Tag: #lifestyleblog

Changes and Children

Tahnee Cole1 Comment

I had to explain to my son that life would always be changing. Rarely will everything be constant, but change can be beneficial. My son is six, a very smart six year old, but like most children change can be difficult. Family structure, new schools, new living situations, etc are always to be expected as years pass by.

But like six year olds, when we don’t initiate the change we feel uncomfortable, we feel vulnerable. I explained to my son that just like him, change whether voluntary or involuntary can also take its toll on me.

For example, I am adjusting to going from corporate savvy career woman to work at home mom. Yes, I am still a savvy, corporate career woman, but now I have the opportunity to stay at home and nurture my children, my home and work in my profession. It’s a blessing and a challenge at the same time.

Have I struggled with the change? Yes. However, I have learned to adjust to those changes by seeing the positive out the situation. Also, making adjustments and working to improve what I can around the change to make the best out of it.

After having this discussion with Jeremey we talked about the perks of some of the new changes, we even discussed some new goals we were going to make as a team. I am happy that my son can confide in me when he is uncomfortable about anything and trusts me to give him encouragement and words of wisdom.
I assured Jeremey that as long as I am breathing, I will be there to help him with all of life’s changes and challenges along the way!

Does your child struggled with change?

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5 TIPS TO HELP CAREER MOMS TO SUCCEED

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So, I know I joke on my social media platforms about my go to when surviving motherhood: wine. But wait, in all seriousness, there is so much more. Mom life will make you go through many trial and error lessons before you finally find a groove. Even then, situations are subject to change and then you will have to adjust accordingly. For instance, this pandemic. It had caused me to abandon some of my old routines and create a new set of systems.

Well, today I selected a few basic tips that should help you regardless of your routine changes. They are a basic set of principles that should help you manage #mommyhood and be successful.

A Solid Self Care Plan

Eating healthier, exercise, some type of mental and spiritual stimulation and spending time recharging. Your choice, your way.

 

love romantic bath candlelight
Photo by Breakingpic on Pexels.com

Flexibility In Your Career 

Your employer or you (if you are your own boss) needs to understand that work life balance is mandatory and your family is priority. In order to effectively work, you need peace of mind when it comes to knowing your family is well cared for. A solid mind is more productive, that’s a win, win.
woman in white long sleeve shirt and overalls
Photo by Ogo on Pexels.com

Quality Childcare

 That is school. After and before school. Summer camp, even extra-curricular activities. While your children are out of your presence, you should be at ease that they are being cared for.
closeup photo of assorted color alphabets
Photo by Magda Ehlers on Pexels.com
Photo by Markus Spiske on Pexels.com
Photo by Magda Ehlers on Pexels.com

Money Management

Career moms make money, but need to still make sure that their finances are in order. Due to busy schedules it may be harder to keep track of finances, but budgets and money managing professionals can be useful for career moms to maintain stability and meet financial goals.
bank notes bills cash currency
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

A Solid Schedule/ Planner/Organizer

A career moms schedule can get super busy. So we need career moms to get their schedule in order. Once you have created a solid schedule. You are in control of your time and time management is a key to success!!!
personal organizer and pink flowers on desk
Photo by Kaboompics .com on Pexels.com

As always remember that you are doing a great job. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Make adjustments and keep pushing!

Tahnee Cole

Last Minute Gift Ideas for a Tween Like Mine…

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If you are looking for last minute ideas for a tween girl like mine, here are 10 gifts she will probably love. This is not all tweens, but girls who are like my baby girl Heaven!

  1. Nails/ Nail polish- My daughter has quite a nail collection. She enjoys doing her friends nails for some pocket change (future business woman), and she also likes buying press on nails. The press on nails are so nice now they look like you got a manicure from a professional salon!nail polish

  2. Anything Justice- Heaven has loved Justice since she was 6. She loves the clothes, jewelry, accessories for her room, back packs, lunch boxes, and much more. The store is specifically for girls and you cannot go wrong purchasing a gift there. justice

  3. Phone cases- My daughter has an iphone. I broke down and bought her one earlier this year, but she  has to have a case that can match her many outfits. You can find phone cases anywhere, but her favorite place is Claire’s Boutique. phone case

  4. Lip gloss- No make up yet, but she is into the sweet glossy (extra glossy) lip stage. She also likes to make her own. So I also purchased her a lip gloss kit which is a great gift. Hey, they can use the kit to start their own business. #girlboss #kidboss

  5. Bookbag purse and fanny packs- My daughter is really into purses to match her outfits. It funny because I remember being into bookbag purses and fanny packs when I was her age. Girls love bags so it is a great gift idea.

  6. Colored Extensions- It took me a minute to get into this trend, but I gave in. Heaven loves colored hair, so I allow her to buy colored extensions to add in her braids for fun. . It’s a unicorn, Vsco girl phase I guess. A lot of girls are into either the clip in extensions, or even the spray in color. We use to use spray and Kool-Aid! lol heavegiftblog2

  7. Scrunchies- All Vsco girls like scrunchies to wear around their wrist, so load up on different colors to match their outfits. You can get them from dollar stores all the way to department stores.

  8. Bath bombs/ smell goods- Bath and body is one of my daughters favorite stores. Most girls like to smell sweet and good. So buying a young lady you know some sweet smelling lotion or body wash will definitely be a hit for Christmas.

  9. Journal/ Books/ Planners- Girls like to write about their goals, dreams, their days, who their best friends are and their plans. They also like to read. This year I bought my daughter all three. A journal to write her daily life goals and secrets. Plus a book called The Confidence Code for girls by Katty Kay & Claire Shipman.book

  10. Gift cards- Lastly, you can never go wrong with gift cards. If you just don’t know what to get just buy a gift card and they can buy what they want!! Some popular gift cards are ITUNES, APPLE, AMAZON.

Teaching my son there is a Black Superman, he is.

Tahnee Cole3 Comments

The picture of my son in 2018 wearing his Superman costume inspired this post. He looks so strong, confident and majestic. He truly believes that he can do anything. Which is why daily, I find myself having to convince him not to jump down the flight of stairs.

But, I don’t want that confidence to disappear. I want him to keep believing in himself. To strive for heights that most think are unachievable for him. I want to see him smash his goals, conquer the unconquerable and beat the stereotypes placed on him through statistics.

It is unfortunate when I only hear negative news, and see more negative images about men who look like my son. It kills me when I hear stories of black boys with bright futures who turn to a life of crime. Simply because they no longer see Superman as a true future. They once had bright smiles like my son , they once believed, but one day something happened.

It is important that we teach our sons they are our Superheroes, despite the negative depictions placed over them.  We have to encourage our sons to take responsibility for their lives and hold them accountable for their actions. With confidence that, they can one day be the leading examples of our world.

I told my son that he has the power and ability to do whatever he desires. The same super powers he has when he puts on his cape now, will never leave him.  That power will manifest in a different form, according to his human abilities to change the entire world.

So I tell my son, he is Superman.

We must tell our young men that he is, Superman.

From a Mom who loves and believe in her son..

Tahnee Cole

“If you leave that damn coat at school, don’t come home!”

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Hey, I’m a black mom and I’m extra AF (as f*ck), if you aren’t familiar with the acronym. LOL

Excuse my French, but there is no better way to describe my parenting style when it comes to trying to prove a point to my kids.

When my kids leave the house during the Fall and Winter season, I find myself giving them a lecture. Not only about making sure they keep on their coats, but keeping up with their coats. Hats, scarves and gloves as well.

My mama said it to me and I am pretty sure my grandma said it to her.

“If you leave the coat at school, don’t come home.”

For some reason, my kids need me to take it to the extreme to prove to them that I am not playing with them and ….

Ain’t nobody got time for that!

They not only need their coats to stay warm and avoid getting sick. But mama pays good money to keep them warm and I want to see them look like they left the house.

The coats are usually not a huge issue, because they don’t want to freeze those little honey buns off. However, I feel like I replace gloves all winter.  So far the old stick the gloves in the hat and hat in the sleeve trick is working.

If not, I hope the school has some bunk beds, because I mean what I said before.

LOL

jr coat

From A Mom, trying to keep her kids warm

XOXO

Tahnee Cole

YOU ARE NOT OBLIGATED…

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Don’t forget I am a Today Parents contributor…

https://community.today.com/parentingteam/post/you-are-not-obligated-to_1572064421

Hit the link and like the article!

But first…

Are you a parent who struggles to find your voice in certain situations?

It can be tough and we all have our moments.

It is important though that we are able to tell our children “No”.

Not because we are mean, but simply because they will be told no many times and they need to be prepared. They need to be able to accept a “No”, without having a meltdown or becoming violent.

There is nothing wrong with telling them “NO”.

PRACTICE WITH ME and spell it out, “N-O”!!!

 

HIT THE LINK BELOW

https://community.today.com/parentingteam/post/you-are-not-obligated-to_1572064421

 

Tahnee Cole

“THE MOMMY MOTIVATOR”

And Yes, I’m a Mom…

Tahnee Cole3 Comments

There is such a strong stigma that comes with being a mom. So many expectations, so many requirements. Most of the time, we feel damned if we do, damned if we do not.

One of the most common criticisms I have received is that since I am a mom, I can no longer be viewed as sexy. I am expected to trade in my bikini for a t-shirt when I go to the beach. I am expected to hide myself as though I am no longer an individual. Why can’t I be proud of the body I have as a 30 something mother of two?

I work for a high profile corporate company and on most days I am required to wear business professional attire. So I love to kick back on the weekend and dress how I please. There is a such thing as being tasteful and displaying your beauty. I think a mother is one of the sexiest titles a woman can own. We are the epitome of sexiness! Our bodies are like rubber bands. They stretch, but they can bounce back!

After having my second child, I was feeling down about my body. The drastic changes postpartum can be overwhelming. I started going to the gym to make myself look and feel better. It worked! I could see the changes in my body and my mind. So why am I criticized for wearing a form fitting dress or a pair of shorts? After a long time of feeling bad; I was feeling good and desirable. I salute all the mamas who are proud of their bodies. As long as, I am not degrading myself or embarrassing my children with my image. I will continue to celebrate my femininity and be proud of this body that has created lives and legends. Yes, you are a mom now, but you can still be sexy!

2 Kids, 1 Job and No Man…

Tahnee Cole4 Comments

April 3, 2017,  felt like a regular Monday. Well actually it didn’t, I was supposed to be going in late to work due to a dentist appointment. I couldn’t help but notice the constant buzzing of my phone while I was getting dressed.  My co-worker was calling me. Matter of fact, she had called me few times which was unusual for her. She was supposed to be at work. I knew something had to be wrong. Perhaps, she forgot her ID badge or wanted me to let the Supervisor know she would be late but…

“Hey Tahnee. They are laying off workers today. I just received my severance package and a notice that my position was eliminated. I’m not sure if you will be too, but I am just warning you.” she said. Her tone was disappointed but pretty calm.

I don’t really think my heart skipped a beat, but instantly my mind flashed to my kids. “2 kids, 1 job and no man”, is what ringed in my head. It is  actually a line in a Jay Z song. This was so befitting to my current life, but now my one and only job could possibly be gone.

What the hell was I going to do if I got laid off? I thought to myself.

Luckily, due to many obstacles in my life, I have grown to have tough skin. As well as, developed a fearless chick persona. My thought process now is: no matter what, I got this!

Well, it happened. I was laid off. My strong work ethic and loyalty to the company was not enough to keep me employed. Fast forward today, I noticed something about my previous employer opposed to my new employer. Both established corporate companies, but the culture is noticeably different. My first week on the job there was an announcement that there would be a layoff. Obviously, this made me a little antsy and I had even questioned, what the hell I had gotten myself into. Yet, I couldn’t help but admire the compassion they had for their workers.  At least they were honest enough to give their employees a fair warning and time to make a decision. My previous company walked me out the building like I was a criminal. There was no fair warning and a secured escort with a box of my personal belongings. A very humbling and embarrassing experience I might add.

When my manager spoke to me, honestly all I could hear was,  “f*ck you and your kids, bye now”.

I could make this personal and name others who should have taken my spot. I could go on and on about how I didn’t deserve it, but I am not one to dwell in the past. I even hesitated about sharing this experience, but I felt it is huge part of my professional history. It was also a major wake up call that I must always secure the bag for my family. That is by never putting my stability solely in the hand of a corporate company. When it comes down to it, most of the time, hard-worker or not, you are just another replaceable number. It was clear that they honestly could care less where my kids meals come from. I was grateful for the health coverage, severance package and my savings.  I was able to take off much needed time with my kids and re-evaluate my professional path.  Obviously, I re-entered the workforce, but I had a different agenda. It is a blessing to receive compensation, but it was still a task starting over and rebuilding after years with a company.

I’m not bitter at all though. This experience stretched me, educated me and built me to be a stronger woman for my new employer, but also helped to empower me to create a business of my own.

From a Mom with Experience.

_Tahnee Cole

Tahnee’s Thoughts: Satisfied?

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I was romantically involved with a man who questioned would I ever be satisfied.

 

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He would joke about my lack of contentment. Saying that no matter what goals I smashed, or new endeavors I engaged in I wanted more. Leading him to believe that I will also grow tired of our relationship. He made these comments to the point that I began to combat his comments with insults.

On the defense, I began opposing his stagnation and lack of initiative. Am I lacking contentment or are you just way too damn comfortable?  Perhaps, you are too comfortable in a job that has no security. Plus, way too comfortable living mediocre.  It is safe to say that relationship did not last long. LOL

However, I stand firm in believing that it is quite alright to desire and to have a hunger for more. We are designed to grow, change and to evolve. What is life without actually seeing what you can accomplish, while contributing our gifts to the world? I believe that not being my best self and attaining more would be an insult to my Creator and I’m not ok with that.

I can’t say for sure when I will feel content. I like to think that day will arrive when I know my great, great grandkids are financially and emotionally wealthy. Until that day arrives, I will be setting goals, smashing them and setting up new heights for me to reach.

From a Mom, that desires more…

-Tahnee Cole

A Birthday Letter to Me…

Tahnee Cole4 Comments

Dear Tahnee,

I want to apologize to you for ever doubting you. I want to say sorry for abusing your body. I apologize for the part I played, helping you engage in mindless intimate connections to recover from pain from your ex (exes).

I want to say sorry for the days I starved you, over-working you for a company who could care less where your next meal comes from. Then I had the audacity to make you feel bad, for asking for that raise that you rightfully deserved.

I am sorry for not speaking up for you the times someone trying to degrade you.  I am sorry for putting pressure on you to live up to societies standards of beauty.

Tahnee, I am so sorry for not helping you end early, situations and people who did not have your best interest at heart. I apologize to you for making you feel guilty for going to work. I know that you have to take care of your children.

I am sorry for making you feel like you have to be so great that you can’t feel pain. I have been bashing you when you are weak and telling you to toughen up.

I am sorry for not patting you on the back for all that you have accomplished. 

I am so sorry Tahnee.  

From this day forward, I vow to TRUST you. I promise to STAND by you. I promise to HELP you NEVER settle. I promise to be there when you are SUCCESSFUL and when you fail. I promise to go on this journey with you; LOVING you and APPRECIATING you for better and for worse. I LOVE you Tahnee and I FORGIVE you.  Happy birthday!

-From Tahnee Cole

#GOALS

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If you follow me on Instagram at blackpumpspinkslippers you will see that I post #MomConfessions and #MomGoals daily on my page. While #MomConfessions are humorous little nuggets of hidden mom truths. #MomGoals are my desires to help my children attain success and happiness.

One of my #MomGoals is to teach my children that generational curses is just a belief and a way of getting yourself off the hook for not being successful. I would rather call it generational diseases simply because it can transpire into poor habits and thinking that spreads. Our lives are not predestined to failure. Most of us select failure by not learning from our mistakes, refusing to take a new approach and keeping the same poor mindset. We also fall into so called family curses not because of voodoo placed on our family, but because we follow the same practices from the previous generations. Those same agendas and practices either did not work for them or due to change they no longer work for us.

My duty as a mom is to provide my children with resources to show them abundance is possible. I am here to connect them to mentors who are more intelligent and talented than me. I would never want my children to think due to their last name or the blood running through their veins that they are doomed. I want to help them broaden their thoughts and allow them to see that their opportunities are limitless.  #MOMGOALS!

 

From a MOM who believes in #MOMGOALS

Tahnee Cole