very well healing up like my son did. My poor Heaven was a victim of circumstance because she has never even had the flu before. Unfortunately for me, The doctor found pneumonia on both sides of my chest which prolongs the healing process. The doctor said we caught it from being exposed to my son when he had it during the contagious stage.

What am I learning from this trial?

Well, a few things.  Number 1: I don’t want to die right now. I wrestled with the thought that I would be at peace years ago to end my existence, because life seemed pointless and full of undeserving pain. However, I think when you are possibly facing death is when you will realize if you truly have a desire to live. I can’t leave my kids right now and I have a lot to accomplish. I fear meeting my Creator before living out his divine assignment. Or at least getting close to it…

Number 2:  I can be up and down. That is a lesson for everyone. We will not always feel good or be living our best life. There will be bad days. So appreciate the days that you feel good and make the most of those days. When you are ill  take the time out to take care of yourself, try not to mope and have faith that better days are ahead.

Number 3: I will always be there for the people who love and care for me. When you are low you always find out who your loyal supporters are. I’ve had some people I have least expected offer to bring me soup. My dad said “always remember your team because you will soon have a winning season”.

I will always remember this time of my life…

From A Mom who is fighting to live…

Tahnee Cole