PEACE, LOVE & MOTHERHOOD

As I sit here and sip my tea, I think about what so many Mommy Bloggers contribute to my life. I am so inspired by this era of women. I am so proud of especially black moms, who are branching out and sharing their unique motherhood journey.

Whenever I go to THE MOM IN ME BLOG… https://www.themominmeblog.com/ I feel a sense of peace and connection to my higher self. I am not sure how I found Blogger Mom Princess, but honey she has blessed me!!! She is a wife, mom of 3 cuties, a planter, herbalist, yogi, business owner, and so much more. I got a chance to talk to her about how she incorporates PEACE into mom life. We know mom life can be chaotic.  So she spilled a little of her tea on how to enhance your motherhood journey and overall well-being.

PRINCESS SAID…

“Incorporating peace while juggling being a mom is not an easy task. Even I have days where I lose my shit, so I am most definitely not always in a peaceful mood.”

She explains that it starts from the moment you close your eyes for the night. This sets the tone for the following day. Sleep peacefully, wake up peacefully.

So not only is Princess concerned about the day, but also how she maintains her well-being the following day. Which is extremely important.

 

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“Meditation before bed is important to me. I actually fall asleep faster because of it. I often fall asleep before I even finish mediating. In the mornings, my routine consists of tea, meditation and yoga. And throughout the day, even if it’s just for 30 seconds, I meditate.”

 

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“Taking time to regroup and breathe is more important than people think. It only takes a few seconds to regroup. Those seconds make a huge difference. I took yoga in high school, and actually went to anger management (my high school had a health clinic inside, sponsored by the local hospital. They provide free services). That’s when it all began. I started meditating and doing yoga before I left for school. Then I’d do yoga at school. It was one of the classes offered for physical education. I had a lot of built up anger from childhood. I was angry ALL THE TIME, for NO REASON.”

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Blogger Mom Princess explains that at one point she actually got away from meditating and doing yoga. Life was too stressful for her to focus on it. She came back to it in 2013 and I’m glad she did. She has even created a bonus room upstairs in her home for her yoga space and a pole for fitness. So she is able to get away and have time for herself.  She jokes that she tells her husband Dwight that she is going upstairs and everyone knows not to bother her. Its another way for her to relieve stress and become one with nature.

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Some of her favorite hobbies are playing her guitar and writing poetry. I was interested to know this because I also have a love for writing poetry. Princess started writing poetry since 13 and often turned her poems into song.

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One of my biggest questions for Princess was how she represents healthy physical and mental well-being for her children and she said this…

“As far as my children when it comes to physical and mental health, I try my best to allow them to express themselves as they please. Of course with guided input from Dwight and I. But we don’t want them to do things just because it’s what we do. Freedom of expression is important for mental health. They like to join me during yoga sessions. They like helping in the garden. So I try to encourage them when I see they are interested. Make it fun and it doesn’t seem like work, if that makes sense. “

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Princess wants her blog and social media to be a  platform for people to learn how to be a better version of themselves. She has a lot of different projects that she is working on that will be on the blog soon. Including an intention journal, an eBook for blogging tips, and more free (and paid) videos on yoga and meditation. She wants people to know that they don’t have to put a limit on what they can do or learn.

Princess you inspire us! Keep doing what you do girl and we will be checking you out on https://www.themominmeblog.com/!

F*ck him, how is that for therapy? #parentingwithanincarceratedparent

Hey Mamas,

I started therapy a year ago.

In secret. I didn’t want my family to judge me. I didn’t grow up on therapy, I grew up on prayer.

To be honest, it was surface level at first. I didn’t truly want to step out of my comfort zone because, “I’m strong”.

As a matter of fact, I am identified as one of the strongest ones in my family. So how was I supposed to be vulnerable? Especially, with someone who doesn’t know shit about me.

So I looked at therapy to discuss the issues I had with others (their faults) and downplay my own.

I’m not the problem, they are. It’s Tahnee’s world and they just live in it.

However, just recently Heaven attended therapy with me to discuss her issues she was dealing with, in regards to her dad being incarcerated.

Then my eyes were opened.

We had a group therapy session and my daughter let the cat out the bag.
I was insensitive about her dad being away. I had grown to have a fuck him, he made a poor decision, attitude. Which was different from how I use to feel.

The truth is, Heaven’s dad was my official first love and I was crushed when he had been sentenced to 25 years in prison.

But the distance and burden of me having to raise a young child on my own had turned me cold towards him.

The allegations involved declared him guilty for the murder of a woman known as a prostitute.   Yet, even though the evidence that was used to convict him was sketchy, I remember feeling humiliated in court. Sexual favors for cash? And now because of his foolishness my daughter could never have a father & daughter dance.

Of course, I was his ride or die chick pleading to the judge letter after letter, visiting and accepting those high ass phone calls.

I remember one day he had asked me to buy an electronic and I snapped.

How the hell was I going to support him and my daughter? Who was supporting me?

His anger for being locked up made him take things out on me and we slowly began to fall apart. I mean we never stopped talking, but things have never been  the same…

Fast forward to today and through therapy,  I realized that my material over-compensating for his missing presence was not helping my daughter heal. Nor was it filling the voids.

The fact of the matter was, he was missing and she was missing him.

But I was confused, she didn’t want to visit him in jail and they spoke on the phone often so..what was I supposed to do?

I was instantly defensive, “Heaven what am I supposed to do, he fucked up not me, I’m here?” 

The therapist let me speak and then said , “Heaven can you tell me how you feel about your mom’s statement.

No she’s right. I love my mom, but she feels how she feel.” Heaven said with her head down.

I was about to get defensive again, but I was quiet.

Heaven had basically showed me the issue. I was shutting her down when she had explained her feelings about her dad and now my baby wasn’t comfortable talking to me.

I had my dad so I had no understanding of how she felt and showed no compassion (not intentionally).

My heart meant well, but my delivery was shitty.

I spent days explaining to my daughter the statistics of children with an incarcerated parent, and drilling in her head that she has to succeed regardless of the numbers.

Explaining to her not to use her dad’s absence as an excuse to do less in life and to survive off the one parent she has, that is rooting for her.

Telling her to get over the fact her dad was missing, is not right.

This hard truth has helped me realize my flaws as a parent, but also as a woman who obviously has not healed from this situation.

To be continued…