Category: PARENTHOOD TIPS

Uncomfortable Conversations

Tahnee Cole1 Comment

My daughter was amazed that even at 13 she could possibly be approached with offers of sex, drugs and liquor.
One day you are playing with Barbie, the next you are built better than Barbie and getting attention from the opposite sex.
Growing up can bring on a mix of emotions for parents and children.


I am thankful my daughter doesn’t want to grow up too fast, but I have to warn her of the kids who are anxious to try things they are not mature enough to handle.

Dealing with a teen can be tricky. It’s important to establish trust and a strong relationship with your teen. You want to be open but remain respectful. You want them to be able to talk to you while being respectful of your place in their life. You want to guide them as a parent, but discuss topics with them like a friend or mentor. You want to put the rules down without sounding like a Judge or overbearing.
Hell, we have all been teens. We have all made choices our parents may not have agreed with, but most of us can say that those disagreements early on gave us more insight than we will admit. We realized our parents were right, regardless if we want to admit the truth. Now, we are scared as hell that some of our karma will come through our kids.


To be honest, I was a pretty good kid, honor students, not sneaky, stayed out of trouble, but like any other teen I enjoyed my independence and found happiness in making my own choices. The guidance I had through both parents allowed me to think before I made choices. No I wasn’t perfect, but at least I had common sense. Even when I made unfavorable choices, I was able to take accountability and do better the next time.

As I embark on this journey with my daughter, I have been making an effort to keep an open relationship, explain to her critical thinking and give her insight on why she should and should not make certain choices.

Even though some conversations are difficult to have , it is best to lay everything on the table so she will be prepared to handle any situation. Keeping our kids naïve in hopes they will just ignore the chaos will leave them defenseless and more prone to making naïve choices.

As Heaven grows into the intelligent, young boss that she is, she can always depend on me to keep it real and to put her best interest a top priority!

Sending all my parents of teens positivity as they face many challenges!!!

Tahnee Cole

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Changes and Children

Tahnee Cole1 Comment

I had to explain to my son that life would always be changing. Rarely will everything be constant, but change can be beneficial. My son is six, a very smart six year old, but like most children change can be difficult. Family structure, new schools, new living situations, etc are always to be expected as years pass by.

But like six year olds, when we don’t initiate the change we feel uncomfortable, we feel vulnerable. I explained to my son that just like him, change whether voluntary or involuntary can also take its toll on me.

For example, I am adjusting to going from corporate savvy career woman to work at home mom. Yes, I am still a savvy, corporate career woman, but now I have the opportunity to stay at home and nurture my children, my home and work in my profession. It’s a blessing and a challenge at the same time.

Have I struggled with the change? Yes. However, I have learned to adjust to those changes by seeing the positive out the situation. Also, making adjustments and working to improve what I can around the change to make the best out of it.

After having this discussion with Jeremey we talked about the perks of some of the new changes, we even discussed some new goals we were going to make as a team. I am happy that my son can confide in me when he is uncomfortable about anything and trusts me to give him encouragement and words of wisdom.
I assured Jeremey that as long as I am breathing, I will be there to help him with all of life’s changes and challenges along the way!

Does your child struggled with change?

Confidence is Key : Ways I Encourage & Motivate My Black Son.

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In a world, where young black men are often downplayed as thugs, irresponsible baby daddies, drug dealers etc. It is important to teach our children about the images that are not often on the news. The positive images. Black people are thriving and there are many positive representations of “black boy joy” and “the black man can” to inspire our sons to be their greatest self. However, many times those positive images are hidden behind all the negative depictions. We must obviously educate our young kings about what is necessary to survive, but even more so on how to thrive.

Let me tell you about 5 ways that I am encouraging my son to be his greatest self. As well as, to celebrate himself with confidence!

BOOKS …

I love the fact that there are many positive books for young black boys. Some of my favorite books come from Hey Carter Books by Dr. Thomishia Booker. These books teach my son to be comfortable and proud to be in his beautiful brown skin. They show positive representations of strong, gifted young boys. I adore the message presented to young children. My son is five and we have been reading these books since the beginning of the pandemic. We end our day with a book to help encourage him through tough school weeks and to keep reminding him of his greatness.

KNOWLEGE OF PEOPLE WHO CHANGED THE NARRATIVE…

I think it is so important to show my son examples of people who did the unthinkable. Showing him people who beat the odds. Life is not going to be easy and there will be obstacles. Showing your child a pretty perfect picture can often set them up for disappointments and defeat when they enter the real world. Instead, I show my son that obstacles can build character and that he can conquer the toughest of situations.

I also spent some time explaining to my son that even though I am his number one support system that it can be done without me. I try to teach my kids to rely on themselves, because we never know when we will only have ourselves. We must believe in ourselves when others do not. I also let them know that there are people who were successful without support so they will be a force to be reckon because they actually have support.

Lately, my son has been showing an interest in Science, but said other kids in the class thought he was weird for wanting to be a Scientist. I explained to my son that there are so many benefits of picking an unpopular purpose driven career choice. It is so easy to push our sons to athletic careers or the normal doctor, lawyer etc. These careers are also great, but I let my son know that it is possible to create a lane for himself and be damn good at it.

Extracurricular Activities…

Not only is it a great idea to keep your son in extracurricular activities for his health and wellness. It is a way to keep your child’s mind occupied with positive activities. Sports help with teamwork, leadership, focus, discipline and many other great values that will keep your child stay the course. Both my children are also following in their moms footsteps and wants to play musical instruments. I think it is very important to keep my children focused on their strengths and the positive talents that they can contribute to the world.

Positive males in his life…

My son is blessed to have a good active father in his life. He sees his dad multiple times a week and every other weekend. They have bonded since birth and he is pretty strict on how he raises Jr. I trust that he has Jeremey’s best interest at heart, and will keep him on the right path. Him having men in his life that show him how to value hard work, respect and morals will keep him focused. Many of the men in his life, dad, grandfathers, uncles, etc.. are hard-workers so he knows that nothing will just be given to him, but earned. I will also make sure that he is provided with mentors when it comes to different areas of his life. Mentors that are outside of the family that can help him with guiding him through his personal and professional life choices.

Positive self talk, Affirmations and compliments…

I am the mom to hype up her kids. I am also the mom to yell when I get upset, but I am learning that there is so much power in what you say. Giving your children positive reinforcement and positive affirmations will build them up. In a world where they will meet people who will deliberately cut them down, the last thing they need is you saying bad things about them. I definitely think this is something you have to work on daily, because as parents sometimes we tend to always correct and point out flaws, but we must focus on our children’s strengths. Especially, our young black boys who will always have to try a little Harder.

Tahnee Cole

Teaching young ones to read…

Tahnee Cole2 Comments

Both of my parents worked at the Cleveland Public Library. That is how they met and after marriage a legend was born, (ME) LOL. My dad went on to work there and retire. So, I grew up extremely involved in the library and I grew a passion to read and write. It was also very important for my kids to learn how to read. Unfortunately, since the pandemic, we have not been able to go to the library. We are use to going to the library at least 2 to 3 times a week. I have a kindergartener who is still learning to read. He has an awesome vocabulary, writes legibly, but is in the process of learning to read.

Career moms, please don’t feel guilty. It is hard to work and put the extra time in with the kids. Especially, the consistency needed to help your child with a fundamental part of their growth. Reading is one of the most important things we all have to learn. I often wonder, if you can’t read, how will your survive? If you are a busy mom like me, I provided a few tips that I am using to help my littlest read. It worked wonders for my daughter, who currently reads on a college level. So, here we are again. Remember to develop some routines. Plus, stay consistent, patient and positive.

5 TIPS

  1. Read Daily– Kids learn by routine. Our reading time is usually at night when it is time to settle for bed. Nighttime stories are great for bonding. Sometimes we cuddle with snacks and knock out four books. When you make reading time enjoyable, kids want to do it often.
  2. Sight words- I use flashcards daily with Jr. Seeing the same words over and over helps to stay in his memory. Repetition is the quickest way to retain information. As we read books, Jr. is able to pick out the sight words. The more words he learns, the more sentences he can complete while reading.
  3. Reading programs– Jr.’s dad enrolled him in a phonics reading program. I definitely saw some results. Look up some online programs. It may take a little time to find free or low cost programs, but it is definitely worth the time and effort. If you don’t mind spending an extra buck try enrolling your child in a reading program. Most reading programs are successful at using techniques that can help encourage your child to read more.
  4. Older Siblings– Younger kids learn quick from their older siblings. They want to keep up. I remember watching my daughter show my son how to write his name. She used dots and it worked like magic. Before I knew it, he was writing his name without any assistance. The older siblings know tips and tricks. Most siblings love being involved. So don’t be afraid to ask for their help.
  5. Talk to your kids– It sounds weird, but children who are talked to are proven to have a more extensive vocabulary. I have never talked “baby talk” to my kids. As a result, they are little chatter boxes. My son uses very large words, that you would rarely hear from a five year old. Talking to them also helps with them picking up words and phrases. As well as, understanding sentence structure, which is all apart of reading.

I hope that you enjoyed my list, and can use this for your young readers. Remember, once the kids learn to read that it doesn’t just stop there. Encourage your children to always read and build their vocabulary. As they get older, we just have to motivate and encourage them in more creative ways.

Tahnee Cole