Tag: mommylife

Teaching my son there is a Black Superman, he is.

Tahnee Cole3 Comments

The picture of my son in 2018 wearing his Superman costume inspired this post. He looks so strong, confident and majestic. He truly believes that he can do anything. Which is why daily, I find myself having to convince him not to jump down the flight of stairs.

But, I don’t want that confidence to disappear. I want him to keep believing in himself. To strive for heights that most think are unachievable for him. I want to see him smash his goals, conquer the unconquerable and beat the stereotypes placed on him through statistics.

It is unfortunate when I only hear negative news, and see more negative images about men who look like my son. It kills me when I hear stories of black boys with bright futures who turn to a life of crime. Simply because they no longer see Superman as a true future. They once had bright smiles like my son , they once believed, but one day something happened.

It is important that we teach our sons they are our Superheroes, despite the negative depictions placed over them.  We have to encourage our sons to take responsibility for their lives and hold them accountable for their actions. With confidence that, they can one day be the leading examples of our world.

I told my son that he has the power and ability to do whatever he desires. The same super powers he has when he puts on his cape now, will never leave him.  That power will manifest in a different form, according to his human abilities to change the entire world.

So I tell my son, he is Superman.

We must tell our young men that he is, Superman.

From a Mom who loves and believe in her son..

Tahnee Cole

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Let me be candid, and keep it funky about co-parenting.

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Everything is picture perfect now.

You get on social media and the portrayal of a perfect life is the new norm.

The influencers at times, can influence people to live a lie or contribute to insecurities.

Insecurities about fantasies.

A spotless home (usually a mansion), a perfect faithful husband, perfect well-manner kids and my favorite:

Perfect co-parenting relationships…

Look, I am sure there are some very healthy, team player type co-parenting relationships out there. And trust me when I say, I’m proud of them. However, there are a lot of couples who are constantly a work in progress. Co-parenting can be a roller coaster journey, because it can often depend on what the parent is dealing with in his or her own life. Co-parenting can often be difficult for a number of reasons.

Here are a few I have heard outside of my own journey:

  1. Maybe you didn’t get along when you were together . So trying to come to agreements apart can prove to be even more difficult.
  2. Emotions could still be there. Some people don’t want to admit it, but the love they still have for their partner could affect how they raise the kids. The feelings can be  one -side or on both sides. To be honest, many times it is on both sides, but one person is usually in denial.
  3. Still sleeping around and causing confusion. Sex with the ex can be a big “no,no”.
  4. Or you flat out can’t stand each other. So raising a kid together is now another burden and you simply wish the other person would get lost.

Well co-parenting is not something that can be forced or suddenly changed. Depending on how the situation ended, that usually dictates the dynamic of the relationship. It is rough and some days it takes the energy out of you. There will be ups and downs, good days and bad ones.

So yes, it is ok and you do not have to be picture perfect. Do not text you ex and expect them to want to do a photoshoot for social media. Just to prove that you are both mature individuals raising your kids.

Let it flow and pray about it. Be your best self and realize that time will heal everything. Things will change and force people to change.  I am all for broadcasting healthy examples and trying to promote peace and prosperity. However, I am all for people being honest about where they are in life, and not feeling judged or belittled because their family structure does not resemble another.

So live life on your terms and be able to accept where you are at that moment.

Trust me, it will bring you peace and worse case scenario, you and your ex are never able to meet eye to eye. You can be satisfied knowing that you tried, but able to accept that you can’t control anyone, but you.

And honestly, there is more to life than social media facades.

From a Mom, who is just being honest…

Tahnee Cole

SBMS

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Do you suffer from Super Bitch Mom Syndrome?

The Symptoms are as follows:

  1. Competing with other moms when it comes to mommy duties and your kid’s accomplishments. You even embellish things to make you seem like a better mom.
  2. Complaining about not having any help, but when people offer you decline. Of course you do because you are Super Mom. Help… what the hell is that?
  3. Putting other moms down for their food choices, but we saw you at the McDonalds drive thru the other night. Yeah those happy meals were for your neighbors kids again, right? LOL

There are many other symptoms of Super Bitch Mom Syndrome, but if you have one or all three chances are you need to take a small dosage of chill!

We all know at least one mom who is this way. It may even be YOU. I did not write this to put you down, but to help you take a minute to appreciate who you are. The truth is that you are not and will never be perfect.  We all appreciate your effort and trust me I have suffered from this myself. However, it is 2018 and we need balance. It is perfectly fine to be the best mom you can be, but realize you are going to make mistakes.

Don’t over-work yourself!

Don’t try to impress others!

Don’t stress yourself out!

You are Super without trying to be Super!